


The Romance of Hazuki Nagisa and Ryuugazaki Rei

by point0k



Category: Free!
Genre: Blind Date, College AU, Fluff and Angst, Hazuki Nagisa's Father - Freeform, M/M, hesitant nagisa, it's supposed to be set in tokyo but i made up a lot of places lol, proactive(?) rei, rin and ai are supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-14 04:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 69,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4549632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/point0k/pseuds/point0k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an ordinary setting, Nagisa meets an extraordinary person.</p><p>(Blind Date AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nagisa finally meets the mysterious Ryuugazaki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's been a long seven months! I hope I haven't forgotten how to write (sweats)

Although he'd been approached romantically by strangers before, this was certainly a new situation.

 

“M-my name is Ryuugazaki! Ryuugazaki Rei!” The man before him bowed stiffly, back almost at a ninety-degree angle. “Th-thank you for agreeing to meet me on this occasion!” 

“Um—” He smiled politely at the crop of dark blue hair—a few strands were sticking up at the back, despite its neatly combed appearance in the front. “Hello, I’m Hazuki Nagisa. It’s nice to meet you.”

“N-no, it’s my pleasure!” Nagisa noticed Ryuugazaki’s ears had turned pink. “If, if you don’t mind, let us be on our way!” 

As he trailed behind the man and his robotic walk, Nagisa wondered whether they would really be able to enjoy themselves today.

 

* * *

 

Ever since he was little, Nagisa had loved the idea of fate, of two people being destined for each other. Maybe his three older sisters were to blame for it—they had been in charge of putting Nagisa to bed until he entered grade school, and his bedtime story had always been one princess story or another. Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty—for a while back then, he’d thought those were the only fairy tales that existed. It wasn’t just the magic and fire-breathing dragons and the gallant bravery of the prince—Nagisa genuinely thought it was wonderful that the prince and princess always ended up together, against all the odds and perils in their way. How could such a feat be explained, if fate wasn’t involved somewhere? 

But those fairy tales didn’t quite explain why Nagisa never outgrew his penchant for fate, not just for love but in general, even as he went through his teen years. Joining the Iwatobi Swimming Club was fate. Reuniting with Haru and Makoto at Iwatobi High was fate. Running into Rin after graduating high school was fate. Winning the 500 yen raffle at the convenience store last Wednesday was also fate, he’d thought happily, as he walked home with the stuffed toy penguin he’d won in his arms. 

With each of his romantic relationships, it had also been the same. Being seat partners in the same class for three years in a row—reaching for the same umbrella on a rainy day and having their hands touch—meeting an attractive stranger’s eyes in the bus and running into each other the next day—stealing glances at each other at a wedding and asking each other to dance at the same time. Each time, Nagisa had been convinced that _this_ was his fated person, _this_ was who he was meant for all along. In the end none of those relationships had worked out—but all the same, Nagisa found each time that he couldn’t completely give up his belief in fate. With each new meeting, with each first date, he had gotten his hopes up again and again. 

 

But this date was a different story.

 

“A blind date?” 

 

He’d been sitting at the corner café with Rin one afternoon, happily lapping up an ice cream sundae that the redhead was treating him to. Now that the bowl was empty, Nagisa could actually hear what Rin was saying. 

“Well, more like an arranged date, really.” Rin leaned back casually in his seat. “Since technically, you _have_ seen him a couple of times before.” 

“I have?” Nagisa blinked curiously. “Who is it?”

“Ryuugazaki Rei.” When Nagisa only blinked back at him, Rin sighed. “You know—dark-haired dude with red glasses, wears grandfather clothes and always has his nose in a book?” 

“—Oh.” Now that Rin described him, Nagisa thought he did remember seeing Ryuugazaki with Rin a few times. It had always been from a distance, however, and they’d never even spoken a word to each other. For some reason, the guy had always disappeared somewhere before Rin could introduce them—weirdly like he was trying to avoid Nagisa or something. 

So why would the same Ryuugazaki ask for something like this?

“Ryuugazaki-kun wants to go on a date? With _me_?” Nagisa repeated, with a slight frown. “I always thought he didn’t like me, though—“

“Hey, _he’s_ the one who asked me to arrange it,” Rin replied, shrugging. “How should I know why he likes your annoying ass? You should go ask him that yourself.” He closely avoided the spoon Nagisa threw at him, the silverware landing precariously close to the edge of their table.

“But he’s _your_ friend, Rin-chan.” The frown was still on Nagisa’s face. “ _I_ don’t even know him that well—and how come he didn’t just ask me out on his own?” In response, Rin snorted.

“’Ask you out’? Please—he nearly faints when other people hit on _him._ If you ask me, just asking _me_ to ask you out _for_ him was a challenge.” The redhead sipped his own water, and placed it down with a grin. “And you’ll get a whole day to get to know him inside-out—you’re one persistent-ass social butterfly, you can do it.” 

“A blind date, though—” Nagisa fiddled with the empty sundae glass before him, eyes hesitant. “That sounds so forced.” He could feel Rin’s eyes on him, reading between the lines. 

“Listen, kid—I know you’d rather have one of those fairy tale romance movie encounters, like with the last four human disasters you dated—”

“They weren’t _all_ human disasters,” Nagisa said defensively. “Just one of them.” Rin rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Either way, you’ve been single for half a year now—which is saying a lot for you, considering that you thrive on human relationships. And believe it or not, not everyone’s lucky enough to just run into the love of their life in the library or some café on a rainy day. That’s why they put themselves out there, make it clear that they want to land themselves someone even if they have to force it a bit.” Seeing that there was no change in Nagisa’s expression, Rin’s face softened slightly. 

“Look, I know your romantic life’s been through some shit,” he began again. “Considering how all those relationships started out, I know even an opening with fireworks and the whole deal can be scary. But I’m not saying you have to marry the guy—just try meeting him once, and if you don’t like him, you can dump him. Rei’ll probably cry in bed at night, but he’s a good kid. He’ll understand.” He grinned coaxingly at Nagisa, flashing his sharp teeth. “Do me the favor and just think of it as a casual date. What do you say?”

“Geez—” The frown on Nagisa’s face shrunk into a pout. “Just because you’re not the one going on the date…” Rin laughed.

“I promise, at the least, you’re not going on a date with some human disaster—just a disaster at flirting.” He grinned. “Who knows, you might even like the nerd back. Life’s full of surprises.”

 

* * *

 

Life was indeed full of surprises, if someone like Ryuugazaki had asked him out. That was what Nagisa thought, as their ‘blind’ date progressed.

After meeting at the subway station, they started out their date at a nearby restaurant—a family diner Nagisa was familiar with that served good pizza. He ordered a little less than what he usually did—just six dishes instead of his usual eight—and though Ryuugazaki was noticeably taken aback, he didn’t comment on his choice of orders. 

At first they talked back and forth at a reasonable pace—Ryuugazaki was just a little awkward about it, but he was polite and fairly conversational. He asked Nagisa about basic, run-of-the-mill things like what his hobbies were and what he was majoring in at college. It was easy enough for Nagisa to return those questions, and when he did, he found out that Ryuugazaki’s interests lay mainly in the sciences. It was when he was talking about chemistry and math and various theories that Ryuugazaki seemed the most animated and comfortable—until he noticed the lost look on Nagisa’s face, by then which he’d abruptly change the subject, surprisingly to topics that fell into the blond’s own interests (like penguins and European history). 

It wasn’t that Nagisa found Ryuugazaki’s conversation boring (just that he didn’t understand some of the things the brunet was talking about, since the sciences weren’t exactly his forte), but the more he found out about the guy, the more he realized how little they seemed to have in common. During the awkward silences that came later on, Nagisa stared into the glass of strawberry ade he was sipping out of and wondered, again, just what Ryuugazaki liked about him in the first place. 

He might have asked, too, if Ryuugazaki hadn’t seemed so nervous and tense. 

By the time they were out of the restaurant, Nagisa started to think that the whole date might be a setup by Rin. He knew plenty about Nagisa’s love life—though they’d reunited during their sophomore year in college, they had been out for their fair share of drinks. And Nagisa tended to talk even more than usual when he was drunk. He was sure he’d even broken down a few times in front of Rin, on the nights when he really swam in alcohol. 

Maybe Rin had asked his good friend Ryuugazaki to go on a date with Nagisa, and everything about Ryuugazaki liking him was a cover to cheer the blond up by making him feel desired, or something along those lines. And even though their interests seemed pretty different, Ryuugazaki was easy on the eyes, in a nerdy but handsome sort of way—and Rin knew well how much Nagisa was attracted to good looks. 

_Damn you Rin-chan,_ he thought, distracted by the way Ryuugazaki’s biceps were currently flexing under his polo shirt. Torn between saving himself from Rin’s trap and just forgetting everything to admire Ryuugazaki’s assets, Nagisa almost missed the look of confusion on the man’s face.

“That’s strange—it was supposed to be open today—” Ryuugazaki was murmuring. “I _know_ I researched it properly—” Now that Nagisa was paying attention, he found that they were standing before a pair of traditional Japanese gates. The sign above the doors read ‘Takaoka Flower Garden’ in kanji—and the smaller sign hanging on the doors read ‘Closed’. “Are they opening late today? But it can’t be—” The taller man took out his phone and nervously looked something up. “AH!!” 

“Ryuugazaki-kun?” Stepping forward, Nagisa tapped a horrified Ryuugazaki on the shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Th-the homepage for this garden—” A look of misery painted itself across Ryuugazaki’s face. “I checked the old one instead of the new one, by accident—it seems like today is their annual holiday…!” His shoulders slumped, as if all the positive energy had been sucked out of him.

“Oh…” Feeling sorry for him, Nagisa smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry—you really must’ve wanted to see this garden, huh?” 

“No—I’m the one who should be sorry, Hazuki-san!” Soon, Nagisa was faced with the crown of Ryuugazaki's hair again, the man bowing in apology. "I was the one who invited you out today, yet something like this happened due to my carelessness—this isn't beautiful at all! I don't deserve to be in your company, I'm so sorry—" His voice sounded so sincere that Nagisa wasn’t sure what to suspect anymore.

"—Did you really, though?" The question slipped out without him meaning for it. “Rin-chan didn’t ask you to?” 

“—Huh?” Ryuugazaki raised his head, looking confused. “What do you mean?” Nagisa hesitated.

“I mean, I’ve been thinking about it—and I guess I just don’t get it.” He looked up at Ryuugazaki doubtfully. “We’ve never even talked to each other before today, Ryuugazaki-kun—and the few times we did see each other, it always seemed like you were trying to avoid me. That’s why today seems kind of sudden for me.” With these words, Ryuugazaki’s cheeks flushed pink.

“Th-that’s—” he stammered, voice flustered. “That was because—” Nagisa didn’t miss the way his violet eyes grew shifty. Any anticipation he had left for the day seemed to fade, and he smiled resignedly.

“So it was Rin-chan’s setup, after all. I should have realized it earlier, huh?” As Rei’s head perked up, Nagisa went on. “It did seem a little strange—you seem like a nice guy, Ryuugazaki-kun, but it doesn’t look like we have much in common. It’s bothersome to match yourself to my pace, isn’t it?” The blond scratched his head sheepishly. “I don’t know what Rin-chan said to convince you, but it’s okay. You don’t have to pretend that you like me. We can just split up here and—”

 _“I’m not pretending!”_ Nagisa’s eyes widened—it startled him, hearing Ryuugazaki raise his voice. The man’s face was now tomato red, but his expression was firm. 

“You misunderstand me, Hazuki-san. I would never pretend about something like that, or invite someone on a date under such pretenses.” His flush quickly spread to his ears and his voice grew smaller. “I really _do_ feel an attraction to you. That is, romantically!” When Nagisa just stared back at him, Ryuugazaki fidgeted with his hands. “I know it must seem sudden in your perspective, and I’ve behaved misleadingly in your presence before, but—but the only reason I avoided you prior to today was because I was too nervous to introduce myself. Please forgive me for my rudeness!” He bowed sharply towards Nagisa once more, hair bouncing against his nape.

“I-it’s okay.” Feeling surprised and a little embarrassed himself, Nagisa murmured, “You don’t have to bow or anything…” He trailed off, unsure of what to say next.

“—I know you must be wondering how I came to hold such feelings,” Ryuugazaki continued, after straightening up. “It’s just like you mentioned, Hazuki-san—we haven’t even held a conversation before today, and we’ve hardly interacted otherwise. If Rin-san hadn’t given me a push, I might never have…” Catching his words, the brunet shook his head as if putting himself back on track. “As I was saying—even for me, it’s somewhat difficult to give a logical explanation. And—and if you wouldn’t mind, Hazuki-san, I actually wanted to tell you about it after we get to know each other better.” The taller man squeezed his eyes shut. “I know that sounds suspicious, but I do genuinely like you. Please believe me!” 

 

 _‘I do genuinely like you.’_

 

Somehow, amidst all the questions in Nagisa’s head, the words stuck out to him. And then, the blond realized that technically, this was Ryuugazaki’s first direct confession to him. His voice did sound truthful—and upon second thought, Ryuugazaki himself didn’t seem like the type of person to lie. 

“Well, well—how young!” 

Both Nagisa and Ryuugazaki were startled by the third voice. They turned to find an elderly foreigner couple, who apparently had seen their whole exchange from the smiles on their faces. 

“E-e—” Face flushing a dark red, Ryuugazaki jumped out of their way. _“Excuse me for blocking the door!”_ he squawked in English, his neck fairly red as well. The elderly man chuckled good-naturedly, replying in perfect Japanese.

“It’s all right, young man—the garden’s closed, anyhow. Looks like we’re the ones interrupting—carry on charming your date.” The couple left, the elderly woman aiming a cheery wink at them. Nagisa felt his own face warm, as they were left standing alone once more.

“—Um,” he chirped after a while, in an attempt to break the awkwardness. “Looks like they were on a date too, huh? Haha—” He immediately realized what he said probably added to the awkwardness—falling silent, his eyes dropped to his sneakers and the blush on his cheeks grew.

“—I’m sorry, Hazuki-san.” Wondering why Ryuugazaki was apologizing again, Nagisa looked up curiously. "We came all the way here, but the garden is closed—and the Seika Aquarium isn’t supposed to open until later in the afternoon—” 

“You got tickets to the aquarium too?” Nagisa asked with surprise. Ryuugazaki’s blush deepened, and he looked away shyly.

“I, er—I heard from Rin-san that you enjoy seeing the penguin exhibit,” he confessed, ears pink. “I—I really hoped that if you didn’t enjoy my company, you could at least enjoy the places. I probably have been boring you with my conversation, after all—” Blinking, Nagisa thought about it—the family restaurant they’d had lunch at served his favorite pizza. The aquarium that was mentioned had his favorite penguin exhibit. Then, the garden— 

“Did you come here for me, too?” he asked, gesturing towards the garden gates. Ryuugazaki made a choked noise with his throat, before reaching up to readjust his glasses.

“—It was because you look so happy when you pass by the local flower shop,” he admitted in a small voice. “And, well…the camellias here remind me of your eyes.” He ducked his head bashfully, the cowlicks in his blue hair bobbing slightly. 

A warm feeling settled in Nagisa’s chest, as he watched Ryuugazaki fidget.

“—Hey.” he found himself saying, stepping towards the brunet. “Those tickets—are they limited to today?” 

“Eh?” Ryuugazaki blinked. “Uh—no. They’re actually acceptable for any day of the month.” 

“Then let’s go another time,” Nagisa said, smiling with anticipation. “Today, we can just relax. We can walk around the park or something instead—I want to talk to you, get to know you better.” Before him, Ryuugazaki’s mouth fell open with surprise.

“But—are you sure you won’t be bored?” he asked, and Nagisa laughed.

“Of course not! We can even feed the ducks, if you want. I love walking in the park, and I love talking to people.” He bounced back, with a spring to his step that hadn’t been there before. “Don’t worry, Ryuugazaki-kun—you’re not boring. Yet,” he added teasingly, and Ryuugazaki inhaled nervously. “How would I know that, when I still don’t know a lot about you?” He flashed a mischievous grin at the taller man. “I’m Hazuki Nagisa! In the end, I always find a way to have a good time! You don’t need to worry about me getting bored at all.” 

For a moment, Ryuugazaki looked stunned. His violet eyes flickered with an emotion that Nagisa couldn’t read, before a shy smile finally worked its way across his face. Nagisa found himself thinking that it was cute, and the guy should definitely smile more, before being pulled back to reality by his voice.

 

“If it’s all right with you, then,” Ryuugazaki said sincerely, “I would like that very much, Hazuki-san.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it count as a blind date if they've seen the other person around before? (I wasn't sure what else to call it...)
> 
> As some of you can probably tell, I'm pretty fond of 'arranged' romantic situations. I wanted to write something different this time around but...maybe next time...(stares at pile of unfinished fic)
> 
> Next chapter will be the continuation of their date. Thank you for reading ^^


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the misunderstanding cleared up, Nagisa has a better time than he ever expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It really is nice to post my writing after a long absence and still get feedback. Thank you so much! :)
> 
> Second half of the date! Hope you enjoy reading~

“Hey, I’ve been wondering for a while now,” Nagisa began, stepping along the edge of the park sandbox. “Why are you calling me ‘Hazuki-san’?” 

“Huh?” Ryuugazaki blinked his eyes, which were trained on Nagisa’s feet in case he lost balance. “Well, it would hardly be polite to call you otherwise, as we aren’t very close yet—” The blond shrugged.

“Hey, I’ve been calling you Ryuugazaki- _kun_ the whole time...and don’t you _want_ to be closer?” he couldn’t help but add teasingly. Seeing the taller man’s face reddening was cute and somewhat endearing. 

“A-as strongly as I wish for that to happen,” he began, and Nagisa’s heart lightly skipped a beat. “I don’t wish to be rude, and there are our ages—”

“Huh?” Nagisa paused in his walking. “Aren’t you the same age as Rin-chan?” A beat of silence passed, before Ryuugazaki cleared his throat.

“Actually—I was a year below Rin-san in high school,” he explained, looking away. “And, well, since Rin-san took off a year in-between junior high and high school, as you might know—” After a moment of calculation, Nagisa’s eyes widened.

“No way—you’re _two years_ younger than Rin-chan?!” For some reason, Ryuugazaki looked embarrassed. 

“Technically, it’s just a year and some,” he replied, somewhat defensively. “Since Rin-san has an early birthday and—”

“Wait, that means you’re a year younger than me!” Nagisa clapped his hands in understanding. “So that’s why you’ve been speaking to me so politely!” 

“I—actually, I speak respectfully to everyone,” Ryuugazaki mumbled. “And, well, a year isn’t that big of an age difference, by modern standards—”

“That’s so _cute_ , though!” the blond continued, eyes sparkling. “And surprising—I totally thought you were the same age as Rin-chan. Or at least my age!” With this comment, Ryuugazaki’s stature seemed to puff up. “Since you’re younger than me anyways, I’ll just call you Rei-chan from now!” Immediately, Ryuugazaki deflated—then stumbled over.

“Wait— _‘Rei-chan’_?!” A wave of heat washed over his face. “Wh-why such a childish-sounding nickname?!” 

“Well, that’s your name, isn’t it? ‘Ryuugazaki Rei’,” Nagisa said matter-of-factly. “Thus, Rei-chan!”

“Wh—that’s not the point!” Ryuugazaki’s hand went up towards his glasses again, even though they seemed to be sitting perfectly fine. “T-to suddenly call someone by their first name like that—” He murmured something like _‘my heart isn’t prepared’_ but Nagisa didn’t catch it. 

“But saying ‘Ryuugazaki-kun’ every time is too long!” the blond replied. “You can just call me ‘Nagisa’ too!” Before him, Ryuugazaki—Rei-chan—seemed to be on the verge of exploding, from how red his face was. 

“I-Is that—um, is that really all right?” he stammered at last. “N-Nagisa-san—“

“Just ‘Nagisa’ is fine!” 

“Impossible!” Rei barked, making Nagisa giggle.

 

In the end, they settled on ‘Nagisa-kun’, and Nagisa one-sidedly settled on ‘Rei-chan’. By then, they’d reached the lake with the ducks. At first, Nagisa had looked over to the feed stand, but it had been closed for the day. So they ended up seated on the grass, licking soft cones from another stand and just watching the ducks swim.

“You really do like strawberry sweets, don’t you?” Rei commented, observing how Nagisa was devouring his pink ice cream. “Nagisa-kun,” he added somewhat shyly. Grinning, the blond nodded.

“I love everything with strawberries in it—strawberry shortcake, strawberry parfaits, strawberry milk, strawberry ice cream!” He slurped his soft cone loudly, and Rei wrinkled his nose but not in true disgust.

“You did seem rather enthusiastic about your strawberry parfait at the diner,” he remarked, taking a much quieter lick at his own ice cream. 

“What about you, Rei-chan? Is vanilla your favorite flavor?” 

“I—I wouldn’t really say I have a favorite flavor,” Rei replied. “I’m not very fond of sweets—but I suppose vanilla and green tea are tolerable—”

“No wonder Rin-chan called you a grandpa!” Nagisa teased, grinning cheekily. 

“Excuse me?!” Rei’s expression was indignant. “My preferences in food have nothing to do with my age, thank you!” Nagisa giggled at the pout on Rei’s face—despite what he’d just said, the man really was kind of cute. “I seriously ought to tell Rin-san off later—”

“Speaking of Rin-chan,” Nagisa interrupted, eyes curious. “You said you guys went to the same high school?” 

“Ah—yes,” Rei replied, readjusting his glasses. “We met during the athletics festival in my first year—we were on opposing teams, and I defeated him during the final leg of the relay race.” A smug grin formed on his face. “And after he taunted me, saying he could outrun a first year like myself—he was no match for my superior theory and practice in track!” 

Nagisa laughed, because of both the story and the way Rei was preening. He hadn’t known that Rei had such a confident side before—just catching glimpses of him from afar hadn’t been very informative, after all. “That sounds just like Rin-chan!” he commented, grinning. “Ever since we were little, he’s been competitive like that.” 

“From my own experiences, I’m also compelled to agree,” Rei replied loftily, shaking his head like the mother of a helpless son. Nagisa couldn’t help but wonder if Rei wasn’t just as competitive—his aura certainly seemed to hint at it. “Our friendship didn’t take off to a great start—but somewhere along the way, we were able to develop an amicable senpai-kouhai relationship. And now, we even go to the same college.” He leaned back on the grass, the muscles in his arm straining as he propped himself up on his palms. Catching himself staring, Nagisa blinked and turned his eyes back towards the lake.

“Say, Rei-chan—are you into any sports?” he asked casually. “I mean, you look pretty athletic and all.” 

“Oh—I do go jogging in the mornings,” Rei said, sounding pleased. “I keep a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle. And I was also on the track team in junior high and high school.” 

“Really?” Nagisa looked up with interest. “You must be pretty fast, then—no wonder you beat Rin-chan in your high school relay.” 

“Yes, well—” Nagisa could tell that Rei was starting to preen again, under an external attempt to stay modest. “I _did_ win a few competitions here and there.” That wasn’t too surprising—Nagisa _could_ see Rei as someone with more than a few trophies in his bedroom. “I mainly chose to join the track team for the beauty of the sport. Especially pole-vaulting—by using theories and calculations, you can achieve the perfect form, the truest essence of beauty—” As he went on, Nagisa hummed in response.

“That sounds kind of complicated.” His eyes wandered to the lake before him. “Say, do you swim, Rei-chan?” 

“Huh?” Rei’s glasses slipped slightly on his nose. “N-no, I don’t.” He reached up to adjust them somewhat nervously. “Wh-why do you ask?”

“I like swimming!” Nagisa replied cheerily. “Dad made me attend a swimming club when I was in elementary school. My specialty was the breast stroke! And that’s where I met Rin-chan and two of my best friends, too. Those days were so much fun!” In response, Rei’s nose wrinkled.

“But swimming is so _illogical_ ,” he commented. “Humans were evolved to walk on land, so why would they diverge from that path—it’s simply beyond my understanding!” 

“Really?” Nagisa slumped forward with surprise. “I’ve never heard anyone think like that before…”

“The way swimmers struggle against the water, gasping desperately for air—the sight isn’t beautiful at all!” continued Rei, shivering. 

“Hmm—but Haru-chan’s swimming is beautiful!” Nagisa declared, with a sparkle to his eye. 

“‘Haru-chan’?” repeated Rei. “And who may that be?” 

“My best friend!” The blond smiled. “He lives back in Iwatobi, our hometown—so does Mako-chan, my other best friend. I first met them at the swimming club I joined in elementary school, along with Rin-chan.” Here, Rei raised a brow.

“’He’? They’re male?” he asked. “But their names…” 

“They’re guys with girly names! Just like me and Rin-chan.” Nagisa’s eyes lit up. “Now that I think about it, you are too, Rei-chan! This is fate!” And then, he caught himself—almost as soon as he said the word, it formed a strange taste on Nagisa’s tongue. 

But before he had much time to mull over it, Rei was responding.

“Fate is an illogical notion—along with swimming. And my name is not _‘girly’_ , it is _unisex._ ” His eyes closed matter-of-factly, and Nagisa thought, _I thought so._ “—But if it’s with track, I’m certain I can show you a beautiful sight.” The blond saw Rei open one eye sheepishly, as he cleared his throat. “Although I wouldn’t know how I would compare to this ‘Haru-chan’-san.” For a moment, Nagisa just stared at Rei, before bursting into giggles.

“Wh—hey, don’t laugh! I’m being serious here!” Eventually, the blond obeyed, eyes smiling at his company.

“Rei-chan’s competitive too, after all!” he teased, eyes twinkling. “And you were the one tutting at Rin-chan earlier!” The flush on Rei’s face darkened.

“Wha—my level hardly reaches _Rin-san’s!_ ” he protested, ears turning pink again. 

“But you’re being competitive against Haru-chan, and you’ve never even met him!” Nagisa pointed out gleefully. “You guys aren’t even affiliated with the same sport!”

“That’s—!” Rei stopped, averting his eyes. “That’s because…” he mumbled, hands reaching for his glasses again. “You called your friend beautiful, even though he participates in such an illogical sport—and at the least, I don’t want to lose to someone like that. It’s only natural.” His voice grew smaller as he attempted to cover his face, and Nagisa stared. 

Not for the first time, the thought that Rei was cute passed through his mind. He let loose another giggle, breaking the silence.

“Then I’ll look forward to seeing Rei-chan run sometime!” he said cheerily, chest feeling warm again. “And as for swimming—” He batted his long lashes at Rei, twice. “If I skinny-dip in that lake right now, would you think it’s beautiful?” Almost immediately, Rei’s face was on fire, and Nagisa delighted in the incoherent stutters that returned. After a while, the blond took pity on him and spoke up.

“You’re so funny, Rei-chan. I never would’ve guessed you were like this before today!” Nagisa smiled warmly at Rei. “You look like you’re feeling more comfortable now, than back at the diner. I’m glad!” 

“—Oh—” Rei stilled, looking at Nagisa with surprise. “You—um—did I look that uncomfortable?” he asked, eyes shifting in embarrassment.

“A little,” Nagisa admitted, remembering the unnatural topic changes and awkward silences. “That’s partly why I thought Rin-chan asked you to come today—you didn’t really seem like you were enjoying yourself that much.” 

“I—I was nervous,” Rei admitted shyly. “And I was worried that you weren’t enjoying yourself.” 

“Aw—we were worrying about the same thing, weren’t we?” Nagisa chirped, grinning. “Well, we’ve still got the rest of the day ahead of us—what do you want to do next?” He put a thoughtful finger on his cheek. “Maybe we should go to the new shopping center that just opened? Or we could catch a movie or something—but then we wouldn’t be able to talk much, I guess—” He didn’t notice Rei observing him with thought-filled eyes.

“You’re more of a thoughtful person than I expected.” His voice sounded a little quiet and musing, almost as if he was talking to himself. Nagisa paused, meeting the taller man’s gaze—the violet hue of his irises seemed deeper than usual. When Rei didn’t avert his eyes, the blond started to feel flustered and looked away first. It was then that Rei seemed to snap out of his thoughts—what he’d just said sunk in, and he jumped off the grass in a rush to apologize. “I—I mean, I don’t mean that in a bad way! Just—I don’t know why I said that, I’m sorry!” he rambled, face heating up all over again. 

“It’s all right!” Nagisa replied, laughing despite his surprise. “I mean, you didn’t mean any harm, right? Since it’s a compliment.” In his head, he wondered what Rei meant by those words. Before him, Rei nodded vigorously in confirmation.

“Please don’t pay it any mind!” he urged the blond, looking embarrassed. “Anyways—why don’t we walk somewhere? The shopping center sounds acceptable!” 

“Sure!” Nagisa chirped, maybe a little too loudly. He made a movement to stand, and a hand extended out towards him. 

“Um—my legs felt somewhat paralyzed when I got up, so—” Rei explained, face rosy. Understanding, Nagisa nodded.

“Thanks, Rei-chan!” He placed his smaller hand on Rei’s palm, the skin calloused and just a little sweaty but not entirely unpleasant. Nagisa noticed that Rei had nicely clipped fingernails and slim, long fingers. They were a nice tan, just like the rest of his body. 

He didn’t feel any sparks or fireworks. But he found himself thinking that he liked Rei’s hands. Even though he only gripped one of them for a few seconds, they seemed to hold a certain guiding strength, not entirely limited to a physical sense. 

“Ahem. Shall we go then, Nagisa-kun?” Snapping out of his thoughts, Nagisa nodded.

“Yeah!” He released Rei’s hand, and they made their way away from the lake.

 

* * *

 

They spent the rest of their day wandering the area around the new shopping center. Nagisa enthusiastically dragged Rei into sweets shops and clothing shops and weird, random shops that sold odd and seemingly useless merchandise. Rei had no idea what Nagisa planned to do with fake plastic bacon and a lighter in the shape of a frog’s skeleton, when Nagisa had clarified that he didn’t smoke. But at least he hadn’t actually purchased the 100-yen tongue tattoos that were stacked up by the store front. Just looking at them gave Rei shivers.

Once, they also went into a bookstore, where Nagisa checked the manga section for the latest releases before trotting to the science section to find Rei. He’d seemed so immersed in a physics book that Nagisa almost felt bad for tugging his sleeve to get his attention. But Rei didn’t seem to mind too much, returning the book to the shelf and following Nagisa out.

Towards the end of their outing, they even stopped by the arcade at Nagisa’s request. By the time he’d beat Rei at every single arcade game they played, the blond’s stomach hurt from laughing with every dorky scream of despair from Rei. Although his voice was higher than Rei’s at default, Nagisa doubted he’d ever be able to match the high pitch of those screams.

“What should we play next, Rei-chan?” he asked cheerfully, dragging a soulless-looking Rei behind him. His eyes wandered around the game center and landed on the area with crane machines. One of them in particular caught his attention—a glass box of stuffed animals, and among them, a cluster of stuffed penguin toys. They were the same as the one Nagisa had won from his convenience store raffle. “So they had those here too, huh?” he murmured to himself. 

“Nagisa-kun?” Rei peered over Nagisa’s shoulder at the glass box. “Did you want to try the crane games?” 

“Mm—well, I hardly ever win those. But I guess I can try a few times!” Nagisa dug into his pocket for his wallet, opening it—and immediately closed it again. “—Buut I’m kinda broke!” he finished, with a sheepish grin. Rei raised a brow.

“Do you have enough money to get home?” he asked, and Nagisa nodded.

“My train pass should still be fine!” he chirped. “I only have fifty yen in my wallet though.” 

“Are you an impulsive schoolboy on an allowance?” Rei asked incredulously.

“Hey, that’s not fair—I spent almost all my money on that frog lighter!” Nagisa retorted, with a pout.

“And whose fault is that?” Sighing, Rei stepped past Nagisa. “Well, nothing’s preventing _me_ from playing, so I suppose I’ll try my hand at it.” 

“Huh—Rei-chan has something he wants?” At Nagisa’s question, Rei aimed a sheepish look at him over his shoulder.

“You’ll see.” Facing forward, the brunet rolled his sleeves up determinedly. “With the right calculations and angles, snagging a prize should be a piece of cake!” He stepped up to the same glass box Nagisa had been looking at and inserted a 100-yen coin with gusto. 

“That’s what you said for the last fifteen games,” Nagisa commented doubtfully, trailing behind him.

“Ryuugazaki Rei, stepping up to the pit!” Rei was announcing, apparently letting Nagisa’s words fly by. As the crane shifted into position, the brunet’s eyes flashed dramatically. “Beauty—Butterfly—Swing!” In a series of arm motions, he maneuvered the joystick at various calculated angles. It was almost like he was a baton twirler instead, and Nagisa would’ve laughed if he wasn’t entranced by the way Rei’s arm muscles moved with the motions. A certain Matsuoka would have been very happy to see what he was seeing, Nagisa thought, but he would have been lying if he’d said he didn’t understand her feelings. He was eventually pulled back to earth by Rei’s trademark scream, and watched with amused sympathy as he threw his head back.

 _“Why?!_ And I was so _close_ , too!!” he wailed with despair. Grinning, Nagisa patted him on the arm.

“There, there, Rei-chan~!”

“Don’t _‘there there’_ me!” That seemed to snap Rei out of his despair. “No matter—in science, the process of repetition is crucial! I’ll simply have to recalculate!” Not minding Nagisa’s laughter at his words, Rei stepped up to the joystick again. “Beauty Butterfly Swing! The Second!” 

Four Beauty Butterfly Swings and ten minutes of staring at Rei's arm later, Nagisa heard a triumphant shout from his left.

"Yes! _Finally!!"_ He looked up to see Rei push his glasses up with flair, the glass shining in their frames. "I _knew_ my perfect calculations couldn't go wrong!!" Deciding not to point out that they had, four times in a row, Nagisa indulged Rei with some congratulatory applause.

"Which toy did you win, Rei-chan?" he asked curiously, kneeling next to the prize flap even as he spoke. Truth be told, he had been paying more attention to Rei's biceps than the crane, so he didn't see what prize Rei had aimed for. 

His hand met with something round and soft—when he pulled it out, Nagisa was surprised to see one of the stuffed penguins staring back at him. Wide-eyed, the blond stared up at Rei, who was blushing and fiddling with his glasses. "Rei-chan, this is..."

"I, I noticed you looking at it a few minutes ago," Rei began. “So I—”

"I didn't know you liked penguins too, Rei-chan!" exclaimed Nagisa, throwing Rei off his balance. "Actually, I never would've even thought you were into stuffed animals at all! Why didn't you say so earlier?" Standing up, he cheerfully plopped the toy into a stunned Rei's arms. "I have the same exact one at home that I won from the convenience store raffle! What a coincidence, huh?"

"Wait—what?” Realizing what was going on, Rei jumped with exasperation. “You’re _wrong!_ I snagged that with the intention of giving it to _you!”_ A stretch of silence followed his outburst, and Nagisa’s eyes rounded with realization. 

“—I saw you looking at them earlier,” Rei said finally, cheeks pink. “I thought you were staring because you wanted one of them—I didn’t know you already had one—” He fumbled with his glasses some more, the penguin toy stuck awkwardly between his arm and his side.

 _Oh._ Eyes still round, Nagisa continued to stare, unintentionally making Rei nervous. _So that’s why he played the crane game. Because I didn’t have any money left, and he wanted to treat me._ He noticed the blush on Rei’s face growing darker, as he started to fumble with his words. _That’s right—I was having so much fun that I almost forgot—_

 

_This is a date. And Rei-chan likes me._

 

_Rei-chan likes me._

 

Aside from feeling a little foolish, Nagisa began to feel self-conscious.

 

“Um—you know, you don’t have to accept it, if you don’t want it,” Rei was saying, and Nagisa was pulled back to earth. “I mean, since you already have the same one, I understand if you wouldn’t want ano—”

“I do!” The words left Nagisa’s mouth before he knew it. Rei’s eyes widened as the blond stepped forward earnestly. “There’s no way I wouldn’t want a stuffed penguin, I can never have too many! And besides, Rei-chan got it for me!” His arms shot forward towards Rei. “Please give it to me!” 

“Nagisa-kun…” Rei stared at Nagisa with surprise. Then, he stepped forward, looking a little tentative and just as shy as Nagisa felt. His hands gently plopped the penguin into the blond’s arms. The fur felt soft against Nagisa’s skin, and warm from being held by Rei. 

“Thank you,” Nagisa said sincerely, his eyes on the penguin and his face warm. “Sorry for misunderstanding.” 

“N-no—” A small, bashful smile formed on Rei’s face. “It’s all right.” It was then that a beeping sound came from his back pocket. 

“Ah—excuse me.” Taking his purple cellphone out of his pocket, Rei flipped it open. As soon as he saw the contents, his face split into surprise. _“Ah!!”_

“What is it, Rei-chan?” 

“I promised to meet my parents for dinner today, and I completely forgot!” Rei exclaimed, closing his phone and looking at his watch. “Thankfully, I’m not late—but I should be on my way now.” 

“Oh—” Nagisa caught a glimpse of Rei’s watch—it was just a little before dinnertime. They’d met for an early lunch in the late morning—blinking, he realized how quickly all that time had passed. “I guess I should head back too.” He found himself feeling a little disappointed.

“We should head for the subway station.” Rei’s voice sounded somewhat disappointed as well. Or maybe it was Nagisa’s imagination. “Let’s, um—let’s be on our way, then.” 

“Yeah.”

 

When they exited the arcade, the sky was orange and beginning to darken. It was around the time when people got off from work, so the streets were fairly crowded. 

They made their way through the pedestrians, Nagisa trailing behind Rei and staring up at his back. His tousled blue hair looked almost black under the evening sun, the dark locks gathering in a slope at the nape of his neck. As he walked, they bounced lightly against his tan skin, bathed by the warm evening glow. Nagisa felt tempted to touch them—but at the same time, his hand didn’t reach out as quite as easily as it usually did towards people. 

They stopped at an intersection, waiting to cross in silence. Nagisa was uncharacteristically quiet, his mind occupied with the day’s events. When the light changed and the crowd moved forward, he absentmindedly moved forward with it. He didn’t realize he was crossing in the wrong direction until a voice called his name.

“—gisa-kun—Nagisa-kun!” A hand grabbed him by the wrist, snapping him out of his trance. He turned, mouth falling open in a slight ‘o’ as he saw Rei looking down at him with puzzled eyes. “The station is that way—did you already forget the directions?” 

“Huh?” The blond blinked, eyes traveling to the hand around his wrist. “Oh, um—I kinda got swept up by the crowd!” he chirped, grinning sheepishly. Rei frowned slightly, violet eyes appraising the blond.

“You need to be more careful,” he chided eventually. His hand released Nagisa’s wrist. “Come on.” He led the way, the blond trailing behind him obediently. 

They rode the train together until they got off a transfer point. The apartment Nagisa shared with a roommate was near the same line as Rei’s apartment, but they were located in opposite directions from their current station. As they waited for their respective trains, Nagisa was still deep in thought, brows pinched together as an indicator.

He’d enjoyed himself today, far more than he had expected to. And in the process, he’d almost forgotten why he was out with Rei in the first place. The thought made Nagisa feel guilty—from the beginning, Rei had made it clear that he was romantically interested in him. Today had originally supposed to be _that_ kind of date, but in the end it’d turned out more like an outing between friends. On top of that, the blond had completely forgotten to think about his answer, being so caught up in having fun himself. _Did Rei-chan even have fun?_ he wondered, peering at Rei’s profile from the corner of his eye. 

What would he have felt like, being in Rei’s shoes in a situation like this? He was sure he would’ve felt more than a little nervous, especially since there was the possibility that he would get rejected. Just thinking about his own feelings would’ve been a handful—but at the same time, Rei had also thought about _Nagisa’s_ feelings and whether he’d enjoy himself. Treating him to lunch, the pre-prepared conversation topics, the tickets to nice places, the penguin toy currently nestled in Nagisa’s arm—and it wasn’t just that. It was all the little things too—Rei keeping the corner of his eyes on the road when they were walking near cars, Rei waiting for Nagisa patiently inside every knick-knack shop he ran into, Rei extending a hand to help him up, even though he hadn’t been asked to. 

Throughout the day Nagisa had discovered many things that Rei could be—proud, confident, shy, funny, and a complete dork—but Rei was also a considerate person. Someone who definitely deserved a serious, well-thought-out answer to his confession. 

Just hours earlier, Nagisa had been sure he was going to reject him. But now—now, he didn’t know what to do. 

“Nagisa-kun?” The blond gave a start, upon hearing Rei’s voice. “You look a little spaced out—are you all right?” 

“Huh? Oh! I’m fine!” Nagisa replied, smiling quickly. “Just a little hungry, is all!” 

“Is that so?” Rei smiled back in understanding. “We were out for a fair portion of the day—and with all the walking we did, you must be pretty tired.” Nagisa shook his head.

“I don’t really feel like that—I had a great time today!” he said sincerely. In response, Rei’s smile changed into a pleased one, and for a moment Nagisa felt happy. Then, he remembered.

“What about Rei-chan?” he asked, voice growing a little smaller. “Was—was today okay for you?” Rei paused, looking surprised at the question.

“Of course! It was more than ‘okay’—why would you think otherwise?” Nagisa bit his lip. 

“It’s just—today was technically supposed to be a date, right?” His cheeks grew a little warm as he continued. “I was just thinking that maybe I dragged you around at my pace too much. ‘Cause I kind of lose sight of other things when I’m having fun, see? So, yeah…” He trailed off, not knowing what more to say. 

A burst of laughter from his left surprised him. Nagisa whirled to see Rei covering his mouth with his hand, violet eyes crinkled at the corners. The blond was torn between feeling awed or offended at the sight—due to the situation, he eventually settled on an indignant pout.

“Hey, I’m being serious here—don’t laugh!” He stomped his heel a few times, and Rei’s laughter slowly faded into a smile.

“But Nagisa-kun, being so worrisome doesn’t suit you. It’s comically out of character!” He laughed again, and eventually, Nagisa’s pout faded into a conflicted expression. He knew either of their trains could arrive soon, and his palms started to grow sweaty.

 _Come on,_ his brain seemed to tell him. _He drew up the courage to confess to you—you owe him a reply._ But what was he going to tell Rei? Nagisa’s throat felt tight, as he spoke up in a hesitant voice.

“Rei-chan.” When Rei stopped laughing, Nagisa took a deep breath. “About today—I—”

“I had fun too, Nagisa-kun.” The blond looked up—Rei’s eyes glowed a warm, sincere violet. “It’s true that the day didn’t go as I planned it. But more than anything, talking to you like this, getting to spend time with you—it made me happy.” Rei smiled at a stunned Nagisa.

 

“I’m glad that you agreed to come today, Nagisa-kun. Thank you.”

 

Not long afterwards, an announcement rang from the subway intercom.

 

 _[“The train bound for OOO Station is now approaching.”]_ Around them, passengers shuffled their feet in the direction of the tracks. _[“Passengers, please wait behind the yellow line. The train is approaching from the previous station—“]_

 

“Oh—it looks like your train is coming in, Nagisa-kun.” 

“…Yeah.” Nagisa’s eyes fell towards the ground. “It looks like it.” Rei’s eyes softened.

“I really did enjoy myself today.” Nagisa could see the brunet’s sneakered feet shifting. “And—” Rei paused, as if having something else to say. 

“—and I guess I’ll see you around,” he finished, eventually. Something in Nagisa made his stomach drop slightly, and he pulled a smile on his face.

“Yeah. I’ll see you around too, Rei-chan.” Beside them, the train rushed into the platform, windows and faces passing by in a flash. 

It only occurred to Nagisa, now as the cars slowly grounded to a halt, that Rei might not have expected a response at all in the first place. Or maybe it was just that Nagisa made his response too clear at the beginning. 

_‘I’ll see you around.’_ His feet slowly stepped onto the train, his body turning to face the platform, where Rei was raising a friendly hand in goodbye. There was no promise in these words, nothing that bound Nagisa to do anything. 

Their day wasn’t a page out of a fairy tale, or a romance novel. There was no fateful encounter, no heart-stopping stares or fireworks, no suave, picture-perfect declarations of love. Instead, there had been a blind date arranged by a friend—warm and calloused hands, slightly uncomfortable and shy glances exchanged here and there, and an awkward confession from someone Nagisa never would’ve expected to receive one from. There had been walks and subway rides, ice cream cones and arcade games, conversations and laughter. Someone who made Nagisa feel surprisingly comfortable as he shared all those things, despite it being the first time they really met.

 

With a small jolt, Nagisa realized that he hadn’t laughed so much in a day, in months. Maybe even years.

 

 _[‘The doors are now closing.’]_ His arm squeezed against the stuffed penguin, as he took a deep breath.

 

“Rei-chan!”

 

His feet hit the platform just as the doors closed behind him. The person before him stared, violet eyes wide and mouth fallen open, as the train started to creak out of the station. Raising his head, Nagisa met Rei’s eyes with all the earnestness he could muster.

“Next week—let’s meet again!” Something in his chest fluttered with these words. When Rei only gawked at him in response, Nagisa flushed. “I mean—it doesn’t have to be a date, if you don’t want that! We can start out as friends, for now!” The blond reached up with his free hand, toying with the fringe of his hair nervously. “I’ve only really known you for today, so I, um—I can’t really respond to your feelings right now—and I might end up just troubling you, but—” Nagisa’s voice was embarrassed but firm. “I don’t want things to end just after today!”

 

When Rei only stared back at him in silence, the smaller man started to grow worried. 

“—Rei-chan?” Nagisa’s gaze turned timid. “Did you not want—”

“I do.” Before him, Rei’s lips finally moved. Violet eyes shone as he smiled the most happily that day, and the breath caught in Nagisa’s throat. “I would actually like that very much, Nagisa-kun.”

 

And then, finally, the disappointment was gone. The small joy in Nagisa’s chest danced, and he couldn’t help but think that it had been worth missing the train for.

 

* * *

 

When he lay in bed that night, the arrival of a message made his pink phone buzz. The name on the screen read ‘Ryuugazaki Rei-chan’, and Nagisa smiled. Just before Rei caught his train, they’d managed to exchange phone numbers and email addresses. 

_{Good evening, Nagisa-kun. I hope you made it home safely. First of all—}_ Nagisa squinted with disbelief. _{—it occurred to me that what you did at the subway station was quite dangerous. Please refrain from jumping through closing train doors from now on. You could have gotten yourself hurt.}_ The blond rolled his eyes, but in a good-natured way. He continued to read the rest. _{Second of all, I’m glad you had a good time today. Thank you for coming.}_

“So polite, Rei-chan,” Nagisa murmured to himself, but with a smile on his face. Just then, a second text message arrived.

 

_{I look forward to seeing you again next Friday. Good night.}_

 

The smile on Nagisa’s face widened with anticipation. For a while, he stared at the message, before he started to type a reply.

 

_{me too! thanks for inviting me out today. good night, rei-chan! ^^}_

 

He hit ‘send’ and closed his phone, setting it by his pillow. His eyes wandered to the two matching penguin toys on his dresser, before he closed his eyes with a smile on his face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~-mentally high-fives Rei-~~
> 
> Tell me what you thought here or on [Tumblr](http://point0k.tumblr.com/) :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A second date brings both Rei and Nagisa tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not that great at summaries so...hope you enjoy!

“Soooo?” 

 

A week later on Wednesday, Nagisa was sitting across from Rin at the corner café. The redhead was wearing a smug grin, eyes trained expectantly on his friend. 

“So what, Rin-chan?” Nagisa asked nonchalantly, twirling the straw in his soda with his hand. The warmth in his cheeks betrayed his tone, however, and Rin’s smirk deepened.

“How was the lovely date on Sunday, Hazuki-san?” he drawled, leaning back in his chair. “I remember when I texted you the day after, you said you’d tell me at lunch today. Was it soo great that you couldn’t sum it up in a text?” 

“Oh, shut up, Rin-chan,” Nagisa retorted at last, the ice cubes in his glass clinking together. Then, “Did you hear something from Rei-chan?” he added, trying not to sound too interested.

“Oh, him?” Rin checked his fingernails casually. “Nah, not much, really—” With amusement, he noted the way Nagisa’s shoulders drooped a little, before continuing. “—‘cause he was so over the moon that he forgot how to talk, apparently.” It was entertaining how quickly Nagisa’s face brightened, and Rin decided it was time for some serious prying. “You know, because _somebody_ somewhere asked him out on a second date, if my memory’s not wrong.” 

“It—!” The blond’s head snapped up, cheeks growing hotter. “It’s not _that_ kind of a date! Not—not specifically,” he said stubbornly, looking down at his glass. “Just—Rei-chan’s a nice guy, and interesting. So I just—thought that we could meet again.” His fingers continued to fiddle with his straw. “It’s not like I accepted his confession or anything…”

“But you didn’t reject him either?” Rin asked, raising a brow, and Nagisa fell silent. The redhead gave a low whistle. “What a player of hearts.” 

“I’m not!” The blond rose in his chair in protest. “I’m really going to think it over seriously!” Laughing, Rin waved Nagisa down towards his chair.

“I know, I know—I’m kidding, Nagisa.” Resting his chin in one hand, he grinned. “It’s way better than Rei getting rejected right away—and I can’t say anything against you giving things a try and seeing how you feel. Don’t burst a vein or anything.” His tone took a teasing turn. “Dear old _’Rei-chan’_ doesn’t want you to sweat it either, probably.” Not wanting to rise to the bait, Nagisa grinned back.

“Yeah, ‘cause he’s a nice guy—I don’t know why he’s friends with _you_ , Rin-chan,” he simpered. 

“Hey!” Rin exclaimed, with a frown. “I was the one who introduced you two, brat!” 

“Only because Rei-chan asked you to!” Nagisa retorted. “Speaking of Rei-chan,” he continued casually, eyes vaguely sparkling. “He said you guys went to the same high school—what was he like back then?” He leaned forward with a look that said _‘tell me everything’_ , and Rin raised a brow.

“You’re not going to tell me about your date first?” He shrugged. “Whatever—I did get the gist of it from Rei.” He grinned breezily. “He was a total fucking nerd in high school, like you wouldn’t _believe_ —” As he went on with his story, Rin noted how closely Nagisa paid attention, eyes rapt with genuine interest. He couldn’t help but smirk at the blond’s cluelessness. Because even as Nagisa denied anything conclusive, Rin knew that asking for a second date meant something significant. 

 

In the end, Nagisa made Rin talk for almost an hour. He heard stories about Rei’s high school days, and then the conversation shifted to questions about Rei in general. It took a flick on the forehead from Rin to stop him from asking more.

“You’re seeing him again in two days, aren’t you?” As Nagisa rubbed his forehead gingerly, the redhead rolled his eyes. “Hear the rest of it from the guy himself—unless you just plan on staring at his ass all day long.”

“Rin-chan!” Rin guffawed at Nagisa’s semi-scandalized expression.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you this lively, brat.” He grinned at his friend, and Nagisa smiled down at his lap. 

“Maybe you’re right,” he admitted, thinking of Rei.

 

* * *

 

That night, Nagisa had just gotten out of the bath when his phone rang. The blond flipped it open to find a text from Rei.

 _{Good evening, Nagisa-kun. I realized we never decided on a place to meet. Where would you like to go on Friday?}_

“Hmm—where should we go, huh…” Nagisa set down his phone and began toweling his hair. Come to think of it, they hadn’t been able to visit the flower garden nor the aquarium last week. He was wondering if he should pick between the two, when his eyes landed on the comic book that was propped open on his bed. There was a picture of a lively mouse character on the over—he’d borrowed the book from his roommate and had been reading it before his shower. Then, he remembered something and perked up. Grabbing his phone, Nagisa texted Rei an answer.

 _{hey, rei-chan~ actually there’s this movie I’ve been wanting to see—}_ While he was typing, the blond glanced back at the book absently. Another idea popped into his head, and after he sent Rei his text, he cheerfully opened the search engine on his phone.

 

* * *

 

On the late morning of Friday, Nagisa found himself running out of the subway station, a little later than the time he’d agreed to meet Rei. He’d been checking himself out in front of the mirror and hadn’t realized that he was running late. He’d taken care to dress a bit nicer than he had on his last date, in a pale yellow knit shirt that settled nicely under his collarbones and light blue jeans, and tugged at his bangs a few times before leaving. The shirt was a bit wrinkled from his running, but Nagisa knew there was nothing he could do about it now. 

They had agreed to meet in one of the open squares close to the movie theater. After a few seconds of looking around, Nagisa spotted Rei standing near one of the fountains. The brunet was checking his watch, dressed in a purple plaid button-down that brought out his eyes and a pair of jeans darker than Nagisa’s. 

“Sorry, Rei-chan!” he called out, running towards Rei. The taller man looked up—his eyes spotted Nagisa, and they widened as the blond stopped before him, looking out of breath. “I was getting ready and I forgot to look at the time—”

“Th-that’s all right,” Rei stammered in response. “We’re still not late for the movie, though we ought to get going.” He cleared his throat. “You, um—you look nice, Nagisa-kun.” The compliment made Nagisa’s chest swell, and he beamed up at Rei.

“So do you, Rei-chan!” 

 

They made the way to the movie theater, lining up before the ticket box. Since it was a weekday morning, the line wasn’t very long. It was nice that neither of them had classes on Friday—usually, Nagisa would sleep in until one or two in the afternoon, so he was feeling just a little sleepy, but he didn’t mind that much. 

“Two tickets for ‘The Life of a Mouse: The Sequel’, please!” he chirped, stepping up to the ticket window before Rei could. When he opened his wallet to pay, Rei put a hand on his shoulder.

“Nagisa-kun, I can pay for my ticket—“ 

“It’s fine, Rei-chan!” the blond said, waving Rei away while setting down the whole amount. “Last time, you treated me to lunch and won me that penguin—since I invited you out today, I want to treat you.” Collecting the tickets, he tugged on Rei’s wrist with a smile. “Let’s go get some popcorn!

 

* * *

 

Two hours later, they emerged from the theater, Rei wiping tears from the corner of his eyes. 

 

“I—I can’t believe—Mikio sacrificed himself like that—!” he said in-between sniffs, voice choked. “He was so brave—!” Nagisa smiled sympathetically as he walked beside him. 

“There, there, Rei-chan~” He noticed how the skin under Rei’s eyes was rosy, no doubt from crying during the movie. Just about a week earlier, he never would have guessed that Rei could be this adorably emotional.

“I-if I’d known the movie was so beautiful, I’d have seen the prequel as well,” Rei was lamenting. “I misjudged the series from the title because it was so odd—”

“I have the first one at my place,” Nagisa chirped. “You should come over and watch it with me sometime!” When he only received silence in response, he looked up to see that Rei’s face was pink. _Oh. Wait._ His own cheeks warming, the blond quickly continued. “I mean, I don’t mean it in a weird way or anything! I have a roommate and everything, so, you know!” Internally, he cringed—he usually wasn’t so bad with words and could laugh off any awkward situation like a pro. Thankfully, he was saved when Rei cleared his throat.

“Why don’t we go have lunch now?” he suggested, with a slightly flustered smile. “I did some research and there’s an Italian restaurant in the area that I think you’d like, Nagisa-kun.” 

“You did research?” Nagisa asked in disbelief. “Again?” Rei coughed.

“Just the restaurant—since you were the one who suggested the movie—” Before he could finish, Nagisa started to giggle. 

“Rei-chan, you don’t need to have a plan for _everything_ —it’s just a date. We can be spontaneous!” Not that Nagisa hadn’t done some research himself, but that was a secret from Rei.

“I—it’s not that big of a deal!” Rei protested, embarrassed. “I did say ‘research’, but I simply used the search engine and cross-compared just a few places within the area—”

“Since I picked the movie, let’s eat where Rei-chan wants to eat at!” Nagisa insisted, tugging on Rei’s arm. “You said you like sushi, right? I think I saw a few shops over there!” 

 

In the end, they settled on a small revolving-sushi place within one of the smaller streets in the area. Nagisa proceeded to stuff himself with egg roll and eel sushi, plates piling high very quickly, while Rei ate at a much slower pace by his side. Again, when he turned down Rei’s offer to treat him and paid for his portion, Nagisa found his wallet almost empty. 

_Oh well—I won’t have to buy anything where we’re going next_ , he thought to himself, as they left the restaurant.

“That was more delicious than I expected! Wasn’t it, Rei-chan?” Rei nodded, looking satisfied himself.

“The taste of their _sakura-masu_ was exquisite,” he said. “I wouldn’t hesitate to return a second time.” Nagisa hummed. 

“There’s actually somewhere I wanted to go next, Rei-chan!” he chirped. “It’s a little ways from here, so we’ll have to walk for a few minutes though.” 

“That’s fine,” Rei replied amicably. “It’ll make good after-dining exercise.” 

 

They navigated their way through the back streets, the number of small shops decreasing and the number of trees and brick walls growing. Before Rei and Nagisa, a white cat nuzzled its fur against a lamppost before stretching out its back and jumping onto the fence. It had green eyes, and when he noticed this, Nagisa skipped forward with a nostalgic expression.

“A cat!” he exclaimed, standing on tip toe to watch it walk along the fence. “It looks just like the one Mako-chan used to look after!” 

“You mean your friend from the swimming club?” Rei asked, stepping forward as well. 

“Yeah—there was this stray cat that lived in Mako-chan’s neighborhood. He’d always jump up the stairs and nuzzle Mako-chan’s leg. Since Mako-chan’s got a huge soft-spot for cats, he’d always give it a pat in the morning,” Nagisa explained. “It’s been years since I’ve seen it now—how nostalgic!” 

“I see.” Rei’s smile grew nostalgic as well. “Rin-san also snuck an abandoned kitten into our high school once—he raised it in secret behind the chicken coops, and he’d also make me help back then.” He laughed, and Nagisa grinned.

“I heard from Rin-chan about your high school days. It seems like you guys have a lot of fun memories!” he teased. Immediately, Rei’s face paled in horror.

“Oh no—what did you hear from Rin-san?” he whispered, comically fearful.

“Mm—he mentioned that time when you had to carry an old lady princess-style and run, during the athletics festival!” Nagisa said cheerfully. “And that time you were a tree for your cultural festival play and you had to sing onstage—oh, and that time when you—”

“NOOO!!” The brunet’s wail of despair sent the cat running away. “None of those stories are beautiful at _all!!_ ” He buried his face in his palms. “Why did Rin-san have to tell you about them?!” 

“Well, actually—” Nagisa knit his hands behind his back. “I kind of wanted to hear about them, so…” Rei’s hands lowered, wide eyes traveling towards the smaller man.

“You, um—you asked Rin-san about my past?” he inquired, voice bashful. Nagisa nodded shyly. 

“I ate lunch with him on Wednesday, and well, he wanted to know how our date went the other day.” He shuffled his feet slightly. “After that, he told me a bit about what you were like in high school.” 

“I—I see.” Rei sounded embarrassed, and a little happy, if Nagisa wasn’t imagining it. “B-but!! He probably over-exaggerated everything, so please don’t put that much faith in his stories—”

“Rin-chan said he saw you first this week,” Nagisa found himself saying. He leaned up with a curious, anticipatory smile. “What did you tell him about our date?” Immediately, Rei flushed and looked away.

“I—I didn’t mention anything you don’t know,” he mumbled, eyes shifty. 

“Eeeh?” Nagisa pouted. “That’s not fair—tell me, Rei-chan~~!” He started nuzzling his head against Rei’s arm in earnest, nearly causing the man to jump out of his shoes.

“L-l-like I said, it wasn’t anything you don’t already know!” he barked, the flush traveling to his neck. “A-anyways, it’s hardly fair that you should know about my high school days, while I don’t know anything about yours!” 

“My days at Iwatobi High?” Nagisa bounced back. “I can tell you about them right now, if you want!” He placed a finger on his cheek. “Mm~ What should I start with first? Oh! The name—did you know my high school’s named after a penguin? That’s what caught my eye at first, see? And then, I found out that Mako-chan and Haru-chan were there, so I was super excited to get in! They were pretty shocked to see me on my first day of school—”

As they walked for the next ten minutes, Nagisa continued to tell Rei about his high school years. How he’d reunited with Makoto and Haru, their light-hearted chat sessions on the rooftop at lunch, and how they’d even formed a swim club—although it never got to compete locally because it never had enough members who could swim. 

“It was really more of a ‘play around in the pool after school’ club,” Nagisa was saying. “Haru-chan still seemed pretty happy about it, though, since we got to swim in the school pool in warm weather. Before Gou-chan joined, he even made a whole bunch of speedo Iwatobi-chan keychains to hand out to new recruits.” Remembering he had one on his phone, Nagisa fished it out and flashed the mascot in Rei’s face. “This one! It’s cute, isn’t it?” 

“So _this_ was your high school mascot?” Rei eyed the wooden figure with mild displeasure. "It’s not beautiful…”

“Eeeh? But it’s cute!” Nagisa insisted. “I have some more at home, if you want one!” 

“I appreciate the offer, but no thank you.” 

“Aww—but don’t you want to match with mine, Rei-chan?” At Nagisa’s playful question, Rei blushed and sputtered slightly.

“I—I don’t customarily attach accessories to my phone!” he stammered, pushing his glasses up, and Nagisa giggled. 

“That sounds just like Rei-chan.” He faced forward again, and for a while, they walked under a pleasant silence. The atmosphere of a nice pre-summer afternoon surrounded them, tree leaves rustling in the breeze and the sun shining onvsepia brick walls. 

From time to time, Nagisa stole a few glances up at Rei, whose eyes were absently positioned forward. Their violet irises were quietly vibrant under the afternoon sun. His parted bangs fluttered against the arch of his forehead, brushing against the frames of his red glasses. Nagisa’s eyes traveled down the arch of his nose, then down to the contours of his lightly closed lips. 

Once, Nagisa glanced up to see Rei staring at him. The taller man promptly reddened and averted his eyes—feeling somewhat embarrassed himself, Nagisa followed suit, cheeks rosy. 

There it was again—the same warm feeling from their last date. There were few people Nagisa felt at ease with during lulls in conversations—it was kind of amazing how Rei was already becoming one of them. At times like these, however, Nagisa couldn't help but feel self-conscious. It was something like feeling at ease, yet not at ease at the same time. 

 

All the same, it wasn't a bad feeling at all.

 

"Rei-chan," he called, and Rei turned. This time, when their eyes met, Nagisa held his gaze and Rei blushed slightly.

"Wh-what is it, Nagisa-kun?" He pushed up his glasses with his hand, and Nagisa hopped closer.

"I was just thinking," he said sincerely, "That I'm glad I asked you out today." A smile spread over his lips naturally, and Rei found himself staring.

“Th-that’s—” he stammered eventually. “I—I also feel the same—”

“Ah!” Nagisa’s sudden shout made Rei jump. The blond pointed past Rei’s shoulder, towards a small shop window in the distance. “It’s that place—we’re finally here!” He grabbed Rei by the wrist, tugging him forward. “Hurry, Rei-chan!” 

“Woah—wait, Nagisa-kun!”

 

* * *

 

“A…a used bookstore?”

 

The shop they had just entered smelled faintly of musty paper and cedar wood. Just enough sunlight entered through the window to cast a faint glow on the interior. Shelves and shelves of secondhand books lined the walls, punctuated with a framed watercolor painting here and there. There were also a few old but comfy-looking chairs around the store. Near the back, an old man with silver rimmed glasses sat at the counter, quietly reading his own book. Overall, the place had a quiet but homely atmosphere, just like the streets they’d just walked through. With wide eyes, Rei stared around the store, and then back at Nagisa.

“This is the place you wanted to visit?” Nagisa nodded, with a grin.

“I looked it up on the Internet—apparently, it’s a sanctuary for book lovers.” He tilted his head towards Rei. “I thought Rei-chan would like this place!” 

“Nagisa-kun…” Rei’s voice sounded touched, and the blond felt a little embarrassed. 

“C’mon—apparently, there’s even more books downstairs!” Laughing, he tugged Rei forward by the wrist, making his way towards the entrance to the basement floor.

 

Although the store front on the first floor had been small, the basement was much larger than either Nagisa or Rei had expected. Inside, there were just a few guests flipping through the weathered volumes. Nagisa noticed Rei’s eyes slowly lighting up, lips parting in awe as he stepped towards one of the shelves.

“No way—I’ve been looking for this author’s works for _ages,_ ” he was saying in a half-whisper. “I was starting to think I wouldn’t find any in Japan—” Nagisa chuckled under his breath as the brunet eagerly removed one of the volumes from the shelf.

For a while, he stood beside Rei, watched how his face shone as he looked through the rare books that he liked. Nagisa wondered if Rei knew how his expressions changed during the course of his reading—how his brows pinched together with thoughtfulness, how his eyes shone raptly with interest, how his mouth fell open softly when he was surprised, and how a small smile appeared on his face when he seemed to grasp an understanding of the contents. The blond himself had never been a bookworm, but he could tell how happy Rei was to be standing in this place at this time. Feeling glad that he’d brought Rei here, Nagisa continued to watch him until he felt his feet growing tired.

“Rei-chan.” With a tug on his sleeve, Nagisa got Rei’s attention. “I’m gonna go sit in that chair over there. Come get me if you need me.” 

“Ah—” An apologetic look flashed across Rei’s face. “I’m sorry—I should be able to pick out some books in a few minutes—” Nagisa shook his head with a smile.

“It’s fine, Rei-chan. We went out of our way to come here anyways—take all the time you need! I’ll just find something to read too—” He looked around the shelves and spotted a sign that read ‘Comics’. “Aha! There’s my home ground—have fun, Rei-chan!” With a cheery wink, the blond trotted to the opposite side of the basement. Rei watched him go with a fond smile, before his eyes returned to the volume in his hand.

Eventually, Nagisa pulled out a high teen novel that he vaguely remembered reading in high school. He tucked himself into the couch and started reading, peering occasionally over the pages in Rei’s direction. Because his seat was so comfy and he’d woken up earlier than usual, Nagisa started to feel sleepy. He’d reached the point in the novel where the heroine was breaking up with her previous boyfriend, when he dozed off completely. The novel slipped out of his hands and fell on his lap, and his head lolled to the side as he slept—the picture of peace.

 

* * *

 

It was an hour later when Rei happened to glimpse at his watch and gave a start. He hadn’t realized that time was passing by so fast—guiltily, he lowered his book and turned in Nagisa’s direction. When he saw the blond sleeping in his couch, Rei smiled affectionately. 

“I thought you were yawning at lunch,” he remarked to himself. Placing the book back on the shelf, Rei made his way to the couch. “Nagisa-kun,” he called gently, nearing the blond. “I’m sorry for making you wait—let’s head out now—” 

“—‘m all right—” Hearing him murmur something, Rei blinked.

“Nagisa-kun?” He stopped in front of the couch, eyes falling on Nagisa’s face and—

His eyes were closed, but Rei saw a tear falling down his cheek. 

“—don’t worry ‘bout me—” he murmured in his sleep. “I hope—you’ll find someone—who makes you happy—” The corners of Nagisa’s mouth twitched up in a pained smile, his fingers digging into the fabric of the chair. “So—long—” He murmured a name that Rei didn’t recognize, before falling silent. His legs shifted in his sleep, and the open book in his lap fell to the floor.

“—Ah—” Rei looked down at the book, then at Nagisa, then back down. Unsure of what to do, he eventually knelt down to pick up the volume. His eyes fell on the page it was opened to—they scanned the page briefly, before coming to a stop on one paragraph.

After reading the words, Rei quietly closed the book and set it aside. 

He then knelt before the couch at Nagisa’s feet—slowly, he carded his fingers through the blond’s hair, tips brushing against his cheekbones when they came down. Eventually, Nagisa’s form relaxed, and his fingers stopped digging into the couch. Only then did Rei lift his hand away. 

He thought of last winter, remembering penguin gloves and a bright pink winter coat. Pulling back, Rei stared at Nagisa’s sleeping face with concern and a kind of determination.

 

* * *

 

When he opened his eyes halfway and saw the orange glow around him, Nagisa was vaguely aware that he was dreaming. He also felt a faint ache in his chest, although he wasn’t sure why—but it was ebbing away slowly and surely. His eyes fluttered open and shut—they took in broad shoulders, fitted in a businessman’s collared shirt, and the faint smell of cologne. The back that was carrying him was warm, familiar and steady—in his sleepy state, Nagisa pressed his cheek against it, murmuring something that he couldn’t hear. The man who was carrying him laughed, and Nagisa could also hear a woman’s voice joining in. From his left, cool slender fingers began stroking through his hair—the sensation felt so comforting that Nagisa felt himself returning to sleep.

 

When Nagisa really woke up, the sky was the same color, but the shoulders that faced him were clothed in purple. His eyes blinked open slowly, taking in the short blue locks that bounced against his carrier’s nape. 

_Oh…it’s Rei-chan,_ he thought sleepily, closing his eyes again. The younger man’s back felt warm and steady—so did his arms, linked firmly under Nagisa’s legs. Thinking that it felt comfortable, the blond started to nod off once more—

 _Wait._ Nagisa’s eyes flew open, wide open. I’m on Rei-chan’s back... Now he was wide awake. _Why am I on Rei-chan’s back?_ His eyes darted around the scenery—it seemed they were walking down the same streets they’d passed to get to the bookshop. The bookshop—he’d sat down on the couch to read and—

 _Oh—I must’ve fallen asleep. And Rei-chan must’ve carried me out…_ Immediately, Nagisa felt embarrassed. He wondered why Rei hadn’t just waken him up—but before he could work out any possible answers, Rei paused in his steps. Nagisa’s heart jolted, thinking Rei knew he was awake now—but all the brunet did was kneel and hoist Nagisa up on his back. His large, steady hands repositioned themselves under Nagisa’s knees—the warmth from his palms began seeping through the denim as he resumed walking.

Face heating, Nagisa considered pretending to be asleep until—well, he wasn’t sure until when. But then, he realized that he’d have to get off sometime today. Deciding he might as well get the embarrassment over with, Nagisa stirred in his position and craned his head towards Rei’s ear.

“Rei-chan—I’m awake now.” Immediately, Rei’s steps jerked to a stop. Within an astonishingly short time, the taller man set him down and jumped away, stammering out profuse apologies.

“N-Nagisa-kun, I’m sorry!! I apologize if I’ve encroached any boundaries, I—you were just sleeping so peacefully that I didn’t want to wake you and—”

“I-it’s okay, Rei-chan!” Nagisa flashed him a shy smile. “Sorry for dozing off, I’m not really used to waking early on Fridays, so…but, um, I did sleep really well, thanks to you!” He wasn’t sure whether these last words made things better or worse, but before he could start worrying, Rei was apologizing again.

“I’m sorry, Nagisa-kun—I was so occupied with the books that I didn’t notice the time passing. I didn’t mean to leave you alone for so long—” He looked so adorably remorseful that Nagisa couldn’t help but reach up and pinch his cheeks. “—wai—Nagisha-kuhn!” Rei protested, and the blond laughed.

“It’s okay, Rei-chan! Half the time I was asleep anyways. And besides, I had fun watching you read.” 

“Uh—you were watching me?” Rei seemed flustered, and Nagisa’s own face prickled with heat. 

“Mhm—your expression changes a lot when you read, Rei-chan. It’s almost like you’re a character from an anime,” he teased, releasing Rei’s face. “It’s super interesting to watch!” Immediately, Rei’s face paled.

“Wait, Nagisa-kun—I wasn’t making a strange expression, was I?” When Nagisa started to giggle, the brunet threw his head back. “That’s so not beautiful!” Gloomily, Rei lowered his head to watch Nagisa laughing in earnest. His expression softened, and his eyes observed the smaller man thoughtfully.

“Nagisa-kun,” he began. “Back at the bookshop—”

“Hm?” Nagisa looked up with an innocent smile. “What about the bookshop?” 

“When you were asleep, you—” Rei took in the corners of Nagisa’s eyes—they were still slightly red, but the blond didn’t seem to notice at the moment. He hesitated, then continued. “—you drooled all over the couch,” he finished, in an admonishing voice. “Please be careful the next time you fall asleep in a public place—I might not be there to clean it up then.” 

“Ehh?” Nagisa pouted slightly. “But Rei-chan’s the one who didn’t wake me up earlier!”

“Regardless, Nagisa-kun.” Rei pushed his glasses up business-like. “It’s hardly beautiful to drool everywhere.” He cleared his throat, remembering Nagisa’s childlike sleeping face. “You really shouldn’t let your guard down like that…” 

“Geez, Rei-chan, you sound like my mom!” As Rei sputtered indignantly, Nagisa laughed.

 

They made their way back towards the main streets, small shops beginning to pop up at their side. Nagisa chatted animatedly while Rei watched him silently, thinking. 

“Flowers for sale!” a voice called from the side, and both Rei and Nagisa turned. “All bouquets are 30% off!” They saw a small flower shop a few feet away—the owner was standing in the doorway and calling out to the passerby. 

“They’re for sale, huh?” Nagisa peered around Rei with an interested smile. “They’re so colorful!”

“…Nagisa-kun, do you mind if we stop by?” Rei asked suddenly. 

“Oh, do you have something to buy, Rei-chan?” 

“—Sort of.” Rei pushed up his glasses with one hand. 

“Okay—then I’ll be waiting outside!” Nagisa said, hopping forward to look at the flowers at the store front. “They sure are pretty!” Reds, oranges, yellows, and pinks blossomed from their pots, all bathed in the warm evening glow of the sun. It’d been a while since he’d grown plants—the last time had been before he graduated high school. Those years, he’d kept a few potted ones in his room—he’d planted them in the backyard of his house before leaving for college. Nagisa was just starting to wonder whether he should take a potted plant home, when Rei emerged from the shop.

“Ah, Rei-chan! What did you get—” Before he could finish, a hand held out three daisies towards him. 

“—For you,” Rei said in a clear voice, meeting Nagisa’s eyes despite the flush on his face. When Nagisa only stared back at him, the taller man began to fumble with his glasses. “I—I do know it’s a clichéd gesture but—if you’d like to accept them—”

“—Why daisies?” Nagisa asked at last—his own face warming quickly as he looked down at the flowers. Their petals were white, orange, and pink—under the light of the evening, they looked even softer than usual. 

“I—actually, I’m not well-versed in the language of flowers,” Rei began nervously. “So I’m not sure what they’re supposed to symbolize, but—” His free hand traveled to the nape of his neck in a shy gesture. “They reminded me the most of you, so…” 

“They can be planted in pots, too!” a voice called from the side. Jumping slightly, the two looked up to see the flower shop owner smiling from the doorway. “They were cut so that they’d root if they’re placed in soil. If you’d like a pot, I’ll give it to you at a discount!”

 

* * *

 

Some minutes later, Nagisa found himself walking with a pot of daisies in a bag. He couldn’t help but glance down to admire the petals, humming as he did.

“Was it all right with you, purchasing the pot?” Rei asked from beside him. “I didn’t mean for you to carry something bulky home, although the shop owner did recommend it—”

“Aw, don’t worry, Rei-chan!” Nagisa flexed one of his arms cheerfully, the plastic bag sliding down to his elbow. “My biceps aren’t as terrific as yours, but I can carry this much without sweat!” Not missing the compliment, Rei sputtered slightly and turned a bright red. “Thank you for the flowers, by the way,” Nagisa added shyly, and Rei coughed. 

“It’s no problem. I—actually, I wanted to thank _you_ , for today.” They neared a crossing in the road, where the path was interrupted by a line of train tracks. “You took me to a movie with a beautiful story and insisted that I pick where we eat lunch—you even brought me to that wonderful bookstore and waited for me while I read.” Nagisa looked up to meet Rei’s eyes—the taller man’s gaze made him want to duck his head and never look away at the same time. “You’re the considerate one, Nagisa-kun.” His voice was soft but so certain, and Nagisa really did duck his head then. 

If this was Rei’s way of flirting, he thought his own method might not stand a chance. His heart flipped stupidly in his chest, not for the first time since he’d met the man. 

For someone who was usually hilarious, or awkward, or both, Rei had a strange talent of making Nagisa feel flustered. Why was that? 

The ringing of bells caught Nagisa’s attention—at the train crossing before them, the security bars were starting to come down on either side. The sky was a dusky orange, soon to turn black—it was already nearing dinnertime. They came to a stop before the bar, standing side by side in silence. It occurred to Nagisa, as the bells continued ringing, that their day together was coming to an end, again.

 

He found himself wishing that time didn’t pass quite so quickly.

 

“Nagisa-kun.” Rei’s voice made Nagisa turn. When he did, he felt Rei’s hands gently wrap around his.

 

“Can we see each other again?”

 

He said it so earnestly that Nagisa’s eyes dropped to his feet. Next to them, the train rushed past, wheels clacking against the rails with a lively robustness. His heart seemed to stumble in time with the noises, continuing even after the train was gone. 

He thought he knew why, now. It didn’t matter whether he was stammering with embarrassment or being straightforward and confident—Rei was always being genuine. If he called Nagisa ‘considerate’, he truly meant it—and if he was asking if they could meet again, he really did want to see him again. It was such a simple thing, except it wasn’t.

 

Looking up at Rei, Nagisa nodded once, happily.

 

Bells clanged and safety bars raised themselves again—and suddenly, everything was quiet again. Rei looked a little stunned, and Nagisa found that his hands were beginning to feel sweaty. 

“Rei-chan,” he said eventually, flushing. “You can let go now.” That seemed to do the trick—Rei took one look down at their hands and yelped, releasing Nagisa’s as if they were on fire. As if he was shocked to see them wrapped together.

“Wh-when—I—wha—” he stammered, like a startled baby fawn. “Wh-when did I grab hold of your hands?!” Seeing him so befuddled and embarrassed made the corner of Nagisa’s mouth twitch. Then, the blond burst out laughing, clutching his stomach. 

“Oh my god—Rei-chan!” he said, in-between laughs. “You were _just_ being smooth—what happened to you?” Rei’s face promptly matched the color of his glasses.

“S-stop laughing!!” he insisted, cheeks puffing up. “Nagisa-kun!!”

 

A distance away from the laughter and indignant shouts, a cat stretched its back on the brick fence, meowing contentedly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've written a [Reigisa fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1197258) with lots of daisies in it before, but here I really just pulled the flowers Nagisa was wearing with his [birthday outfit](http://www.kyotoanimation.co.jp/shop/free/birthday/img/nagisa/top_title.jpg).
> 
> This chapter...wasn't a filler exactly, but something like details, insights, and hints jumbled into one. I had the hardest time editing this, so I hope everything ran smoothly and made sense. Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Nagisa and Rei grow closer, Nagisa starts to question his own feelings. An awkward run-in at the cafe leads to unexpectedly good things.

On a Sunday night, Nagisa had just returned to his apartment when there was a knock on his bedroom door.

“Hazuki-kun, can I come in?” It was his roommate's voice.

“Go ahead!” Nagisa replied. He’d just finished changing into his penguin-print pajamas before the door opened. A man with grey hair in a bowl cut entered, his sky blue eyes sweeping around the room.

“I knew you still had my comic book,” he said disapprovingly, after he spotted the latest volume of ‘The Life of a Mouse’ on Nagisa’s drawers. “If you were done with it, you should’ve given it back earlier!” 

“Sorry, Ai-chan,” Nagisa replied, giggling apologetically. “It kinda slipped my mind.” Noting that his smile seemed different than usual, Ai raised a knowing brow.

“Did you come back from another date, Hazuki-kun?” The hand Nagisa had been propping himself up with suddenly slipped. He scrambled a little to keep from falling off his bed, face pink.

“Wh—how did you—?” Grinning, Ai’s eyes wandered to the daisies and stuffed penguins on the drawer. 

“I thought you looked a little happier than usual recently. It’s springtime for you again, isn’t it?” he teased. Nagisa puffed out his cheeks, biting the side of his mouth.

“He’s just a friend,” he mumbled, and Ai’s brow arched higher. “—Okay, he’s sort of a special friend,” the blond admitted, pulling his knees towards his chest and pressing his cheeks against his pajamas. “But we’re not dating, so…” 

“Oh? From your expression, I think people would think otherwise.” Ai smiled amicably. “If you ever bring him over, make sure I’m not here. Oh, and stay in _your_ bedroom.” 

“Ai-chan!” Laughing at Nagisa’s scandalized voice, Ai headed over to the drawers to collect his comic book. He then noticed that the stuffed penguins had new accessories on them.

“Nice ribbons,” he commented. “How come they’re different colors?” Nagisa’s own eyes flickered to the penguins, and he smiled a little.

“It’s for telling them apart,” he said simply. The penguin he’d won at the convenience store raffle wore a yellow ribbon, while the penguin Rei had won him at the arcade wore a purple one. They stood side by side on the dresser, the fuzzy tips of their wings almost touching.

 

* * *

 

Since their second date, Nagisa had started to meet Rei more frequently. After the first time Rei had texted him and casually asked him out to dinner, more dates of a similar nature had followed almost naturally. They held lengthy conversations over family restaurant dinners, took walks in the park and fed the ducks in the lake, walked around the city and had fun exploring places and taking photos. 

Nagisa liked browsing through them at night, on the subway trip back his apartment. Rei nearly falling into the square fountain after trying to throw in a coin at the perfect angle. A selfie of himself grinning at the camera while Rei sang dramatically in the background at karaoke. Amazingly enough, that had been Rei’s first visit ever to a karaoke place and he’d been more than hesitant to sing, but Nagisa was getting pretty good at saying just the right words to get him to try new things. The photo Nagisa had snapped during a pet shop visit was also one of his favorites. In it, Rei looked faintly appalled and very surprised as a Pomeranian licked his face enthusiastically. Rei had also taken a photo of Nagisa holding the same Pomeranian, laughing as he looked up from the floor of the shop. He’d seen Rei smile at the photo—his face had been glossy with dog spit, but Nagisa couldn’t help but feel flustered anyways. 

As the time they spent with each other increased, they naturally grew to learn more about each other, about their past and present, their aspirations for the future. They talked about what they had done that week, talked about their friends from college and told stories about their families. And sometimes they would just talk about the most random things, like the theory of space time as a super-fluid substance and the plausibility of raising penguins on a farm. Sometimes they didn’t talk, and that felt all right too. The silences between himself and Rei didn’t feel empty or uncomfortable—it’d been a long time since Nagisa had met someone like that. 

Despite all their conversations, however, Rei hadn’t brought up his confession again at all. Nagisa didn’t know why, but for that he felt a little grateful—the way things were now made him happy, and he felt that he wanted them to stay that way, at least for a while longer. The thought that Rei was still waiting for an answer made him feel guilty, but for now, he wanted to sort out his own feelings first.

 

At least, that was what he kept telling himself, as hesitation stirred constantly at the pit of his stomach.

 

* * *

 

“Should I expect this to be a routine thing now?” Rin asked dryly. Across from him sat Nagisa, who in the redhead’s eyes was grinning like an idiot. They were having lunch at their usual café again, and the younger man was smiling absently while playing around with the food in his plate. _Amazing_ , Rin thought, _THE Hazuki Nagisa isn’t touching his food._

“What’re you talking about, Rin-chan?” Nagisa asked cheerfully, even his voice sounding like he was somewhere else. Rin rolled his eyes.

“ _That_. That disgusting look on your face.” Shaking his head, he leaned back in his chair. “You went out with Rei yesterday, didn’t you?” 

“Eh?!” Nagisa jumped slightly in his seat. “How did you know, Rin-chan?!” Rin raised a brow.

“Seriously? You’ve went out with him, what, three times this week?” He whistled. “It looks like you see him more often than you see me now.” 

“Aww, Rin-Rin, are you feeling lonely?” Leaning forward, Nagisa patted Rin’s hand with sympathy. “Don’t worry, I’ll introduce you to some girls from my school if you want!” 

“Wha—who the fuck’s _lonely?!_ Are you picking a fight, brat?!” Rin snarled, shooting up from his chair, and Nagisa laughed. Clicking his tongue, the redhead sat back down with a frown.

“Well, I won’t complain about you two hitting it off so well,” he said grudgingly, rubbing the back of his head. “But if you’re going out, at least one of you should’ve told me something by now.” When Nagisa just blinked, Rin went on grudgingly. “I mean, I’m the one who set you guys up and all—don’t I at least get a thanks in return?” He looked across the table at his friend—who, strangely enough, wasn’t saying anything at all. In fact, Nagisa’s eyes were shifty and avoiding Rin completely, his smile sitting suspiciously on his face.

 

A minute later, just when an unexpected guest walked in to the café, there was an outburst from the table in the corner.

 

“ _What?!_ You two _still_ aren’t going out?!”

 

Immediately, all other guests in the café fell silent. Their eyes turned towards Rin, who had stood up again out of sheer surprise. His red eyes stared with disbelief at an uncomfortable looking Nagisa, whose eyes were on his lap and whose hands were weaving together. 

“I can’t believe this,” Rin croaked eventually, feeling a bit winded. “You’ve been on a _handful_ of dates with him for the past month, and you’re telling me—“ 

“Um—Rin-san—” an uncomfortable voice spoke from his left. Both Rin and Nagisa froze. “You’re speaking a bit too loudly. Everyone’s…staring.” They turned to see Rei standing awkwardly before their table, ears noticeably red.

 

The three of them spent what felt like an eternity sweating uncomfortably, before a noise finally escaped Rin’s throat.

 

“Oh— _ohh!!_ Well, if it isn’t Rei!!” he said a bit too loudly. “What brings your ass here at this time, huh?!” He slapped Rei on the back hard, making the brunet stagger.

“I—ouch—I was just—ouch—my class was cancelled today, so—ow—I thought I’d grab a quick bite—” Nagisa noticed the textbooks tucked under Rei’s arm—it looked like he had been planning to study at the café as well. “Were—um—were the two of you having lunch?” Rei continued awkwardly, after Rin stopped slapping his back.

“Uh—yeah! Yeah, we were just talking about the weather!” lied Rin, so obviously that Nagisa would’ve rolled his eyes if it were any other situation. “Summer heat’s coming on and all, you know?!” 

“I—I see,” Rei replied, pushing his glasses up. “It _is_ getting rather hot lately—” He laughed uncomfortably, eyes trailing towards Nagisa before averting themselves again. “I, er, I came here to study, so—I’ll um, leave you two alone—” Before he could escape, however, a hand jerked him back by the collar.

 _“Nonsense!”_ barked Rin, pulling Rei down into his own seat. “I just finished eating anyways!” He wasn’t, and his plate of half-eaten steak sandwich was glaring proof, but the redhead gave Rei’s shoulder another firm slap. “Eat something before you go make out with your books or whatever! I, uh, just remembered something I have to do, so I’ll just get outta here!” Turning hastily, Rin threw a hand up in parting. “Have fun staring into each other’s eyes or whatever you do!” He then made a beeline for the door, bell jingling when it fell closed behind him. 

All Rei could do was turn towards Nagisa with an awkward smile.

“Uh—hi, Nagisa-kun,” he said, voice sounding almost uncertain. 

“Hi, Rei-chan,” Nagisa squeaked, eyes still trained on his own lunch. _Rin-chan, you traitor!!_ he thought spitefully, hands clutching the edge of the tablecloth. Some seconds of uncomfortable silence passed between the two, the smaller man trying to figure out what to say without much success. 

_‘You’re telling me that you still haven’t given him a reply?’_ The words that Rin couldn’t finish rang in Nagisa’s head. Guilt started to pour into him in waves—the underlying fear that came with it churned in his stomach. 

When he thought he couldn’t stand the silence anymore, Nagisa opened his mouth.

“Rei-chan—” he began, unable to look Rei in the eye. “About what Rin-chan just said—” 

“Ah—” Rei’s voice interrupted him, and Nagisa looked up. “It’s the first time I’m having lunch here—what would you suggest I order, Nagisa-kun?” The younger man was smiling at him casually. “You usually eat here with Rin-san, am I correct?” 

“Oh—yeah!” Nagisa replied quickly, stomach settling with relief for the time being. “Yeah—anything they serve here is pretty good. Maybe Rei-chan will like the tuna salad sandwich!” 

“I see—I think I’ll try that, then.” Rei stood up from the table. “I’ll be back soon, Nagisa-kun.” He headed for the register, leaving Nagisa alone to catch a sigh of relief.

 

* * *

 

“Oh—” Rei glanced down at his bitten tuna sandwich with surprise. “This _does_ taste pretty good!” 

“Right?” Nagisa chimed in. “The pasta here’s awesome, too—especially the alfreddo!” 

“I only tried the black coffee from this shop before,” Rei replied, leaning towards his sandwich for another bite. “If I’d known their food was good, I’d have ordered some occasionally.” 

“Really?” Nagisa glanced out the café window towards a brick tower in the distance. “But isn’t your college close from here? Rin-chan told me he eats here like all the time.”

“I usually pack my own meals,” Rei confessed, lifting his cup of coffee to his mouth. “Today, I happened to sleep past my alarm, so I was rushing and had no time in the morning.” Nagisa noticed that his hair did seem more disheveled than usual—he found his hand lifting to pat down some of those cowlicks, but caught himself and stilled it.

“Uh—you cook, Rei-chan?” he asked quickly, fingers drumming a quick beat on the table. “I didn’t know that!" At the question, Rei’s chest puffed out proudly.

“Yes—I find that the easiest way to maintain a properly balanced diet is to prepare my meals myself!" He preened, and Nagisa couldn’t help but giggle under his hand. “Not to mention that I also pay close attention to the aesthetics—with my understanding of color theory, I can successfully reap the maximum psychological benefits of my bento as well!” 

“Wow, Rei-chan, you’re amazing!” Nagisa marveled, indulging Rei. “Ah! I know!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “I want to try Rei-chan’s cooking, too—you should pack us lunch on our next date!”

 

As soon as he said these words, a silence fell over them. Not for the first time today, Nagisa was starting to really hate himself. Before he could apologize or at least say something, Rei spoke.

 

“Nagisa-kun.” The blond looked up to see Rei smiling gently. “You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. You do know that.” _‘You don’t have to feel pressured to respond.’_ He didn’t say it explicitly, but Nagisa knew what he meant. The words just made him feel guiltier, because he knew Rei meant it. Otherwise, he would’ve been confronted earlier, Nagisa was sure. 

“Why are you so nice, Rei-chan?” he found himself saying, hands bunching in the tablecloth on his lap. He saw Rei’s mouth drop open slightly, then close again, and thought that he’d probably said the wrong thing again. Then—

“Because my personality is of excellent caliber, of course!” Nagisa’s eyes widened as Rei laughed proudly. “Beauty doesn’t solely take form on the exterior—one must have a beautiful personality to match!” His proud smile mellowed as he met Nagisa’s eyes. “Though in this case, I’m simply doing what I want.” 

“Rei-chan…” 

“But!” Rei interrupted, with a plotting grin on his face. “If you do feel so guilty about it, then I don’t see why you can’t make it up to me!” He stood up, leaning across the table and planting his palms right before Nagisa. “Nagisa-kun!”

“Y-yes?” the smaller man stammered. 

“Please show me more photos!” Rei declared, eyes quite serious. “Of yourself from your kindergarten days!” Immediately, a deadpan expression washed over Nagisa’s face.

“No.” 

“Tch!” Rei beat the top of the table with a trembling fist. “And I was so close!” 

“—I’ll show you some from high school,” Nagisa said softly, and Rei looked up with interest. “If you want.” 

“Of—of course!” Rei replied eagerly, back straightening with anticipation.

 

And that was how they ended up sitting close, heads bent over Nagisa’s pink phone. Rei’s eyes shone with interest as Nagisa clicked through his album—in most of the snapshots, the blond was making a cheery expression at the camera or doing something silly in the background. Rei noticed that the same two teens were also present in most of the photos—a tall boy with kind-looking eyes and a muscular physique, and a dark-haired boy with a stoic expression and a certain grace about his features. 

“Is that Haru-chan-san and Mako-chan-san?” he asked, and Nagisa nodded.

“Haru-chan’s the one with black hair, and Mako-chan’s the tall guy,” he explained, pointing them out in the current photo. The raven-haired teen was eating mackerel from his bento with a calm expression, while his childhood friend seemed to be scolding him about something from the exasperation in his face. “I think Mako-chan was scolding Haru-chan for packing nothing but mackerel for lunch—oh, and the next shot’s Haru-chan force-feeding Mako-chan to shut him up!” he said, giggling at the photo of Makoto almost choking. 

“That’s not beautiful…” Rei remarked, with a dubious raise of his brow. He noticed that a lot of the photos were taken on what looked like the school rooftop. “Did you three always eat lunch on the roof?”

“Yep—that’s where Haru-chan and Mako-chan had lunch since their first year,” Nagisa said. “You can see the school pool from the rooftop—that’s why Haru-chan liked to eat there. Oh, speaking of which—here’s one of us at the pool!” They moved onto a photo where younger Nagisa was sitting by the poolside, swinging his feet and laughing while Haru dove into the water and Makoto was trying to dodge the splash. 

Rei’s eyes wandered to the blond, whose features looked rounder and a little softer than now. The light from the sun bounced off his golden hair, giving his crinkled eyes and the skin on his face a soft glow. The light yellow hoodie that he wore with his swimsuit suited him, made him appear even cuter. Rei had seen photos of Nagisa in his school uniform—the knit sweater he wore over his shirt had been the same color, the sleeves falling close under his knuckles.

“You look adorable.” The words slipped out without Rei meaning for them to, in an unconsciously affectionate voice. When he came to, he turned a beet red and tripped over his words. “I—I mean—you look younger than you are now and—I mean, you still do look cute—” His words came to a stop when he saw Nagisa fidgeting, cheeks noticeably rosy. “—Nagisa-kun?” 

“H-huh?” Rei smiled a little.

“Are you actually embarrassed?” he teased—delighting in how Nagisa’s mouth fell open. 

“Th-that’s because Rei-chan’s saying embarrassing stuff all of a sudden!” he protested, turning his face away with a pout. Rei felt tempted to call him cute again—just because it was true and he liked having the upper hand during rare moments like this. An interesting realization dawned on him—that despite his usually confident manner, Nagisa might actually not be used to handling direct compliments. When he felt his own phone being snatched from his pocket, however, Rei had no time to explore that theory.

“Wait—Nagisa-kun!!” In a gleeful revenge, the blond navigated to Rei’s image folder with admirable speed.

“I’m gonna find all of Rei-chan’s embarrassing photos from high school!” he chimed determinedly, clicking through his albums at an alarming speed. When he glimpsed a school uniform in one of the photos, his eyes brightened and he stopped clicking. “Ah! It’s Rei-chan!” 

“I-it’s not an embarrassing photo, is it?!” asked Rei, peering fearfully over Nagisa’s shoulder.

“So this is what Rei-chan looked like in high school.” In the photo, a younger Rei was sitting at his desk, eyes trained on the book in his hand. He looked like the definition of a model student, his blazer buttoned all the way up and his tie tied neatly. Even his posture fit the part, straight and refined—the way his arm tilted the book towards himself was almost elegant. The only detail that seemed to clash with the image were the cowlicks that stood at the back of Rei’s head—so even in high school, he hadn’t been able to tame them at all. “That seems just like Rei-chan,” Nagisa mused—apart from the fact that the outlines of his face had grown sharper and his jaw more defined, younger Rei looked about the same as present Rei. Maybe his hair was a little shorter now, and he’d also grown taller.

As Rei sighed in relief, Nagisa clicked to the next photo—and immediately burst out laughing.

“Wh-what is it?!” Rei exclaimed. When Nagisa only slumped over laughing, the brunet snatched the phone away from him. “Nh! AAHHH!!!” His face melted into a look of horror. “I’ve never even _seen_ this photo before—what in the _world—?!!”_ In the photo, Rei was snoozing on the same desk with his cheek pressed against an open textbook. His bangs had been brushed away from his forehead, and the words TURBO NERD were written across it in block letters. In addition, gaudy looking eyes with lashes were drawn over his eyelids, and a rose had been drawn across his mouth so it looked like he was grabbing onto it with his teeth. On the left side of the photo was half of a younger Rin’s face, his shark teeth smirking mischievously at the camera while his hand waved around a water-based marker. 

“W-when did Rin-san even _take_ this pho—” Rei stopped, something in his memories clicking. “AH!! That was the day when he started wiping my face with a wash towel all of a sudden!! He told me it was because I was looking sweaty—” The taller man’s face turned a beet red. _“RIN-SAAAAAN!!!!”_ Beside him, Nagisa’s frame was growing limp from laughing so hard. 

“This—now this is just like Rei-chan!” he snorted in-between giggles. 

“Ex _cuse_ me?!” Rei squawked indignantly. “I demand that you stop laughing this instant!" 

Eventually, when Nagisa had stopped laughing, he managed to coax the phone out of Rei’s hands. While Rei sulked resignedly at his side, the blond went through other photos from Rei’s high school. In about half of them, he noticed, Rei was alone—the rest were mostly taken with Rin (or _by_ Rin, Nagisa noted with appreciation, as he burst into laughter at every hilarious surprise photo) or with his older brother, who resembled Rei in his looks but seemed to have a breezier personality. There were photos of Rin and Rei having lunch in class, Rei cautiously trying to feed Rin’s stray cat near the chicken coop, Rei running in the relay during the athletics festival—even one of Rei standing with his parents at the graduation ceremony, cap just a little lopsided on his head and smiling. Nagisa guessed this would’ve been the time before his own sophomore year in college was about to start. When he aligned their timelines like that, it left him feeling a small sense of wonder. 

“It looks like _Rei-chan_ was the cute one in high school,” he said teasingly—but he really did mean it. Next to him, Rei’s pout deepened.

“I’m deleting those photos at home, as soon as I get there,” he mumbled. “I should have checked those albums much sooner…” He sounded so glum that Nagisa felt somewhat sympathetic.

“Aw—don’t be like that, Rei-chan. They all look like they’re fun memories!” He looked fondly at another photo of younger Rei, looking out the class window from his desk. “Lucky Rin-chan—if I’d gone to same school as you guys, I could’ve been your senpai too. You would’ve made such a cute kouhai!” 

“That— _that_ might have been something of a nightmare,” Rei said, glancing at Nagisa and shivering.

 _“Heyy_ , what’s that supposed to mean?” Nagisa asked, pouting. “Rei-chan’s so mean…” He clicked to the next photo, and his eyes widened. 

“—Is this you at a track meet?” he asked, in an awed voice. Rei looked up to peer at the photo. 

“Ah—yes.” He squinted slightly through his glasses. “I believe that was a competition in my—first year? Probably.” Nagisa only half-heard Rei’s voice, as he stared down at a photo of Rei doing the pole vault. His back made a graceful arch against the clear sky, tracksuit fluttering against his tan skin and strong muscles, his dark hair sweeping against his forehead as he cleared the bar. The moment was breathtakingly elegant, yet seemed effortless. Beautiful. 

As far as Nagisa could remember, the only other time he’d felt this way was when he’d first seen Haru swim. But the feeling held a different color this time—and for a while, all Nagisa could do was stare at the photo in silence. If Rei looked this beautiful in a photo, he wondered how amazing it would be to see the event in person.

“…Nagisa-kun?” A tentative, slightly nervous voice came from his left. “I know it doesn’t look quite as glamorous in a photo—and um, since that was from my first year, I’ve performed better in later competitions—”

“Rei-chan.” Rei froze at Nagisa’s voice, which sounded a little strange. “This is—” The younger man gulped. “— _amazing!_ ” Rei blinked, looking at how Nagisa’s eyes were sparkling with awe. “And this was only in your first year? No way!” He leaned towards Rei, invading his personal space, and Rei gulped. “How did you do in this competition?” 

“I—well—” The younger man cleared his throat. “I did place first, but it was only a small meet—”

“First place?! That’s amazing!” Not noticing how flustered Rei got, Nagisa looked back at the photo. “But that’s to be expected, huh?” He looked back at Rei with flushed cheeks and an excited smile. “The way you fly is beautiful, Rei-chan!” 

For the next five minutes, all Rei could do was stare open-mouthed at Nagisa. Not seeming to realize it, the blond flipped through the rest of Rei’s track pictures, talking animatedly.

“—how come you didn’t continue track in college?” Nagisa was saying, eyes shining brighter with each photo. “If you were this good in high school, it’s almost a waste—”

“—‘jump’—” Rei said, voice faint. 

“Hm?” 

“—the correct term is ‘jump’,” Rei informed the older man, feeling a little dazed. “Not ‘flying’. Humans can’t fly without the proper equipment.” Nagisa laughed.

“Don’t sweat over the specifics, Rei-chan—it was just a simile!” 

“Metaphor,” Rei corrected softly, but Nagisa’s attention was already elsewhere. The brunet cleared his throat. “—well, they did call me ‘The High-Flying Butterfly’ at track competitions.” Nagisa’s attention perked up.

“Because of how you soared over the bar?” He nodded his agreement. “Butterflies are pretty when they fly, after all.” The older man blinked. “Is that why you like butterflies so much?” 

“Not exactly.” Rei fingered the collar of his butterfly-print button-down self-consciously. “I’ve admired butterflies since I was a child—I’ve always tried to emulate their beauty.” 

“That sounds just like Rei-chan!” Nagisa stopped at another photo, blinking curiously. “Who’s this?” he asked, turning the phone towards Rei. “A friend from the track team?” On the screen, Rei and a teen with green hair and glasses stood side by side on the school track. He seemed like the friendly leader type, from Nagisa’s general impression.

“Ah—that’s Sera-senpai,” Rei explained. “He was the track team captain until the middle of my second year, then he retired to focus on his career path.” Nagisa hummed thoughtfully as he studied the teen called Sera. 

“Your team participated in a lot of competitions, huh? You and your teammates must’ve had some good memories, since you guys even went to nationals.” The blond pouted with regret. “I wish our club could’ve at least swam at the regionals—it would’ve been so much fun!” 

“…Actually, I wasn’t very close to the track team,” Rei confessed, scratching the side of his cheek. “Since it’s really mostly an individual sport in the first place…” 

“But being in the same club for three years is still special, isn’t it?” Nagisa tilted his head curiously. “Didn’t you guys at least get along?” At the question, Rei cleared his throat sheepishly.

“I…don’t really have a lot of nice memories from the track team. The only person who I was on friendly terms with was Sera-senpai—and after he retired from the club, well, I was basically alone.” 

“Eh—” Nagisa looked at Rei with surprise. “But why? You’re a nice guy, and you’re even funny—what happened?” Rei’s hand trailed to the nape of his neck.

“The track team members didn’t really think so.” Seeing the frown forming on Nagisa’s face, Rei hastily continued. “A large part of it was my fault—I wasn’t very friendly in the first place, see. And even when a few of them asked me for pointers, I—well, I forced too many expectations on them. I only thought about my own standards of working hard—I didn’t stop to think that I might be pushing them too hard.” The brunet smiled sadly. “I was part of a team when I didn’t know how to be part of one. That’s really the whole story—though I still do love the sport itself.” 

“Rei-chan…”

“Even Rin-san kept telling me that I was ‘being a douchebag’, but I didn’t quite listen to him.” Rei laughed without real heart. “In the end, I retired from the club without really knowing any of my teammates.” He looked at Nagisa. “That’s why I’m envious of your memories with Haru-chan-san and Mako-chan-san. Even if you didn’t get to compete anywhere, those days must have been special for you.” 

“…I see,” Nagisa said in a subdued voice. “That must’ve felt lonely, Rei-chan—I wish I could’ve been on the team with you.” Rei blinked in surprise, before laughing.

“You, on the _track team _, Nagisa-kun?” Nagisa pouted.__

“What’s that tone supposed to mean? I might not be able to outrun Rei-chan, but I did use to jog with Haru-chan back in elementary school!” His expression softened. “And it might’ve taken some effort, but I wouldn’t have given up on getting to know you. Being alone on a team seems like it’d feel really lonely, after all.” 

“Nagisa-kun…” Feeling touched and slightly at a loss for words, Rei chose to smile playfully instead. “I don’t think I could say the same about me joining your swim club—but thank you—” 

“That’s it!” With a loud clunk, Nagisa shot up from his chair with a sparkle in his eyes. “That’s a _brilliant_ idea, Rei-chan!” 

“—It can’t be—” Rei eyed him warily. “—that you’re suggesting I actually _do_ join a swim club?” 

“No, not that—the two of us can go swimming together!” Nagisa chirped eagerly. The words made Rei choke on thin air. “We’ll go to the pool at the local gym—we can even swim the relay together!” 

“Wha—a _swim relay?!_ What good would a two-person relay do?!” the brunet squawked, face paling. 

“It doesn’t matter how many people are there—it’s all about the team spirit!” Nagisa insisted, eyes sparkling. “Oh, or maybe we could ask Rin-chan to come, too! Then we’ll at least have three people—” 

_“Absolutely not!!_ ” Rei’s loud yelp pulled Nagisa out of his excited tirade. When the blond gave him a puzzled look, the brunet hurriedly cleared his throat. “J-just—I think a two-person relay will suffice after all,” he finished, in a resigned voice that was much lower. “And I recall that Rin-san said he’d be especially busy for the next few weeks!” he added firmly. 

“Oh—okay.” Nagisa wondered briefly why Rei was acting all sweaty, but shrugged off the thought and resumed his enthusiastic sparkle. “Let’s go this Friday, then!” 

“Ah—” Rei looked like he just remembered something. “—I don’t really own any swimwear,” he explained, when Nagisa looked at him questioningly. “Perhaps I should visit the sportswear shop—” 

“You can borrow from me!” Nagisa suggested. “I have tons of swimwear back at my place—I’ll bring over a few for you!” He heard Rei choke on air next to him. 

“You—uh—are you sure you’d…be okay with that?” he asked doubtfully, face beet red. 

“Yeah, it’s just swimwear!” Nagisa replied, raising a curious brow. “I don’t mind, I lend clothes to my roommate all the time!” 

“B-b-but that’s—” Thinking better of his words, Rei shook his head. “—never mind.” 

“Hmm~ We could probably go to the gym two stations away from here,” Nagisa mused. “Oh, but what should we do about lunch?” He made a face. “The cafeteria food there isn’t that great…” 

“Ah—if that’s the case, then I’ll pack us lunch!” Rei offered, pushing up his glasses confidently. “I am certain that I can construct the perfect meal for both of us—beautiful _and_ nutrition balanced!” 

“Yay~!” Nagisa’s arms shot up in the air. “To the gym pool it is! To swim and eat Rei-chan’s cooking!” From beside him, Rei smiled at the smaller man fondly. 

“What would you like to eat, Nagisa-kun?” he asked, and Nagisa's eyes lit up like lightbulbs. 

 

* * *

 

The night before the trip to the pool, Nagisa stood in his bedroom with several pieces of colorful swimwear laid out on his bed. 

“Hmm—which one should I wear?” he mused, looking amongst the loud patterns and equally loud colors. His eyes traveled over a pair of pink star-patterned trunks to land on his bright orange ones, with fewer stars near the hem. He did like those orange trunks—he’d worn them often during his swim club days in high school. Though he had grown a few centimeters since his third year, Nagisa thought they’d still fit him well enough. “The orange one it is!” he decided, placing the trunks in his bag. “And a swimsuit for Rei-chan—” He stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm…” His eyes landed on a bright yellow speedo with a penguin printed on the back—another one of his favorites. 

“Ah! This might be it!” Nagisa held up the speedo before him with satisfaction. “Rei-chan’s pretty tan, so neon-ish colors like this might look great on him!” His eyes grew thoughtful. _Rei-chan in a speedo…_ He knew Rei took pride in his legs, and rightfully so—they were long, lean but with just the right amount of muscle—both athletic and graceful. The fact that he cared greatly about his posture helped—and Nagisa had been on enough dates with Rei to know how great they looked with pants _on_ … 

Realizing that he was blushing, the blond dropped the speedo and slapped his pink cheeks. 

“Stop _leching_ on him—he’s your friend!” he told himself sternly. The memory of what’d happened at the café revisited him. 

 

_‘You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. You do know that.’_

 

“…He’s your friend who confessed to you,” Nagisa murmured in a smaller voice, remembering Rei’s understanding smile. “Who’s a really good guy. Who’s going to make someone really happy someday.” 

 

_‘So long, Nagisa.’_

 

The memory of a voice sent a sudden wave of cold over him. Feeling like he’d been shell-shocked, Nagisa weakly fell into a sitting position on his bed. 

Eventually, he curled up into a ball, turning on his bed towards the direction of his drawers. Seeing the stuffed penguin toys, Nagisa reached for the one with the purple ribbon. 

“It’s going to be all right,” he told himself in a small voice, hugging the toy to his chest. “Rei-chan is a different person. You’re really not being fair to him.” His eyes fell on his pink phone, also sitting on his drawers. Rei had sent a message earlier, to make sure of their meetup time tomorrow. Nagisa had already replied, but now, he wanted to text him again. 

 

In the end, he didn’t. Instead, he lay awake for several hours afterwards—feeling restless and unable to sleep. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~where have I seen that quote about eggshells before hmm~~
> 
> I've been editing and trying to set a good pace for this fic, chapter divisions and otherwise. If it's too slow, or if there's anything else I can improve on, I would really appreciate the feedback. Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A swim date in which things get awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many people noticed, but for those of you following this fic, it updates once every two to three days. Just a note since my Tumblr notices don't seem to be that effective. Enjoy!

When Nagisa woke up the next morning, it was an hour past the time he’d set his alarm to. When the situation sank in, he leapt out of bed, hair standing in every which way and expression equally hectic.

“Crap—I’m going to be so late!” he yelped, scrambling to finish packing what he hadn’t into his bag. “And Rei-chan’s _never_ late—he’ll be waiting for a whole _hour!”_ Cursing himself for falling asleep late, the blond turned to run for the shower—but then, he thought better of it. He’d definitely planned on cleaning up in the morning—he always did before meeting up with Rei—but right now he was out of time. And they’d be in pool water soon enough anyways, Nagisa reasoned with himself, as he threw on a random shirt and shorts and his bag over his shoulder. 

He was just about to dart out when he noticed the yellow jumper he’d hung on his chair—the same one he’d worn frequently around the poolside at Iwatobi High. Recalling how Rei had called his photo at the pool ‘cute’, the blond bit his lip in embarrassment but dashed back for the hoodie.

 

* * *

 

Thanks to skipping his shower, Nagisa was only forty minutes late to the gym. At least he’d remembered to text Rei on the subway. 

“Rei-chan!” When he finally burst into the pool area, Nagisa spotted Rei sitting some distance from the edge. “Sorry for being so late!” he apologized, stopping before the brunet. “I’ll treat you to something good la—ter?” When something about Rei caught his eye, Nagisa gaped with surprise.

“But I packed lunch for us today, Nagisa-kun.” Before him, a tired-looking Rei was getting up slowly, very noticeable dark circles lining his eyes. “It’s one of my—best works if I—say so myself—” he declared in a voice that seemed a little tense, pausing in-between to stifle a few yawns. 

“Rei-chan, you look like a panda!” Nagisa exclaimed, concerned. “You look as sleepy as I _feel_ —what happened?” He saw Rei stiffen at his observation.

“Wh-what do you mean, Nagisa-kun?!” he asked, voice about two tones higher than usual. “Me, looking _sleepy?!_ Whatever gives you _that_ idea?!” He laughed awkwardly, stepping closer to the table he’d been sitting at as if to hide something. Squinting suspiciously, Nagisa stepped loser to Rei—

“Aaaand it’s Tickle Time!” His hands grasped Rei’s side mercilessly, and the younger man choked out a laugh of almost-pain. 

“N-Na—HAH-gisakun!!” Reaching behind Rei, Nagisa grabbed the yellow book that had been sitting on the table.

“Aha! It’s a book on swim theory!” he noticed, with a quick look at the title. “Wow, you have so many things highlighted!” he observed, flipping through the book. 

“W-WAIT!!” Rei shrieked helplessly. “Nagisa-kun, give that _back_ —”

“Was Rei-chan trying to perfect the art of swimming or something?” Nagisa asked, eyeing Rei with a teasing smile. “It’s just us swimming for fun at a local pool—you didn’t need to go to so much work for today!” He laughed, and Rei’s shoulders seemed to relax very slightly.

“B-but—I—” Biting his lip, the brunet averted his eyes guiltily. “I’m— _out of practice,_ and—”

“But Rei-chan, so am I!” Nagisa chirped, in a reassuring voice. “It’s been years since I retired from my high school swim club, and even longer since I swam competitively. We’ll probably be about the same anyways!” 

“I—I highly doubt that prediction will come true,” Rei mumbled, pushing his spectacles up with a shaky hand. 

“Don’t be so worried, Rei-chan! We’re just here to have fun, no pressure!” Handing the book back, the blond patted the taller man on the arm. “Let’s go and get changed!” 

“No pressure,” Rei repeated faintly, as if he was trying to reassure himself. “Thank you for lending me your swimwear today, Nagisa-kun.” 

“Oh, right!” Grabbing his bag, Nagisa zipped it open and rummaged through the contents. “I should have—a couple extra—somewhere in here—” he trailed off, and Rei looked at him semi-hopefully.

“It can’t be that you forgot to pack extra? If that’s the case, then—”

“Aha! Here’s one!” Beaming, the blond fished out the first extra swimsuit that hooked on his finger.

Since he’d been on the rush that morning, he wasn’t really sure what swimsuit he’d packed, or how many extra. So when a white speedo dangled on his finger by the string, Nagisa blinked with surprise. He’d almost forgotten he owned it—maybe it’d been tucked somewhere into his swim bag from even before he moved out for college.

Well, it didn’t _seem_ like he’d find any other spare swimwear in his bag. With a perfectly innocent grin, Nagisa held the speedo out towards Rei. “For you, Rei-chan!” he chirped. 

Rei did blush a lot, but it was amazing how quickly his face reddened. 

“Y-y-you—you want me to wear _this?!”_ he croaked, looking on the verge of fainting. 

“Why not?” Nagisa asked, holding back his laughter. “You said you’d wear anything I lend you, right?” Just as he’d thought—it seemed that the particular suit was a little too _daring_ for Rei’s tastes.

“B-but _this?!_ This white— _thing?!”_ squawked Rei, appalled. “I refuse!” Immediately, Nagisa pouted.

“But it would look so good on you, Rei-chan! You have really beautiful legs, you know?” For a moment, Rei seemed to still at the compliment.

“E-even so! Aesthetically and—and _practically_ speaking!” the brunet added, flush traveling to his neck. “There should be more suitable candidates—” He blinked with realization. “You could lend me the one you brought for yourself, Nagisa-kun!” 

“Eh?! I don’t want to!” the blond protested. “They’re my lucky pair—I don’t want to lend them to _Rei-chan!”_

 _“What’s that tone supposed to mean?!”_ Sighing, Rei stared miserably at the white speedo. “Surely you would pull that off better than I ever could—” 

“You mean you _want_ to see me pull it off?” Nagisa asked teasingly. When he was met with a long silence, the smaller man looked up curiously—

And found Rei pointedly looking away—flush now prominent on his ears as well, hand cupped over his mouth. Nagisa’s mouth dropped open in surprise, and suddenly he felt a little warm as well.

“Rei-chan—”

“You’re wrong!” Rei yelped with mortification. “I-I-It’s not like that! I’m not thinking indecent things!” Promptly looking miserable with himself, the taller man clapped his hand over his mouth.  
“—I don’t think orange is your color,” Nagisa finished, face also pink. “I-If you’re opposed to it that much, though, I guess we can rent one from the gym—” His eyes wandered randomly towards his bag and caught a glimpse of yellow. 

“Ah!!” He tugged out the yellow speedo he’d picked out yesterday. “I found another one, Rei-chan!” he chirped, holding the penguin-stamped swimwear up. 

“It’s yet _another_ speedo?” Rei commented doubtfully. “It’s not beautiful…” 

“It’s this one or the white one!” Nagisa chided. “Your pick, Rei-chan!” Before him, Rei gulped, and his hand reached towards the yellow speedo without further hesitation.

 

* * *

 

If it were any other guy, or at least someone less fit than Rei was, Nagisa might have nearly died laughing. But he found that he couldn’t—not at _that_ build, _those_ abs, _those_ nicely muscled arms and legs. Why wasn’t Rei already a model somewhere? 

“If you laugh, I swear I’ll leave,” Rei’s embarrassed voice grumbled, and Nagisa snapped out of his trance.

“You look good, Rei-chan,” he murmured, voice awed and slightly shocked. “— _in_ it!” he added quickly, flushing. “The suit!” He hoped it hadn’t been real obvious that he’d been talking more about Rei’s body. 

“Th-thank you,” Rei stammered, lifting his arms a little over his stomach, as if _that_ would hide anything. The way his triceps flexed was more than a little distracting. “You look cute as well, Nagisa-kun.” Nagisa blinked, not expecting the compliment. “Just like you did in high school, if my memory is correct.” Rei was scratching his cheek shyly.

“Oh—um, thanks.” Nagisa linked his arms behind his back, causing the hem of his yellow jumper to bounce a little over his trunks. “So! Swimming then, huh?” he chirped, more loudly then he’d intended to.

“Er, I think we should stretch a little first?” Was it his imagination, or did Rei seem pale? Nagisa would have dwelled on it longer, if it weren’t for the sight of Rei stretching (very thoroughly, he might add in his defense) with barely any clothing on. As he watched Rei spread his legs and stretch his arms forward, the blond couldn’t help but thank himself for only bringing speedos with him. Even though it’d been an accident.

 

As it turned out, Nagisa found he should have paid more attention. To all the clues before, as a matter of fact.

“As soon as I touch the wall, you can dive, Rei-chan,” he’d said, after explaining to Rei the basics of the relay exchange. “Here I go, then!” 

“Y-yes!” he’ heard Rei squeak nervously, before he dived into the water first. 

It’d been a long time since he’d gone swimming like this, and as soon as he began the breast stroke, Nagisa was enveloped by feelings of happiness and nostalgia. He knew Rei considered swimming ‘illogical’, but he hoped that Rei would enjoy it at least a little today. 

“Go, Rei-chan!” he’d said, surfacing as he hit the wall with his palm. Above him, Rei had dived in a graceful arc, his form perfect—

And had fallen almost face-flat into the water. 

If he hadn’t been perfectly stunned, Nagisa would have reacted much earlier. But when Rei didn’t show any signs of surfacing for a good twenty seconds, the blond quickly dove underwater. When they resurfaced together, Rei began to cough while hanging onto Nagisa’s shoulder.

 

That was how Nagisa found out that Rei couldn’t swim.

 

“Here you go, Rei-chan~” he chirped, trying to sound as cheery as possible as he handed a water bottle to an extremely gloomy-looking Rei. They were now at the poolside, mostly so the taller man could rest and catch his breath. A towel hung over his head, and his arms were wrapped around his legs so his knees were pulled to his chest. 

“Thank you,” murmured Rei in a depressed voice, but he didn’t drink the water right away. Just ten minutes ago, Nagisa had felt panicked—but now, he just felt curious.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier, Rei-chan?” He took a seat beside Rei. “If I knew you couldn’t swim, I wouldn’t have asked to come here.” Rei swallowed.

“Because—it’s simply not beautiful,” he mumbled. “Sinking like a hammer in the water—it goes against my principles of beauty.” His forearms tightened against his knees.

“So that’s why you were up reading that book all night,” Nagisa realized. “No wonder you looked a little stressed out before.” 

“…I’m sorry.” Rei looked more than a little miserable, as he stared down at his knees. “Even though you invited me here today, I’ve already ruined our time together…” 

“That’s not true!” Nagisa insisted, sitting up. “It was just a little shocking when I thought you’d drowned, but…” He noticed Rei’s shoulders drooping even lower. 

“—Why did you agree to come today, then?” The younger man looked up with surprise. Nagisa was staring at him thoughtfully—Rei _was_ an odd person, but the blond couldn’t figure out why he’d agreed to come to the pool, knowing he might drown or make a fool of himself. While the latter didn’t matter so much to Nagisa, he knew how much it might bother Rei himself. 

“Because—” Rei hesitated. “—Because you talk about your days at the swim club all the time,” he murmured, averting his eyes. “Just from listening, I can tell how much the sport means to you. So I thought that I could try it out as well. Even if it’s illogical, I wanted to share the experience with you. If I did, I thought that I could understand your feelings better.” 

“Rei-chan…” Nagisa’s eyes widened, and Rei curled up tighter.

“You can laugh all you want,” he mumbled, ears pink. Despite the water in his hair, one of his cowlicks sprang up, swaying a little and pushing off a water droplet. Nagisa’s eyes softened.

“I’m not laughing,” he said gently. “Even though you didn’t know how to swim, you still tried your best in your own way, didn’t you?” He got up and knelt before Rei, forcing him to meet his eyes. “I think that side of you is beautiful, Rei-chan."

“Nagisa-kun…” A stunned Rei's voice trailed off, lips parted with awe.

“It’s still too early to give up!” The smaller man sprang up on his feet. “Rei-chan couldn’t swim for nineteen whole years, so it might be difficult—”

“You really don’t need to mention that, Nagisa-kun,” Rei deadpanned.

“—but you just need to follow your instincts.” Nagisa extended a hand towards Rei. “Let’s try again, Rei-chan—I’ll teach you!” 

“But…” Rei hesitated, looking up at Nagisa.

“It’s just me, Rei-chan.” The blond smiled reassuringly. “You won’t drown again, I promise!” Something in Rei's eyes flickered, and his resolve seemed to change.

“…It _is_ just you,” he repeated, almost to himself. _It’s_ exactly _just you._ With a newfound determination, the younger man grabbed Nagisa’s hand and stood up.

 

* * *

 

They spent a good two hours in the pool, in the middle of what Nagisa would call ‘baby steps to swimming’ and what Rei would call ‘a humiliating series of attempts to survive in chlorine waters’. When they finally took a break before lunch, Rei still couldn’t swim on his own—but he thought he was establishing a good rhythm of kicking, and at least he hadn’t drowned again (thanks to Nagisa’s firm hands and the kickboard they borrowed from the gym). 

“After all, it’s illogical to expect a beginner to gain swimming abilities in a mere two hours!” Rei was saying with an almost defiant pride. He and Nagisa were sitting at the edge of the pool with their feet in the water, Nagisa swishing his back and forth. “With my theoretical knowledge and some training, I’m bound to get the hang of it soon enough!”

“Rei-chan _does_ work hard,” Nagisa chirped. “I bet with some extra help from Rin-chan, you’ll be swimming the breaststroke in no time!” At the mention of Rin, Rei grimaced slightly.

“I’m not sure I want more people to know about my— _predicament_ in the water,” he muttered. “ _Especially_ Rin-san—he’d be laughing for years before he even got in the mood to teach me.” 

“Aw, don’t say that, Rei-chan!” Nagisa giggled. “Even Rin-chan had to start somewhere, you know? And if he does laugh, I have _tons_ of ways to blackma—get back at him!” His change of words and the way his eyes gleamed mischievously almost made Rei feel bad for Rin. All the same, he smiled back at Nagisa.

“I appreciate your support, Nagisa-kun.” Nagisa beamed back, and they sat in silence for a while, feet wading in the pool. The blond’s eyes peered at Rei’s profile, watching the way the waves of light from the chlorine water flickered over his skin.

“Rei-chan really is brave, you know that?” 

“Hm?” When Rei turned towards him, Nagisa explained.

“I mean, you agreed to go to the pool with me, even though you couldn’t swim. You even tried to swim the relay with me earlier.” 

“I don’t know,” Rei mused dryly. “If I look back on it now, some might feel justified to call that ‘foolishness’.” 

“That’s not true!” Nagisa insisted, making circles in the water with his foot. “You still decided you’d try to swim, and you came here out of your own will.” He smiled sheepishly. “When I first joined the ITSC, my dad had to give me a huge push. If I hadn’t met Haru-chan, I might’ve even given up on swimming. Back then I was a scaredy-cat, you know?” 

“Really?” Rei’s hand slipped under his eyes, only for him to remember he had no glasses on at the moment. Coughing in embarrassment, he lowered his hand. “I find that extremely hard to believe.”

“What?” Nagisa pouted. “It’s true though!” He brought his palms together, tapping them lightly against each other. “Even now, I’m still kind of scared sometimes.” 

The words slipped out when he hadn’t meant for them to. From his side, Nagisa noticed Rei’s expression change, and went on hastily. “A-anyways, Rei-chan has a lot of other good qualities! Like the way you dive headfirst into challenges and never give up, you know? That takes a lot of guts and willpower!”

“Nagisa-kun—” Rei was now shifting himself closer, and Nagisa suddenly felt panicked. His mind went white for a moment, and he blurted out words he’d never intended to say.

 

“Just like how you asked me out when we barely knew each other!”

 

Rei stopped moving, and a heavy silence wedged itself between them. Not for the first time that week, Nagisa wish he could just vanish into thin air. A hot blush stained his cheeks, and his fingers were knitting tightly against each other. 

“E-even though I’m not half as brave as you, see?” he stammered out eventually, unable to stand the thick silence. “I, I just thought that’s kind of amazing, you know?” He laughed weakly, averting his eyes. “God, what am I saying?” He lifted his palm to hide his face, feeling mortified. “I must really need some sleep—I’m sorry, Rei-cha—”

“Nagisa-kun.” At Rei’s firm voice, Nagisa’s eyes snapped up. Just then, familiar fingers wrapped themselves around his wrist, gently pulling his hand away from his face. When he saw Rei’s violet eyes glowing right before him, the blond inhaled slightly. Without glasses on, they looked bigger—their gaze even more intense. Wide as his own eyes were, Nagisa couldn’t look away.

 

“I think you’re just as brave of a person.”

 

A breath of surprise escaped from Nagisa’s lips. Rei didn’t turn his eyes away—the look in them was so earnest that it made the smaller man’s throat dry. No matter how hard he tried, Nagisa didn’t think he could hide anything from them.

“—ei-chan—” he breathed, voice barely coming out. Rei leaned closer, a fraction of a centimeter—and Nagisa’s heart leapt in his throat. 

Before he knew it, the blond was tearing his arm away, muttering ‘Sorry’ and diving into the pool. He swam away as fast as he could, pulse racing hard as he kicked up a storm in the water.

 

* * *

 

Needless to say, lunchtime was awkward. 

Even though Rei’s handmade bento was delicious, and he would’ve been raving about it any other time, Nagisa felt like he was trying to swallow gravel. They hardly spoke a word to each other, the two of them chewing silently at one of the poolside tables. A nervous jolt went through Nagisa whenever their eyes met, and he averted his as soon as he could. 

It made him feel even guiltier, when he later realized Rei had packed all of his favorite foods. And he hadn’t even said ‘thanks for the meal’.

 

That night, hours after Nagisa got home from the gym, he found yet again that he couldn’t sleep. He felt so stupid—it wasn’t like Rei had tried to initiate something, some form of physical affection. On the contrary, he’d probably just been trying to comfort Nagisa—and just because he got a little closer to do it, the blond had turned tail and run away. Because of his own nervousness, Nagisa thought he might’ve hurt Rei’s feelings. 

Around midnight, his phone buzzed next to his head. Picking it up, Nagisa saw a message from Rei flashing on the screen.

_{I apologize for my actions today. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable—I hope you understand that.}_

Biting his lip, Nagisa poised his fingers over the buttons to reply.

_‘You didn’t do anything wrong.’_

_‘I’m the one who should be sorry. I said weird things and started acting weird all on my own.’_

_‘I didn’t mean to throw your hand off like that. I’m sorry.’_

There were a lot of things Nagisa wanted to say, but in the end, he ended up saying none of them.

_{it’s not your fault, rei-chan, i just felt tired and out of it today. you should go to sleep too—good night!}_

After hitting send, Nagisa set down his phone and turned on his mattress to face the wall. He thought of Rei’s eyes, how beautiful they’d looked up close. How beautiful _Rei_ had looked up close, his hair drenched and slightly dripping with chlorine water, the drops that had clung to his tan skin, trailed down the lines of his face and his graceful jaw.

 

_‘I think you’re just as brave of a person.’_

 

What had even made him say that? Nagisa wondered—he didn’t feel even half as brave as Rei was. And yet, Rei’s voice had been so earnest—just what had the taller man seen in him? 

His heart flipped in his chest, and he felt restless. For hours, Nagisa tossed and turned in bed until falling asleep. Even then, he had a dream about Rei—they were walking in the park near the edge of the lake, pink and white and orange daisies blooming all around them. Nagisa made a flower crown for Rei, and Rei accepted it with a fond smile—he looked happy, and even in his dream Nagisa’s heart skipped a beat. He felt Rei’s fingers wrap around his hand, tugging him closer, his face leaning in and—

When Nagisa jerked awake, it was seven in the morning on a Saturday. His sheets were off his upper body, completely tangled with his legs, and his body was precariously close to the edge of the bed. 

As soon as he recalled the dream, Nagisa went to the bathroom to throw cold water on his burning face.

 

* * *

 

Three days later, Nagisa was doing laundry after class when his phone rang. When he saw who was calling, he inhaled nervously before picking up.

“—Hello?” he called into the receiver, voice hesitant.

 _[“Um, Nagisa-kun—”]_ an equally unsure voice spoke at the end of the line. _[“It’s—it’s me. Rei.”]_

“Oh—Rei-chan. Hi.” Any other day, Nagisa would’ve pointed out that he had caller ID, but he didn’t feel up to teasing Rei today. In fact, he was the one who felt embarrassed at the moment. “Um—what’s up?” 

_[“Um—well—”]_ Just from the shyness in Rei’s voice, Nagisa could picture the him scratching his cheek. _[“You see, I was just going through my dresser, and I realized that I still had those aquarium tickets left.”]_

“Oh—” Already, Nagisa was holding his breath with anticipation.

 _[“So I was wondering—if you’d like to come with me this Friday.”]_ A pause. _[“Th-that is, if you’d like to accompany me there—”]_

“Of course!” Nagisa blurted. Realizing he’d probably startled Rei with his loudness, the blond lowered his voice. “Of course I want to, Rei-chan!” he began again, heart skipping. “We never did go there together, did we? I’ve got nothing on Friday, so I’m good!” Actually, he thought he and Ai had agreed to clean their apartment together that day—but that was nothing Nagisa couldn’t make up to his roommate, he told himself. When the silence continued at the other end, Nagisa blinked. “Rei-chan, are you there?” 

_[“Y-yes, I am.”]_ Rei’s voice sounded faint, almost relieved. _[“I was just—glad that you agreed.”]_ His next words sounded hesitant. _[“With what happened last week, I thought—that you might not want to.”]_ Nagisa’s eyes widened, before a guilty look crossed his face.

“Of course I want to, Rei-chan,” he said softly, as sincerely as he could. He climbed atop the washing machine and sat, swinging his legs up. “I’m sorry for reacting the way I did last week. You didn’t do anything wrong—just, you got close to me and I…” His fingers curled over the hem of his shirt, playing with it self-consciously. “…I got kind of nervous,” he admitted quietly—his palms feeling sweaty all of a sudden. He felt ridiculous—this wasn’t even his first time in a romantic situation. He didn’t recall being this bad at—at whatever he was doing now. 

_[“…What?”]_ He thought Rei sounded stunned, a little unsure. _[“Um—you got nervous?”]_ he repeated uncertainly. _[“—Because of me?”]_ Nagisa laughed, in an attempt to laugh off his embarrassment—but it didn’t work. 

“It’s not the first time, Rei-chan,” he said at last, propping his sweaty palm on top of the washing machine. “You’re really comfortable to be around—but you make me feel self-conscious too. A lot.” Heat prickled his cheeks as he reached up to play with a strand of his hair. On the other line, it seemed like Rei was trying to figure out how to process this information. 

_[“—O-oh. That’s—”]_ Finally, Rei continued. _[“—I didn’t, um, know that.”]_ Now _he_ sounded self-conscious—and while Nagisa’s embarrassment grew heavier, it didn’t stop him from smiling. _[“—I feel the same way. Around you.”]_ As Nagisa inhaled, Rei seemed to be scrambling for words. _[“I-I mean—well, I think that’s been highly obvious, since I did confess to you and we’ve been seeing each other often and—oh, wait, I mean, well, no, I don’t mean ‘seeing each other’ in that sense, I was just—it’s just a figure of expression—”]_

“I missed you, Rei-chan,” Nagisa blurted. The other end of the line went quiet, and the blond ducked his face to bury it between his knees. He was so glad Rei couldn’t see him right now—he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this embarrassed. Or embarrass _ing_.

 _[“—It’s only been three days,”]_ Rei replied eventually—but his voice sounded soft, fond. 

“Still—we didn’t even text, and—” Nagisa fingered the hem of his shirt shyly. “And I missed hearing your voice.” The only sound he heard for a while were the sounds of his own washing machine. Then—

 _[“I oddly feel the same way.”]_ When he heard Rei’s words, Nagisa curled a little with happiness. _[“We hardly got to converse properly at the pool—during lunch, I mean.”]_

“Mm. I really enjoyed the lunch you packed, Rei-chan. You even packed all my favorites—thank you.” 

_[“—You’re welcome.”]_ Nagisa could almost hear Rei smiling. _[“I’ve never packed lunch for someone other than my family before, so—I’m glad you liked it.”]_ In his chest, Nagisa's heart flipped stupidly.

“You’d make a great husband.” The words slipped out before he knew it, and now he was sure he was tomato-red. “Um, I mean—I just meant you’re a really good cook!” he squeaked, wanting to bury himself in the ground. 

_[“Th-thank you,”]_ Rei stammered back. For a while, silence flowed between their lines, and Nagisa tried to cool himself down. Then—

 

 _[“Nagisa-kun.”]_ Rei sounded like he wanted to say something important. _[“In two weeks, I—”]_

 

His voice was interrupted by a loud crashing sound from outside the laundry room. Alarmed, Nagisa jumped off the washing machine. 

“Sorry, Rei-chan—I think Ai-chan might’ve knocked something over again,” he said. “I’ll call you back later!” 

_[“Ah—it’s all right, Nagisa-kun,”]_ Rei said. _[“Just—we’ll see each other on Friday, then?”]_

“Friday!” Nagisa chirped in agreement. “Text me the time, okay?” He hung up and hurried out towards the living room. 

At his own apartment, Rei stared at his phone with a thoughtful expression.

 

* * *

 

“I’m sorry, Hazuki-kun,” Ai apologized, after they’d finished cleaning up the shards of the dishes he’d dropped in the kitchen. “I thought the floor was dry. I’ll replace the broken dishes by the end of the week.”

“It’s ok. Just glad you didn’t get hurt!” Nagisa replied cheerfully, handing Ai a glass of water before joining him on the couch. “By the way, Ai-chan, I kiiind of have something to ask you.” He tried to keep his voice as innocent as possible, batting his lashes extra-charmingly. 

“Oh? What is it?” Ai’s brow raised knowingly—rooming with Nagisa for half a year had clued him in on when the blond was about to ask for a favor. Just as he’d predicted, his roommate clapped his hands together in a plea.

“Can we please clean the apartment some other time than Friday?!” When there was no immediate response from Ai, Nagisa looked up with pleading eyes. “I’ll replace half the dishes you dropped instead—pretty please?” 

“What’s the occasion?” Ai asked eventually, though he thought he knew. 

“Oh, um—” Nagisa’s eyes shifted guiltily. “Just, you know, I have a study group thing at college—”

“You know that’s not going to work on me,” Ai deadpanned. “Where are you guys going this time?” 

“—To the aquarium,” Nagisa admitted, pushing his pointer fingers together. “We were actually supposed to go there on our first—when we first met, but it’s kind of my fault that we didn’t go then. And I would’ve asked Rei-chan if we could reschedule, but…things happened the last time we met, and I…” His cheeks warmed. “…I want to see him as soon as possible.” After observing him, Ai let out a small sigh.

“—You’re going to replace _all_ the dishes?” he asked teasingly. 

“Heyyy…” When Nagisa pouted, Ai laughed.

“I’m kidding, Hazuki-kun—I’ll replace what I broke. And we can start cleaning when you get back from class on Thursday.” 

“Ehhh—but my classes end so late then!” Nagisa whined, slumping over on his couch. “Let’s do it over the weekend!” 

“A weekend spent cleaning?” Ai wrinkled his nose. “Oh well—I have classes from the morning on Friday, now that I think about it. We’ll do it Saturday, then.” His eyes twinkled with humor. “Unless you plan on staying out late or…?”

“I’m not!” Nagisa insisted, throwing a cushion at his roommate. Rolling his eyes, he was just about to get himself a glass of water when his phone rang in his back pocket. When he saw who was calling, Nagisa blinked curiously before picking up. “Hello?” Tucking the phone next to his ear, Nagisa mouthed ‘Saturday!’ to Ai before trotting towards his room. 

“Hi, Dad,” he started, once he’d closed the door behind him. “How’ve you been?” He smiled as he leaned against the wall, listening to his father’s voice. “Yeah, I’ve been doing all right—classes are fine—the weather’s not exactly full-blast summer yet—mhm—” He walked to his bed and sat down, continuing his conversation. 

Due to his work, Nagisa’s father was almost always abroad—since he was busy traveling from place to place, they ended up talking on the phone only once a month or so. They’d been a lot closer when Nagisa was little, but it wasn’t as if their relationship now was terrible. He knew his dad—well enough to notice that his voice seemed a little different than it had just last month. 

“So, Dad—what did you want to talk about?” he asked eventually, out of curiosity. “You sound kind of—excited, nervous? Did something happen?” For a while, the other end of the line was silent—before his father replied. 

After hearing his words, it was Nagisa’s turn to grow silent. His irises wavered in his eyes until he remembered that he was on the phone—even though no one was around to see, his lips lifted in a smile that wasn’t genuine.

“—Oh. That’s—that’s great, Dad!” Incrementally, his hand tightened around the pink metal. “I’m really happy for you—congratulations!” His other hand clenched around the folds of his bedspread. “Did you tell nee-chan yet? Oh—I’m the first of us to know?” A cold, uncomfortable feeling started to swell at the pit of his stomach. 

“That’s—that’s silly, Dad. Why would they be mad at you? Uh huh—I think maybe, you should wait a bit before telling Mom, though—” Nagisa hoped he sounded as congratulatory as his words were supposed to be. “I—uh—I have to go to class soon, Dad. Yeah, it’s a late evening course—sorry I couldn’t talk long. But I really do feel happy for you. Yeah, I love you too, Dad. Good night.”

 

Only when he’d hung up did Nagisa let the smile on his face drop.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff and some angst on the horizon (semi-evil laugh)
> 
> As always, feedback and constructive criticism is much appreciated :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their date to the aquarium, Rei notices something is off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been looking forward to posting this chapter for a while. Hope you enjoy!

_[“Good morning, viewers of KYOANI TV. This is Amakata Miho, reporting the weather. Currently, it is twenty-seven degrees outside—”]_

“How could _I_ have made a mistake like this?!” With the TV sounding in the background, Rei was running around his apartment, desperately trying to flatten his hair as he grabbed his bag. “To think that I overslept because of _heart palpitations_ —”

_[“—a mildly warm day with sunshine and clear skies in the Kanto region. However, it is raining up further north—“]_

“—and now I’m going to be _ten whole minutes late!”_ Rei was exclaiming in misery, as he checked his wristwatch for the fifth time in a minute. “God, I hope Nagisa-kun arrives slowly!” He made a beeline for the genkan, where he toed on his shoes and grabbed his key from its hook on the wall.

 _[“—so we may see some unexpected showers in the afternoon. Don’t forget to take your umbrella!”]_ the weather reporter said, just as the door of the apartment slammed shut.

 

* * *

 

 _[‘—this stop is Seika, Seika Station. The doors are to your left.’]_

Only when the announcement rang for the second time was Nagisa jerked out of his daze. He blinked owlishly—he hadn’t even realized that he’d been spacing out. When the doors opened, he trailed out after the other passengers—the usual bounce absent from his steps.

Thanks to not missing his station, Nagisa arrived at the meeting spot fifteen minutes early. Thinking that Rei would probably get there in five minutes ( _‘Acting ten minutes before the promised time is a given, Nagisa-kun!’_ ), the blond tugged absently at his backpack straps and leaned against the small clock tower near the ticket box. When twenty minutes passed and Rei still didn’t show up, Nagisa’s eyes began to cloud. 

“Rei-chan wouldn’t not show up—would he?” He reached into his backpack to check his phone when a voice called to him from a distance.

“Nagisa-kun!” Turning, the blond saw Rei running towards him with a guilty look on his face. Stopping in front of Nagisa, the taller man stooped slightly to catch his breath. “I’m so sorry I’m late!” he apologized. “And a whole five minutes at that—I overslept and woke up ten minutes _after_ the alarm, I know it’s not beautiful and completely unlike myse—” 

“Woah, woah—slow down, Rei-chan, it’s okay!” Nagisa reassured him, eyes clearing up. “It’s just five minutes—I’ve made you wait _way_ longer before. This is nothing!” 

“Still—” Rei looked up at him questioningly. “I texted you thirty minutes earlier to tell you—did you not see it?” 

“You did?” Frowning with puzzlement, the smaller man reached into his bag. “I could’ve sworn my phone didn’t ring—” When he flipped his phone open, he realized what the problem was. “—Oh. It’s not charged.” He rubbed his head sheepishly and Rei gave him a look of mild disapproval.

“What would you have done if we couldn’t find each other, Nagisa-kun? I wouldn’t even have been able to call you—”

“Aw, Rei-chan, it’s not like this clock tower’s super invisible,” Nagisa replied lightly, gesturing towards the structure above him. “I guess I was a little spaced out yesterday. Forgot to stick the charger in it!” He laughed, rubbing the back of his head. 

Something about his demeanor felt a little off to Rei.

“—Are you sure you’re not angry?” Nagisa blinked.

“Of course not. I already said it’s fine, didn’t I?” Rei scratched his cheek tentatively.

“I don’t know—for a moment I thought you were holding back on something.” He smiled sheepishly, and Nagisa inhaled with surprise. “Perhaps I was imagining it—I did get less sleep than usual last night.”

“Why?” The smaller man hopped towards Rei curiously. “Were you studying for something?” Rei shook his head.

“I um—I was just, anticipating today.” A soft blush spread across his face. “Actually—I’ve been anticipating it since Tuesday.” Now Rei was fumbling his glasses. “I, I hope you don’t mind.” Recalling their phone conversation that day, Nagisa smiled shyly.

“Of course not.” He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. “Um, so—wanna go in?” 

“Yes—yes, of course!” Clearing his throat, Rei headed towards the entrance with gusto. “Come on, Nagisa-kun!” With a laugh, the blond hurried forward to fall in step beside him.

 

* * *

 

Due to the time of day and week, the aquarium did not have many visitors yet. Inside, Rei marveled at the glass walls containing sea blue water and colorful fish.

“So _this_ is Seika Aquarium,” he murmured with awe. 

“You haven’t been here before, Rei-chan?” Nagisa asked, cocking his head.

“No—I don’t think I’ve visited an aquarium since grade school,” Rei replied, looking around with a touch of nostalgia. 

“Ah—it can’t be that you used to think fish were illogical or something?” 

“I didn’t!” protested Rei, and Nagisa giggled. “Fish are different—they’ve evolved to survive in the water! Humans _didn’t!”_

“Ah—I see clownfish!” Tugging on Rei’s wrist, Nagisa pointed towards an area dominated by moving flashes of orange and white. “Let’s go, Rei-chan!” 

“Wait—are you _listening?”_ Shaking his head affectionately, the taller man let Nagisa drag him forward.

 

They spent almost two hours walking through the complex, Nagisa pointing out fish and telling Rei what he knew about them. Though he’d only started living in Tokyo two and a half years ago, the blond had visited Seika Aquarium several times already. While Rei seemed a little dubious about some of his explanations (“They eat all of their husbands and poop them out as eggs after dinner!” “…Are you sure that’s biologically accurate?”), he did laugh at almost all of Nagisa’s fish impersonations, for which the smaller man felt proud. 

Without realizing it, Nagisa was starting to forget about the second phone call from Tuesday—until he and Rei arrived at a long underwater tunnel sealed with glass. 

“Amazing,” the taller man whispered, eyes wide and taking in all the marine life around him. Vibrant beds of coral and emerald green seaweed lined the bottom of the giant pool. Overhead swam schools of fish in all shapes and sizes, casting fleeting shadows on the sand. When a large hammerhead shark swam past them, Nagisa pulled at Rei’s arm and pointed.

“Look, it’s Rin-chan!” He laughed, and Rei couldn’t help but snort as well.

“If you mean the teeth, I’m very much inclined to agree.” 

“Huh—but his eyes look a little similar, too! Don’t they?”

“What— _that’s_ the feature you were comparing?!” While Nagisa was laughing at a surprised Rei, a large shadow fell over their heads. They looked up, and the blond’s eyes brightened.

“It’s the killer whale!” With a delighted skip forward, Nagisa pressed his hands against the glass wall, craning his neck up. “It really _is_ huge, after all!” 

“It truly is a grand sight,” Rei marveled from behind him. “I remember when I saw a killer whale for the first time—”

“Mama, Papa, look! A killer whale!” They turned to see a family of three standing near them. A little girl was standing between her parents, pressing her face against the glass with awe. “It’s so huge!”

“Careful—if you press your face against the glass like that, they’re going to come and gobble you up!” her father said, grabbing his daughter’s waist playfully. Next to them, her mother batted him on the arm.

“Geez, don’t scare her like that—you have to teach her properly! Akemi, you shouldn’t put your hands on the glass either, it’s dirty!” The girl started laughing and struggling against her father’s arms, her mother watching them with an exasperated smile on her face. 

“It’s heartwarming, isn’t it?” When he heard Rei’s voice, Nagisa started slightly. “Seeing families like that on an outing.” Rei had a nostalgic smile on his face. “It actually reminds me of my own trip to the aquarium with my parents.”

“—Oh. Rei-chan came here with family?” 

“It was when I was little, so yes. We also saw a killer whale that time.” Rei scratched his cheek sheepishly. “I kept my face away, but I remember I placed my palms on the glass out of wonder. I also got scolded by my mother for it.” 

“Hmm—that sounds nice.” Briefly, Nagisa wondered if his voice sounded natural.

“If I remember correctly, we were visiting in honor of my parents’ wedding anniversary,” Rei continued. “My older brother couldn’t come because he was at a friend’s birthday party—my parents were supposed to be in the spotlight, yet I felt like I was being spoiled like an only child.” The brunet blinked. “—Wait. Now that I think about it, today _is_ their wedding anniversary!” Immediately, he tugged off his backpack and started rummaging for his phone. “To think that I forgot, as their son—this isn’t beautiful!” He glanced up at Nagisa apologetically. “I’m sorry, Nagisa-kun—would you excuse me for just one second?”

“Sure thing, Rei-chan.” After Rei turned around to make his call, Nagisa’s eyes wandered back up. The killer whale was now gliding before his eyes, propelling itself forward with easy flicks of its tail. Its black and white form cast a shadow that swallowed the blond’s entire form. As it swam around the tunnel, a thought occurred to Nagisa.

 _I really am small._

“Nagisa-kun!” And then he looked up, and Rei was smiling down at him. “Sorry for the wait. Shall we continue?” Nagisa stared at him for a moment, before smiling.

“Yeah!” Behind him, the killer whale swam away, towards the light rippling against the water.

 

* * *

 

“Wow, you’re still dripping wet, Rei-chan!”

 

Two hours later, Nagisa and Rei were nearing the section of the aquarium with the penguins. After stopping to have lunch, they’d gone to the outdoor stage area to watch the dolphin show. Unfortunately, Rei had been drenched by the dolphins’ enthusiastic performance, though Nagisa had avoided the worst of the splash. Grimacing, the taller man was squeezing some water from the hem of his shirt. 

“This is _not_ beautiful,” he sniffed, proceeding to pat his face with his butterfly handkerchief. “I was positive that our choice of higher seating would prevent us from being splashed so ungracefully—”

“Dolphins can jump real high, you know?” Nagisa chirped. “It’s okay, Rei-chan—everything should dry in a few minutes under the sun.”

“We’re obviously headed inside at the moment,” Rei deadpanned. “And _you_ can say that because you used me as a human shield! _You_ didn’t get as thoroughly drenched as I did!”

“Aw, Rei-chan!” Feigning innocence, the smaller man looked up at Rei with wide eyes. “Did you _want_ to see me get drenched thoroughly?” 

“Wha—th-that’s _not_ what I meant!” Even though he was soaked, Rei’s face was a beet red, and Nagisa giggled. After the younger man dried off to the best of his abilities, they entered the penguin house together. 

“Rei-chan, look—it’s the Iwatobi penguin!” Hopping over to the exhibit, Nagisa stopped before the glass and pressed his hands against it. “My favorite penguin of all time, remember?”

“Yes, yes—of course I remember,” Rei obliged, but with a fond look in his eyes. Now that he saw the penguins and Nagisa together, he even thought they resembled each other in a way. Aside from their golden plumes and dark red eyes, the way the birds hopped around everywhere reminded Rei of how lively Nagisa was. In fact, Rei thought Nagisa looked very much at home in the penguin house itself.

“Every time I visit these guys, they remind me of home, you know?” Nagisa was saying, as he smiled through the glass at the rockhopper penguins. “Now I feel kind of homesick—I wish I could see Haru-chan and Mako-chan!”

“You know, you really are rather like a penguin, Nagisa-kun,” Rei found himself saying. 

“What? Really?” The smaller man turned towards him, smile widening. “I love penguins! What about me reminds you of them?” 

“Well—” Coughing, Rei opened one eye. “They hop around everywhere on land, flapping their wings in a rather humorous fashion—they seem incredibly lively, like you are.” Nagisa’s mouth fell open slightly, then closed into a small smile. 

“—Really? What else?” he asked, stepping closer. A little taken back by the question, Rei stroked his chin thoughtfully. 

“Mm—” His eyes lit with a thought. “Well, they are rather small—compared to sea animals like the killer whale, of course.” At that moment, the light in Nagisa’s eyes faltered slightly. 

“Wh—what did you say, Rei-chan?” He laughed a bit forcefully. “Are you picking a fight with me?” In response, Rei chuckled as well.

“Let me finish, Nagisa-kun. They may be smaller in stature—but like the dolphins and killer whales, the penguins are also stars of the aquarium.” Eyes widening, Nagisa looked up at Rei, who was smiling thoughtfully. “They may be smaller than a dolphin or a killer whale, but they always manage to capture the visitors’ hearts. I would say that it’s because their bodies can hardly contain their large personality.” He turned towards Nagisa. “I think that part of them really resembles you.” 

“…I…” At a loss for words, Nagisa’s eyes wandered towards his feet. “—Wow, Rei-chan. That’s—” He laughed a little embarrassedly. “I _have_ been compared to a penguin once—but no one’s ever put it like that before.” Immediately, Rei’s cheeks colored.

“I—um—it’s just my personal impression, though!” he stammered. “You don’t have to read too much into it, if you don’t want to—”

“I think Rei-chan’s the one with a big personality,” Nagisa interrupted. “If you’re like a butterfly, than it’s much, much bigger than that—” He laughed. “Maybe that means Rei-chan is a super-fly!”

“‘S-super—’” the brunet repeated, flustered. “In the end, aren’t you just calling me a fly?”

“Mine isn’t as big as you think, though.” Rei blinked. Nagisa was smiling at him—but there was something strange in the smile.

 

“—Huh?”

 

And just as suddenly as it had come, the moment was gone. With a playful shrug, the smaller man hopped towards Rei as if nothing had happened.

“Putting that aside! Wanna see my Iwatobi penguin impression, Rei-chan?” Pumping his fists, Nagisa hopped back, straightening his arms and palms springing flat. “Watch this!” Puffing his mouth into a beak shape, the blond waddled in place with a newfound gusto. “See? Don’t I look exactly like one, Rei-chan?” 

“Uh?” Taken aback by Nagisa’s sudden change in attitude, Rei took some time to smile back. “Um—I don’t really think I see the resemblance?”

“Whaat? Rei-chan’s so mean! I mean, look a little closer!” Pouting, Nagisa launched into his imitation again. “See?!”

“Mm…I’m not quite sure…” As Nagisa complained in the background, Rei observed him with a puzzled expression.

 

* * *

 

It was around an hour later when they left the aquarium. As they furthered away from the exit, Nagisa was chatting nonstop about their visit.

“—and the seals were so cute, weren’t they?” he was saying, lifting his eyes towards Rei. “—Rei-chan?” When the taller man didn’t respond right away, Nagisa tilted his head quizzically. “Are you listening?” Only then did Rei seem to snap out of his thoughts. 

“Ah—I apologize, Nagisa-kun. What were you saying?” he asked quickly. Instead of replying, Nagisa frowned.

“Are you okay, Rei-chan? You’ve been spacing out for the past hour.” He bit his lip. “It can’t be…that you weren’t having fun?” 

“No—no, of course not!” Rei protested hastily. “I was just—” He hesitated, and Nagisa froze up slightly—something that didn’t escape Rei’s notice. He stopped walking, and Nagisa stopped with him.

“Actually—I do have something to ask you, after all.” Turning, Rei met Nagisa’s eyes with a serious demeanor—and Nagisa fought to not look away. 

“—So you _are_ tired after all, Rei-chan!” he began, with a sympathetic smile. “If that’s the case, we can just call it a day—”

“That’s not it.” Hearing Rei’s firm voice, the blond swallowed. His foot lifted, as if about to take a step backwards. “I was just thinking—” Pausing, Rei smiled tentatively. “That I’d like us to visit one more place today. If it’s okay with you.” 

“—Huh?” Surprised, Nagisa looked up. “One more place?”

 

* * *

 

And that was how Nagisa found himself before a pair of familiar gates, some minutes later. Flanked by trees on either side, with a wooden sign hanging over them—the same scene from around a month and a half ago. 

“Let’s go in, shall we?” Next to him, Rei stepped forward and grabbed one of the door handles. Pushing it open, he held the knob for Nagisa until he followed him inside. When he released it, the door to Takaoka Flower Garden closed with a soft thump.

After paying at a small ticket box near the entrance, they began following the path into the garden. The further in they walked, the more flowers and shrubbery appeared along their steps. Soon, brightly colored petals and emerald green leaves surrounded them everywhere, along with the fragrance of a season between spring and summer. 

“It’s really pretty…” Nagisa trailed off in awe, taking in the scenery. 

“Isn’t it?” agreed Rei. “I’ve frequented this place since I was a child—it’s somewhat smaller than the average flower garden, but I’ve always found this place especially beautiful.” 

“Really? It’s been ages since I’ve been to a flower garden—oh! There’s a lake, too!” The smaller man ran forward, Rei following behind at a normal pace. In the lake swam two ducks, with a line of yellow ducklings trailing behind them. Nagisa’s eyes sparkled as he observed them, legs bent in a crouch. “They’re so cute!” 

“You’re going to fall into the lake like that, Nagisa-kun,” Rei’s voice chided from behind him.

“Aw, but I can swim, Rei-chan!” Looking up, Nagisa grinned at Rei. “When you fall in, I’ll save you too!” 

“—You’re assuming that I _will_ fall in?” Thinking he really shouldn’t be melting over such words, Rei cleared his throat. “Come on—there’s something I’d like to show you.” 

“What is it?” 

“You’ll see. It’ll take a walk to the other side of the lake, but—” That was when Rei felt something cold drop onto his head. “…Huh?” Even as his hand moved towards his hair, more drops began to rain down from the sky. 

“It’s raining!” squeaked Nagisa, jumping up. “Do you have an umbrella?” 

“I left mine at home!” replied Rei, shielding his glasses with his hand. “What about you?”

“Me too!” As the rain began to fall harder, Nagisa said, “Let’s take cover!” Grabbing Rei’s wrist, he ran for the nearest tree visible.

 

They took shelter under its branches, waiting for the sudden downpour to subside—but after ten minutes, it still showed no signs of letting up. If anything, the drops were drumming harder into the ground—what had been a dry garden path just minutes earlier was now quickly becoming a trail of mud. 

“It sure is coming down hard,” Nagisa observed, looking at the pale grey sky. “When did those clouds even come out?” 

“Tokyo has always been a city of unpredictable showers.” Rei made a face as he squeezed the rain out of his shirt. “Nevertheless, I forgot my umbrella on my way out—good graces, how many times am I supposed to get soaked today?” 

“I guess it’s fate, then!” the blond commented, with a teasing grin. Rei snorted dubiously.

“Setting aside whether ‘fate’ exists or not, I highly doubt that’s the case.” Nagisa pouted.

“Rei-chan’s stingy!”

“Who’s stingy?!” 

After this exchange, they stood in silence, watching it rain over the garden. Even though the paths themselves were muddy, Nagisa noticed that the flowers looked even fresher with raindrops beading on their petals. They seemed to shine even under a grey sky—Nagisa could understand why Rei would visit this garden often.

“Hey, Rei-chan. What was it that you wanted to show me?” he asked. Looking down, Rei smiled casually.

“You’ll have to wait until the downpour lifts. They’re on the other side of this lake anyhow, so—”

“Why don’t we just make a run for it, then?” 

“In this downpour?” Rei looked at Nagisa as if he was insane. “It’s true that this garden is on the small side, but the other side of the lake is still a significant distance away—”

“That’s why we’ll have to hurry, won’t we?” Leaving no time for protests, Nagisa placed a death grip on Rei’s wrist. “Let’s go, Rei-chan!” 

“Wait—what do you mean, ‘let’s g’— _ah!!”_ A startled scream left Rei’s mouth as he was tugged out from under the tree. 

Soon, he was being dragged down the muddy path, rain pelting down on his skin and clothes. Nagisa was running ahead of him, eyes sparkling boyishly as he laughed. 

“Doesn’t this totally bring back old memories, Rei-chan?!” he called over his shoulder. “You running on your high school track, and me running with Haru-chan to the swimming club when we were little!”

 _“Excuse me?!”_ an undignified squawk answered. “None of those days included a downpour, _none!!_ And currently my shoes are muddy and my clothes are soaked all over again and this is most _certainly_ not beauti— _why are you laughing, Nagisa-kun?!”_

“Aw, c’mon, Rei-chan! What’s getting drenched once or twice or three times?!” Nagisa’s voice rang cheery, over the sounds rain and of footsteps squishing the mud. “We’ll just have to get to the other side in a flash! You’re a former track athlete, aren’t you? Don’t run like a snail!” He grinned teasingly at Rei over his shoulder, white teeth showing—and Rei’s eyes widened a fraction. Then—

“Perhaps we _will_ , if you can keep up, Nagisa-kun.” 

“Huh?” Before Nagisa knew it, Rei’s harried steps were transforming into a full run—and a very fast one at that. His jaw dropped as the brunet sped forward, passing him—now Nagisa was the one being pulled around the lake. Struggling to keep up, the shorter man called to Rei in a breathless voice.

“Wait—Rei-chan—slow—down!” he panted. When Rei looked over his shoulder, he closed one eye in a smug wink.

“No match for a former track athlete, are we? Hazuki-san!” Nagisa’s mouth dropped open—then transformed into a smile, despite his ragged breath.

“We’ll see about that!” His steps gained a new energy as he tried his best to match Rei’s pace.

 

Whether because of their running or their playful banter, Nagisa and Rei soon found themselves at the lake’s opposite side. Once their feet came to a stop and Nagisa caught his breath, he looked up at his surroundings—and his eyes rounded.

“Rei-chan—are these—?” Behind him, Rei nodded proudly, pushing his wet glasses up his nose.

“Behold—the camellia garden!” From the several trees and shrubs around them, camellias were blooming in red, pink, and white. Their petals looked lush and dewy, giving off a flowery fragrance that melded well with the scent of the rain. 

“No way—there’s so many of them!” Eyes sparkling, Nagisa ran towards one of the shrubs, kneeling to examine its flowers. “They’re so pretty, too!” His hand reached out to carefully feel a flower’s petals, smooth and soft under his fingertips. “And they smell so nice!” He nuzzled the tip of his nose against the petals, delighting in their scent. 

“They _are_ beautiful, aren’t they?” Rei agreed enthusiastically. “Had the garden been open on our first date, I would have escorted you here in sunny weather.” 

“But they’re so pretty under the rain, too!” Nagisa smiled at the blossoms before him—red camellias that seemed a rosy magenta in their current lighting. His clothes were thoroughly soaked as well, his shoes just as muddy as Rei’s—but he didn’t seem to mind in the least. Rainwater dripped from the tip of his golden bangs, down his button nose and past his flushed cheeks. A drop slid against the outline of his slightly chapped lips, before dripping off his chin and sliding down his exposed neck, down his collarbone and under his white shirt—

And Rei realized, a little late, that the parts that clung to Nagisa’s skin were see-through. He averted his eyes as quickly as he could, a wave of heat washing over his face.

“E-even so, I believe we should enjoy them from under the shelter of a tree!” he barked, pointedly looking anywhere but Nagisa. “For reasons of health and practicality!!” 

“Eehh?” Oblivious to Rei’s discomfort, the smaller man pouted. “Oh well—I guess we should really dry off, huh? I still wanna flower-watch, though—” His eyes searched for a tree with a good vantage point, and locked on one a few yards away. “There it is!”

 

A moment later, Rei and Nagisa stood under the tree’s branches, squeezing as much water out of their clothing as they could. Their shoes were off and to the side, soles propped against the trunk. That did mean their feet were stepping on mud, but both of them agreed that it felt much better than having muddy shoes on over equally muddy socks. 

“Honestly, you’re too reckless, Nagisa-kun! Dragging someone into a downpour like this—” After wringing the hem of his shirt, Rei moved to squeeze rain out of his sleeves as well. “What will you do if we both catch a cold?” 

“But you got fired up in the middle of our run, didn’t you?” Nagisa pointed out. “All I did was call you slow and you were all like _‘I must run faster than the wind to preserve my honor as a track god!_ ’” His voice deepened with the imitation, as he pretended to push his invisible glasses up with a hand.

“I certainly did _not_ say that!” a flustered Rei retorted. “And what do you mean by ‘track god’? Honestly…” Not missing how his blush deepened, Nagisa’s grin turned cheeky.

“You secretly like being called that, don’t you, Rei-chan?”

“I—I do not! Like anything of the sort!” Watching Rei fumble obviously with his glasses made Nagisa laugh.

“Anyways—it really is beautiful here,” he said, eyes traveling over the camellia bushes and trees. “This is why you wanted to come here today, right?” Beside Nagisa, Rei jumped slightly.

“H-how did you—” he stammered, and Nagisa smiled.

“The day we first met, you said you wanted to show me the camellias. ‘Cause they match my eyes or something like that!” While Rei choked on his renewed embarrassment, Nagisa noticed something at his feet. “And would you look at that!” Reaching down, he picked up a red camellia that had probably been rained off one of the shrubs. Its petals still looked fresh and bright—tucking it behind his ear, Nagisa turned to Rei with a grin. “What do you think, Rei-chan? Does it really match my eyes?”

“I—I can’t believe you remembered that—” mumbled Rei, reluctantly lowering his hand. “And that—well—” He swallowed under Nagisa’s rosy, expectant stare. “I-It’s difficult to tell under the shade, so—”

“Eeeh?” A little disappointed, Nagisa turned away with a pout. “Even though you were the one who said that first—” His hand reached up, played with the lock of hair next to his ear almost sullenly. A drip of water fell from the tip, dripping onto his collarbone. His cheeks were puffed up slightly, skin pale but also rosy from the cold. 

“—You’re beautiful.” The words came when Nagisa least expected them. “E-even under the shade, I can tell that at least. So…” The blond’s eyes widened slowly—they looked up at Rei, who was looking away. His ears were a blazing red, even more crimson than the camellia in Nagisa’s hair. Maybe it was because of that, or Rei’s personality in general—but Nagisa knew that he meant it. 

“O-oh…” Heart pounding hard, his eyes fell to his bare feet as well. His own cheeks didn’t feel so cold anymore. All he could think of as a response was a barely audible “Thank you”, and afterwards, only the sounds of rain were filling in the silence. 

“—Nagisa-kun,” Rei said finally, with a determination in his voice. “I—” _Brr._ When a vibrating noise came from his backpack, the two of them gave a start. 

“Ah! Phone call?” Nagisa commented, a little loudly. “You should get that, Rei-chan!” 

“Ah—yes—” Taking his phone out, Rei flipped it open. “Oh—it’s a text from my mother.” 

“What does it say?” 

“She’s asking whether I can join her and Father at dinner today.” It was then that Nagisa remembered about the Ryuugazakis’ wedding anniversary. 

“—Oh.” Pulling on a smile, the blond asked, “Are your parents having a nice date?” Rei shrugged.

“Mother sounded pretty cheerful when I called earlier—they were at a photo sticker booth taking purikura, can you believe it?” He shook his head in a motherly fashion, but Nagisa could tell there was fondness in the gesture. “Even though they’re nearing sixty, they still act like a teenage couple sometimes. Honestly…” 

“Oh—that’s great!” Even as he spoke, Nagisa knew there was no heart in his words. “They’re planning on having something delicious, aren’t they? Lucky!” When the taller man put away his phone without responding, Nagisa blinked. 

“Why didn’t you message them back, Rei-chan?” Clearing his throat, Rei turned towards him.

“I actually wanted to ask you something first,” he said. “I did want to show you this garden, but I also was hoping we could talk in a peaceful environment. Nagisa-kun—are you sure there’s nothing you’d like to tell me?”

“—Huh?” 

“You seemed a little off since we met up—at first, I thought I was imagining things, but then—” _‘Mine isn’t as big as you think, though.’_ Rei’s puzzled frown deepened. “I realized that you do really seem a little different than usual, and I wanted to know why.” 

“Th-that’s—” Feeling his heart leap into his throat, Nagisa averted his eyes. “I—I don’t know what you’re talking about, Rei-chan—”

“Is it something that I did?” The question made Nagisa’s head snap back up. “If I did something to put you off without knowing, then I’d like to know all the more—”

“You’re wrong!” the blond burst out. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Rei-chan! You didn’t—” He bit his lip. Anxiety brewed at the pit of his stomach, words fought against his throat to be vomited out. _You’re not being fair to Rei-chan,_ a voice chided inside his head. _You’re not—_

 

Just as Nagisa began to feel sick, a pair of hands gently squeezed his.

 

“I don’t know what you’re worried about, Nagisa-kun,” Rei said, mustering up all the earnestness he could in his voice. “Just—I’m here, if you need someone to talk to.” His voice became soft. “I care about you very much.” It was a simple sentence—and yet, it wasn’t. Tears pricked at the back of Nagisa’s eyes, as he felt some of the clamminess being washed away by warmth. 

“It’s—it’s stupid,” he stammered in a choked voice, blinking hard. “It shouldn’t bother me come now—”

“It’s not stupid,” Rei said firmly. “I’ve never once thought anything you said was stupid. And I won’t now.” He released one of Nagisa’s hands, and the smaller man brushed his arm across his eyes gratefully.

“E-even what I said about clownfish pooping their mates out as eggs?” he couldn’t help but crack, with a wavering smile. 

“Well—” Rei wrinkled his nose. “I wouldn’t exactly call that ‘stupid’—‘disturbingly creative’ would be a more suitable term.” Even amidst holding back tears, Nagisa huffed out a laugh.

“You and your vocabulary, Rei-chan…” Rei didn’t reply, but gave Nagisa’s hand another comforting squeeze. Nagisa knew he was waiting—would wait patiently—until he was ready to talk. And after a few moments, he did.

“You know how you called me about the aquarium on Tuesday?” When Rei nodded, he went on. “Well, I got another call on the same day. From my dad.” His eyes glowed sadly. “He told me he was going to get remarried soon.” 

“—Oh.” Rei’s voice was quiet, with a hint of understanding. Sniffing, Nagisa went on. 

“It’s been years since my parents got a divorce. They split up when I started junior high.” He leaned against the trunk of the tree. “Dad didn’t use to be as busy as he is now—when I was little, he was just a regular salaryman, and Mom used to work too. But then he got promoted, and he had to start traveling abroad a lot. Since I was a handful as a kid and she could afford to, Mom quit work and started staying at home. She said things would get better for us now that Dad was earning more—and they did. But they also didn’t.” The blond’s fingers curled against the bark. 

“Our family values are ‘get a good education, go to a good college, and get a stable job’. Since Mom and Dad had it hard when they were young, they both wanted me to go to a private middle school, so I could walk the road to financial stability.” He smiled a little. “Even though he can be strict, I’ve always admired Dad—I thought that maybe, if I could become someone like him, studying so hard wouldn’t be so bad. So I did what he told me to—I got into one of the best private middle schools in Iwatobi and started studying hard every day. But then, we found out.” Nagisa’s eyes clouded. “He was having an affair with one of his co-workers abroad. And even years before that happened, he and Mom weren’t getting along.” 

“At first, I really hated him for it—if my sisters and I felt betrayed, then I thought it would be a real slap to Mom’s face. But when the divorce finally went through, Mom actually looked relieved.” Nagisa swallowed. “I mean, she couldn’t have felt happy about it, obviously, and she did worry about me and my sisters too—but she told us that it would’ve happened sooner or later. More than anything, I think she felt bad for springing it on us so suddenly.” He gave a hollow laugh. “It’s weird, isn’t it? Things weren’t working out between them for years, and I never noticed. Even though they both had to work hard, they looked so happy together when they were young—I thought they were meant to be together. Even though their history wasn’t anything glorious or fancy—I really thought it was fate for them.” 

“…I see,” Rei murmured quietly. Nodding, Nagisa went on.

“I think that was when I really started becoming scared. I mean, I was kind of a scaredy-cat from the beginning, but it got harder and harder to tell my parents how I feel. I never told them I felt angry or sad about their divorce—or anything else I felt, really. I probably would’ve gone to a private high school too, if Mom hadn’t noticed how much I hated my middle school years.” He sniffed. “I thought that I could change myself if I went to Iwatobi High. And I was happy to be around Haru-chan and Mako-chan again. But even when I was sad, or angry, or feeling negative at all, I just—sort of pretended to laugh it off. I’m Hazuki Nagisa—always cheerful, always loud, always energetic. That was how I should always be, right?” 

“Nagisa-kun—that’s—” 

“Silly, I know.” Nagisa laughed. “No one ever told me I had to be like that—in the end, maybe it was just me who wanted to be like that. Not saying how I really feel, pretending nothing’s wrong—in the end, those things ended up sticking as habits. With my family, my friends—and even with the people I dated.” His hand scratched his cheek embarrassedly. 

“None of my romantic relationships before worked out—and if I think about it now, it’s not a mystery why. Even with the people I wanted to be closest to, I ended up not being able to say what I really felt. Even though I told them I loved them, even though I thought it was fate every time, they ended up leaving me. It’s because I was never brave enough. I’d always cover up conflicts with smiles and jokes—I never started any confrontations, and even if they tried to, I tried my best to avoid them.” Nagisa’s eyes watered. “After all, the last time my parents were honest with each other, they ended up leaving each other. I was scared that we’d end up like them too. But even though I thought I was trying my best, the only thing I did was make myself a stranger. They only ever knew the ‘cheerful’ side of me, and it was all my fault.”

“I even thought maybe—” Nagisa paused, roughly wiping his hand across his eyes. “Maybe I didn’t really know how to love someone else in the first place. Maybe that was why I always went on about fate—because I was always looking for a sign that this relationship would be different, this one was guaranteed to last forever. Maybe that’s why I’m so attached to ‘fateful encounters’ and things like that.” His voice grew shaky. “In reality, I’m just superficial. Even when Rin-chan told me you wanted to ask me out on a date, I was secretly thinking that I wanted a more ‘meaningful’ meeting. I assumed that I wouldn’t enjoy your company at all—that it would just be awkward and the worst day ever. And I hardly even _knew_ anything about you.” 

“Nagisa-kun, I—”

“But you turned out to be different. You were smart, and funny, and thoughtful, and one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met…!” Nagisa babbled. “And much, much braver than I ever was. And to think I was this close to never really meeting you because of something stupid…!” Next to him, Rei inhaled with surprise. “I—I don’t know how you came to like me, but at the least, I want you to know how I really am before—before you sign yourself up for something you don’t want…” Wiping his tears roughly, Nagisa choked back a sob as he continued. “I don’t want you to regret meeting me, Rei-chan—you’re one of the best things that ever happened to me but I’m probably not the person you thought I was and—”

 _“Nagisa-kun!”_

Rei’s tone commanded Nagisa’s attention—at once, the words on his tongue faded. 

“Please listen. For one thing, I don’t regret meeting you at all. And for another—” He scratched his cheek sheepishly. “This is going to sound strange, but I already came to the realization. That you’re not the person I thought you were. But!” he hurried, as hurt seeped into Nagisa’s eyes. “In a good way! And much earlier than you know.” 

“…Huh?” Seeing the confusion on Nagisa’s face, Rei’s own expression grew complicated. “What do you mean…”

“It’s a little complex, and I don’t want to confuse you more than I have to—so I’ll explain some details later, when I have the chance.” Taking a deep breath, Rei met Nagisa’s eyes. “Do you remember how I said, on the first date, that I would tell you how I fell for you when we grew closer?” He cleared his throat a little shyly. “Well, I hardly planned for it to be today, but I suppose now would be a good time.” Hearing these words, Nagisa’s attention perked up, and he heightened his focus on Rei.

“As you know, I only saw you from a distance until relatively recently. I believe it was about a year ago or so when I first did—I'd just started college and reunited with Rin-san, and I suppose that was about when he reunited with you as well. Since you tended to show up at our college so often, I actually caught sight of you frequently." Nagisa blinked with confusion.

"But I don't remember seeing you a lot," he replied, puzzled. "Except a few times, when you were walking with Rin-chan to class—"

"And you noticed that I'd always tend to disappear before you could come close, didn't you?" Rei pushed up his glasses sheepishly. "It was the same when I was the one to spot you first—I tried my best to avoid running into you." Nagisa’s eyes widened.

“—You fell for me at first sight, Rei-chan?" he asked in awe.

"Huh?! No!" Flushing, Rei let his hand linger over his jaw. "You must understand that I'm not the most sociable person on Earth—and, well, I’ve had more than my fair share of enemies during my previous school years,” he admitted. “And from my first few impressions of you, you seemed rather—excitable.” He coughed. “I assumed that you weren’t the type of person I would get along with, but at the same time, you were Rin-san’s friend. So I thought it would be best to keep my distance.” 

“‘Excitable’?” Nagisa repeated, in an imitation of Rei’s tone. “So you really _did_ want to avoid me.” He pouted slightly in disappointment. “Rei-chan’s so cold…” 

“That’s—it isn’t like that _now!_ ” Rei said hurriedly. “And besides—even when things were like that, you were so hard to avoid!” He threw up his hands helplessly, and Nagisa would’ve found it funny if he himself weren’t the topic. “You’d always come to visit Rin-san, so you were always in the area around our college—I sometimes wondered if you even attended your classes properly!” 

“Why can’t I visit my good childhood friend occasionally?” asked Nagisa, pout deepening. “And besides, I was probably feeling homesick then—Rin-chan’s the only person in Tokyo I know from Iwatobi, after all!” 

“—But thanks to that, I really learned more about you than I intended to,” Rei continued, after giving Nagisa an apologetic look. “Things like your favorite ice cream flavor, your interest in penguins and history—” He scratched the nape of his neck sheepishly. “Even if I didn’t want to pay attention, you were either extremely loud or eye-catching. And, how can I say it—I suppose seeing you grew into something of a routine.” He lowered his hand. “I always found myself thinking that you were an illogical person. You’d do things that I couldn’t understand—eat a whole pan of pizza in one sitting _and_ dessert, call _everyone_ ‘–chan’ _including_ strangers, wear _way_ more neon than the average person, press your face against store windows like a child, climb onto the playground monkey bars in the middle of the night and start _singing_ —”

“Oh,” Nagisa interrupted sheepishly. “I was probably drunk when that last thing happened.” Rei snorted.

“I thought so—but judging that it was you, I thought you’d gladly do it again in daylight.” When Nagisa just laughed sheepishly, Rei went on.

“But whenever I saw you, you always seemed happy. And I guess that was what I found most illogical. How could a person be so cheerful all the time?” His hand hovered over the frames of his glasses. “Yet you seemed capable of it—or at least appearing that way. Even in situations where you could have gotten annoyed or angry or sad, you never did. Back then, I always wondered what was going on in your head. Or whether you just didn’t like being honest.”

“—That _does_ sound like Rei-chan.” Nagisa had to fight to keep his smile from wavering. “Always valuing honesty.” 

“So it really startled me when I saw you being sad.” Rei’s voice was soft, and Nagisa looked up with surprise. “You were out in the middle of the park, the very same one we visited on our first date, making yourself visible for every person walking through it—and yet, you were crying very loudly.” He smiled nostalgically. “At first, I thought it was a toddler who scraped his knee or something of the like.” Nagisa blinked.

“I was—crying in the—” Then, it clicked. A wave of heat rushed into his cheeks. “Oh my god—you _saw_ that?” He buried his face in his hands. “That’s so _embarrassing_ —I’m _positive_ I was dripping snot everywhere and everything and I was a total mess and—oh god, you _saw_ that!” His ears were a noticeable pink, and Rei couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“If it helps, I’ve seen your face wet more than once now,” he joked, and Nagisa groaned.

“That’s not the same thing!” The smaller man lifted his face reluctantly. “I can’t believe you—just—promise you’ll forget about it!” The rim of his eyes were currently rosy, and again Rei felt a sense of nostalgia.

“You were a little red under the eyes then, too,” he recalled, remembering Nagisa from over half a year ago. “But the sun was setting, and you were standing a distance away. So maybe your boyfriend really didn’t notice. Your face was dry and you were smiling—a hundred and eighty degrees from where you were just minutes ago.” 

“—You saw the whole thing.” Nagisa’s voice was half-heartedly chiding. “Spying on people breaking up is a bad habit, Rei-chan.” The words did make Rei flush, and he murmured an apology before continuing.

“It was like a scene from a movie. If I’d arrived late and only seen that part of it, I still might have thought that you were superficial.” After thinking, Rei shook his head. “No, it wouldn’t have been just you. Things like love and romance—I’ve always thought they were illogical. Humans are born with communal instincts, and they do seek each other for needs like safety and reproduction—but in the end, aren’t they self-preserving? Why would they do something that causes them pain, in the name of something that makes so little sense? Before, I could never wrap my head around a concept like that. Even so…” Rei turned to face Nagisa. 

“When he said he wanted to leave you, you didn’t run away. Even though you could’ve begged for him to reconsider, you sent him off with cheerful words. And yet, I never thought that any of those actions were superficial. Even if I didn’t think love was logical, I couldn’t ignore what I realized. That if you were truly superficial, you couldn’t have cried so hard before. Even when you were feeling sad, you considered the other person’s feelings, did your best so that they wouldn’t feel as much pain as they could have. And I thought that was very brave of you.” 

“Rei-chan…” As Nagisa stared up at him with surprise, Rei laughed a little.

“You really are something, Nagisa-kun. In the space of less than an hour, you redefined yourself in my eyes completely and caused me to think harder than I ever have. Without even realizing it, you started to change my world. And the more I watched you, the more I felt drawn to you.” He reached over, carefully tucking the flower behind Nagisa’s ear more securely. “Love has always seemed irrational to me, without any correct way to proceed. But you made me think that if it really did have to play a part in my life, then I wanted it to be you.” He lifted his hand away, staring down fondly. 

“You are far more amazing than you give yourself credit for. And even if you can’t be honest all the time—from how I see it, you seem very, very genuine right now.” Before him, Nagisa was blinking back tears and biting his lip, grabbing at the hem of the checked shirt tied around his waist.

“—I really seem that way?” he asked, voice quivering slightly. “I look genuine?”

“Yes. You do.” 

“You’re not just saying that because I’m about to cry?” He managed a half-laugh.

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Nagisa-kun.” Rei was right. And even if he did try, Nagisa knew he’d be able to spot it.

“You do know that my smiles around you are real too?” Rei’s eyes widened, then softened.

“Most of the time, yes. They really are quite beautiful.” Nagisa sniffed, cheeks growing warm. 

“Are you flirting with me, Rei-chan?” he asked, and Rei squeezed his hand. He hadn’t even realized Rei was holding his hand again. 

“That might be my intention.”

“And you do know how much I like being around you?” Now, it was Rei’s turn to blush.

“I believe so. But it wouldn’t hurt to inform me. Periodically, even.” A fist punched him half-heartedly in the arm.

“You’re so lame, Rei-chan!” Nagisa was laughing, but his voice was a little choked.

“I beg to differ!” Rei paused. “I really am sorry for spying on such a private moment. Though my apology is quite late.” 

“It’s all right. That’s all in the past anyways.” Nagisa leaned against the tree, squeezing Rei’s hand. “And we weren’t even friends back then.” 

“Nevertheless.” They stood silently, listening to the rain fall. 

“Nagisa-kun.” Rei spoke after a while. “When do you suppose this rain will stop?”

“Mm…” Nagisa pretended to mull over it. “Maybe never?” 

“Then would you like to do something cliché?” Releasing Nagisa’s hand, Rei stepped forward and turned, with an inviting glance. “How about a dance?” Slowly, Nagisa smiled.

“But won’t that make it your fourth time getting drenched today?” 

“What’s getting soaked once or twice or thrice or four times?” Rei grinned, and Nagisa’s heart fluttered fondly.

“You’re sure you’re not trying to be all romantic when I’m sad and weak?” he teased.

“Maybe I am,” Rei mumbled, with a guilty smile. “But you’re hardly weak, Nagisa-kun.” That made Nagisa smile.

"I don't see why not," he said, taking Rei's hand again.

 

They stumbled together in the rain, Nagisa's fingers curled into Rei's, both of them trying not to let their bare feet slip in the mud. It didn't take long for Nagisa to find out that Rei was a terrible dancer—the giggles that escaped his mouth swelled into laughter with every fumbled maneuver, every miscalculated step and almost-fall. He laughed and laughed again, feeling the wetness on his face, unsure whether they were from the weather or sadness or relief. They twirled together once, before Nagisa lost his footing in the mud. He stumbled into Rei's arms and didn't try to get out, laughing with his cheek against Rei's chest.

 

The sadness was still there, but he didn't feel alone anymore.

 

They stood like that for a while, unmoving, until Nagisa's laughter bubbled away. He could feel Rei's chin resting against his hair—the taller man's arms went around his waist, hugged Nagisa's body towards his. Even though they were soaked to the bone and their legs were muddy, none of that mattered. He put his own arms around Rei’s back, palms resting over his shoulder blades, feeling Rei’s chest rise and fall as he breathed. They’d hugged before—or rather, Nagisa had catapulted himself onto Rei’s shoulders with friendly, spontaneous hugs. Getting one from Rei felt different—even though they were both drenched and freezing, Nagisa felt warm. At ease. Happy. 

“Rei-chan,” he murmured. “You sure are bold today.” He could practically feel Rei blushing.

“Adrenaline rush,” he heard him reply, as if trying to excuse himself. “And actually, I don’t think I’m prepared to face you directly at the moment, so please overlook my attempt to—” His words faded when Nagisa pulled away to stare up at his face. The blond didn’t miss how Rei’s face turned redder, and his own eyes softened fondly. 

Before Rei could pull away while muttering some excuse, Nagisa went on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. When he pulled away, his own face was rosy, and the smile on his face was just as warm. 

“Thank you, Rei-chan,” he said, as genuinely as he could. His eyes sparkled with warmth, and Rei could only stare. 

Even after a whole thirty seconds. It seemed that he’d turned into a statue. Curiously, Nagisa tugged on his sleeve.

“Rei-chan—are you okay?” It was only then that Rei seemed to snap out of his daze.

“Am I o—oh—yes. Yes, I’m grine. Freat. _Great!”_ His face was a tomato red, and his hand tried in vain to mask it. _“Spectacular!_ Thank you.” Nagisa couldn’t help but giggle behind his hand. 

“Want to walk around some more before we leave?” he asked, a spring in his feet as he stepped back. “It looks like the rain’s stopped now.” Blinking, Rei looked up towards the sky. It was still a light grey, but the clouds seemed to be parting for the late afternoon sun. 

“That—” He looked down at his dripping clothing and dirtied pants, then back at Nagisa’s wet face. “That would be wonderful,” Rei said, with a sincere smile. Nagisa beamed.

“Let’s go, then!” His hand reached out to grab Rei’s, tugging him towards the garden path with a laugh.

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure you want to leave now, Nagisa-kun?” After just thirty minutes of flower-watching, Rei and Nagisa found themselves at the garden exit. Now the sun was completely out, and the sky was starting to turn rosy. Nagisa nodded.

“You have that anniversary dinner with your parents, don’t you? You’ll have to go home and clean up first. I don’t want to make you late.” Seeing Rei’s hesitation, the older man laughed and patted him on the arm. “I’ll be fine, Rei-chan—you made me feel a lot better. And I have to talk to my dad, too.” He smiled. “It might not be today, but I do want to congratulate him properly.” 

“I see.” Rei paused. “If you put it that way, then let’s be on our way.” He sounded just a little disappointed—and Nagisa would’ve been lying if he didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t that their trip to the aquarium hadn’t been enjoyable, but he had felt a little down then. After the time they’d spent in the garden, Nagisa felt that he wanted the date to go on. He wanted to stay with Rei a little longer—and as their walk took them closer and closer to the subway, those feelings grew even stronger. 

But Nagisa respected Rei’s parents. Even though he’d never met them before, he could tell from the way Rei talked about them, from the person Rei had grown up to be. They probably loved him very much, and Nagisa didn’t want to keep him from their special evening. So he decided to make a self-compromise. Before they parted ways at the station, Nagisa turned towards Rei.

“Rei-chan—you wanna meet again next week?” He smiled up at Rei with anticipation. “We can go to the park again, or wherever else you want. And I’ll treat you to dinner.” Rei paused for a moment, before a smile spread across his face.

“Of course,” he said. “How does Wednesday sound? Since our classes end in the afternoon.” 

“Perfect,” Nagisa replied, smile softening. He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, fingers brushing against the camellia. They stood in silence for a while, neither of them wanting to move. 

Inside, Nagisa felt words rising to the edge of his throat. He wanted to say something, a lot of things—but he felt strangely skittish inside. 

“Rei-chan—” he began, feeling like he was on the verge of blurting out something important. “I—” His stomach lurched hard, and his palms were suddenly sweaty. Before he could think it through, Nagisa found himself continuing. “—I hope you have a good time with your parents!” he heard himself chirp. That didn’t feel like what he’d wanted to say, but Nagisa was too busy trying to compose himself. Not noticing the change in his demeanor, Rei smiled at him.

“Thank you, Nagisa-kun.” It was then that he looked towards the station. “So, um—we’ll see each other on Wednesday?” The smaller man nodded.

“Wednesday!” he confirmed, hoping his smile didn’t seem suspicious. 

“Wednesday.” Rei nodded. “Then, um—I guess I’ll be going. Don’t forget to dry off properly at home, Nagisa-kun.” He reluctantly stepped towards the subway entrance.

“I will!” Nagisa promised. “See you, Rei-chan!” 

“See you.” With a last smile, Rei made his way down the stairs. Nagisa watched his back until it disappeared around the corner—feeling oddly relieved and disappointed at the same time.

 

When he was inside the station, Rei stopped walking. A hand wandered up towards his cheek, about thirty and some minutes too late. His mouth started to twitch as people made their way past him. It widened into a big smile, and he started to laugh with joy. 

“Yes!” he exclaimed to himself. “Yes— _yes!”_ He placed a hand over his chest, a habit that showed when he was nervous or excited about something. A few people stared as they passed by, but Rei didn’t seem to notice. None of them knew what was going on, but not one of them could miss how happy he seemed.

 

* * *

 

_[The upcoming stop is Takaoka Hospital—Takaoka Hospital. The next stop is Takaoka Elementary—]_

On the bus to his apartment, Nagisa stared out the window at the moving scenery. His eyes caught sight of his own reflection, the reddish-pink blur of the camellia complimenting his burgundy eyes. After brushing the tips of its petals with his fingers, Nagisa let his hand settle on his lap. 

He pulled out his phone from his pocket and rummaged for the spare battery he'd stuck in his bag a long time ago. Once his phone was on, Nagisa opened his address book and clicked on Rei’s contact. His fingers hovered over the keys, eyes staring at the empty message before him. 

_{hey rei-chan,}_ he began. _{today was super fun! i can’t wait for wednesday—}_ He stopped writing, feeling strangely self-conscious. After a while of hesitating, he erased the message and began anew.

 _{sorry for putting a damper on our date, rei-chan. i really did love the aquarium and flower garden though! i’ll make it up to you next time—}_ Again, something about the message didn’t feel right. Rumpling his wet hair with one hand, Nagisa erased the words and tried again.

 _{thanks for today, rei-chan,}_ he typed slowly. _{you were understanding and supportive and i’m—}_

 _I’m glad you were there._ He relived the talk they’d had under the tree in his head, the way they’d attempted to dance in the rain, how nice it had felt to be wrapped in Rei’s arms. Rei’s embarrassed stammers, sure words, warm hand, gentle eyes and smile—

 

_‘If love really did have to play a part in my life, then I wanted it to be you.’_

 

Nagisa’s heart skipped a beat—then another. He realized that he’d basically been confessed to a second time, by the same person. And after Rei hadn’t mentioned his feelings again for so long…

 _He still likes me._ The thought made him feel awed, like he could hardly believe it. Even though he supposed he knew all along… Nagisa shrank into himself, feeling warm and jittery, squirming a little in his seat. 

Why did it have to sink in so late? He could have noticed it right then under the tree—as they tried to dance clumsily in the garden—as they hugged each other—as he was brushing his lips against Rei’s cheek—

He’d kissed Rei, even though it was only on the cheek. Back then, he’d been so overwhelmed with gratitude and warmth that he’d acted before he knew it. Even so—as friendly as he was, Nagisa didn’t kiss friends on the cheek. If he was honest with himself, he’d been attracted to Rei since a long time ago, but he didn’t cross boundaries for mere attraction. He wasn’t a westerner—the only people he’d kissed before were family, and—

 

Immediately, Nagisa’s face turned a brilliant red. 

_Oh._ He recalled the swelling sensation in his throat, before he’d sent Rei off at the subway exit. His fingers hovered over his phone, the unwritten text message blinking up at him like headlights.

 

_I like Rei-chan. A lot._

 

After six months, a part of Nagisa’s world began to move again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations, Rei! Wow, I feel incredibly sappy after proofreading this. Please let me know what you thought :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa plans to make a leap of faith. Until Rin runs his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All those times when Rei wanted to say something but was interrupted...
> 
> Sorry in advance!

After riding five stops past his flat and making the return trip, Nagisa finally arrived home. That night, after showering and nearly tripping in the bathtub, he dried his hair and carefully pressed the camellia into a book. On his bed, he stared at his phone for a long time before falling asleep. 

From his drawer, the stuffed penguins watched silently as he tossed and turned into the early hours.

 

_I really, really like Rei-chan._

 

When he let himself realize it, Nagisa found it unexpectedly simple to accept. It still felt like a dream sometimes, to think someone like Rei had wandered into his life the way he did—but he had, and ever since then, maybe, it was inevitable. Maybe it had been since their second date, when Rei had so earnestly asked to see him again before that crossing. Or even their first, when Nagisa had stepped off his train to ask the same thing. The way they’d met hadn’t been remarkable, and yet, they’d come all this way.

 

Maybe, more than anything, Rei was the remarkable one.

 

As Wednesday neared, Nagisa felt his stomach tie into a series of knots. Now that he knew how he felt, he didn’t see any point in hiding his feelings. Rei had waited patiently over the course of several weeks—he deserved an honest, heartfelt answer. So Nagisa would confess—somewhere that Rei would like, a quiet place where they wouldn’t be gawked at or bothered. Maybe, Nagisa thought, he should prepare a small gift, something thoughtful that Rei might like. And then afterwards, they would become boyfriends—

Boyfriends. The thought sent a thrill of anticipation and excitement through him—and also a fair amount of nervousness. As much as he wished they wouldn’t, Nagisa’s past relationships did still scare him a little. But this was Rei-chan—smart, honest, kind, dorky, awkward, _beautiful_ Rei-chan. Someone who’d seen something special in Nagisa, even from a distance, and reached out to him. If it was for someone like Rei, Nagisa thought that he could be brave again. This time, he decided, he would be the one to reach out and meet Rei halfway.

 

But all the same, that didn’t stop him from feeling jittery about Wednesday.

 

“Rin-chan, I’m gonna need your help!” he found himself half-yelling on Sunday, into his phone. “You’ve _got_ to meet me for lunch tomorrow, okay? Promise?!” 

_[“Goddammit, your voice is too_ loud _!”]_ Rin’s voice huffed from the other end. _[“Have some mercy on a guy’s ears, huh?!_ Geez _—”]_

“Anyways, you _have_ to meet me at the café tomorrow!” Nagisa continued, clapping his hands together pleadingly. “I know you only have an hour between classes but I promise I’ll make it quick! I’ll even buy you lunch! Please?!” 

_[“What’s with you all of a sudden?”]_ There was a sigh from the other end. _[“Well, whatever—it’s gonna cost you a triple-steak sandwich at the least. Get your ass over here at one, then.”]_

“Oh my gosh, _thank you_ , Rin-Rin!” Nagisa squealed gratefully. “I love you so much!” 

_[“Wha—_ ‘Rin-Rin _?!’”]_ At the café near his college, Rin snarled into his phone indignantly. “I told you to stop _calling_ me that, brat—” The beep that answered cut off his words, and his eyes narrowed exasperatedly at the receiver. “He fucking hung up—I can’t _believe_ this kid—” Clicking his tongue, the redhead closed his phone and put it to the side. 

“—So? What’re you looking all gross and up in the clouds for?” Across from him sat Rei, whose face looked like it was made of pudding from how blissfully he was smiling.

“Rin-san…” he said dreamily, eyes showing the beginnings of sparkles. “I think I might be in heaven…” Rin raised a brow.

“You don’t even believe in heaven—or anything religious, ‘cause it’s unscientific and illogical and all that shit.” 

“Love sure is great, isn’t it, Rin-san?” Rei continued, apparently deaf to Rin’s voice. Honestly, the redhead didn’t even know why he was here with his pudding-faced underclassman—it was the weekend of all things, and here he was, barely ten _minutes_ away from his college—

Wait. “Wait.” Rin’s eyes rounded, attention perking up. “Are you saying—there’s been some actual development? With Nagisa?” Rei nodded dreamily, hand rising to his cheek.

“We were at a flower garden the other day,” he reminisced happily. “We danced in the rain—and Nagisa-kun kissed me—” At these words, Rin’s eyebrows shot up so fast that it was a wonder they didn’t fly off his face.

“Wh— _the hell?!”_ He slammed his hands down on the table, shocked and awed. “You should’ve mentioned that in your damn phone call, for Christ’s sake! I thought you were calling me out on a Sunday for some other pointless shit!” 

“It’s not pointless, Rin-san,” Rei murmured absently, the smile on his face widening. “I almost thought it was a dream the next day…”

“Rei, that’s some fucking great _news!”_ laughed Rin, a grin spreading across his face. “Now the two of you are _finally_ getting somewhere—and I was _this_ close to giving up on you bastards!” He reached over to slap Rei on the shoulder. “Congratulations! Now that you’re dating, I can officially take my hands off this whole mess—”

“—Huh?” Blinking, Rei looked at Rin with puzzlement. “I never said anything about dating, Rin-san.” The grin faltered on Rin’s face.

“—Huh?” He stared at the bespectacled man. “But you just said he kissed you—”

“He did,” Rei agreed with a fond smile, stroking his cheek absently. “I was lending an ear to his troubles—and he gave me a kiss on the cheek as thanks.” At these words, Rin nearly fell over in exasperation.

“—Are you telling me,” he began, kneading his forehead with his hand, “That you’ve been sitting there for fifteen minutes looking like you got laid—but all that happened was a _kiss on the damn cheek?”_ Flushing, Rei frowned defensively at Rin.

“You don’t need to be so _vulgar_ , Rin-san—and you may not think it’s a big deal, but for me—”

“That’s not the point!” exclaimed Rin, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “You’ve been dating the guy for over a month now, you’ve had _weeks_ of buildup! You even said the two of you danced in the rain or some other romance movie type of shit! And all he did was _kiss you on the cheek?_ They fucking kiss strangers on the cheek in Europe!” 

“But this is Japan!” Rei mumbled defensively, cheeks pink. “And you weren’t there, Rin-san—the atmosphere was a little different than usual!” He smiled confidently, pushing up his glasses. “If I keep putting in effort, I’m sure that Nagisa-kun will accept my feelings eventually. I have high hopes for the future!” 

“Screw you and your high hopes!” After scratching his head and calming down, Rin sighed and looked at Rei dubiously. “If you keep this up, you’re not going to have much of a future with Nagisa. Your time’s running out, you know?” At these last words, Rei’s face grew a little somber. But after a while, he smiled with meaningful determination. 

“I would be lying if I said it never bothered me before. In the beginning, I definitely did feel rushed by time—that was partly how I even came to act in the first place. But—” His eyes softened. “After I met Nagisa-kun and grew to know him little by little, I realized that time didn’t matter so much anymore. I like the pace that we have in our relationship, now—should he ever return my feelings, I don’t mind how long it takes. What is to come might be a difficult barrier—but I’ll overcome it with my determination and devotion.” He smiled confidently. “Until then, I’ll just have to strive to become someone worthy of Nagisa-kun’s affections!” For a long while, Rin just stared at him silently. Then, his surprise faded and he slumped slightly on the table, sighing tiredly.

“I swear, the two of you are goddamn hopeless.” He frowned. “And what the hell is up with Nagisa? His denial doesn’t usually last _this_ long—” Across the table, Rei frowned as well. 

“Don’t put any odd pressure on Nagisa-kun, Rin-san. I appreciate your concern, but I want us to move at our own pace—”

“With the pace you two are going at, you’ll hit your fifties by the time you start dating,” Rin deadpanned. When Rei gave him a warning look, the redhead sighed. “Fine—if you _really_ want to get hitched at seventy, be my guest.” The younger man smiled.

“Just the possibility is a fairly attractive one, Rin-san.” Rin snorted.

“Too bad you’re not as smooth at flirting.” As Rei flushed and began stammering indignantly, the gears in Rin’s head started turning. 

Technically, he hadn’t promised anything. And as it turned out, he was meeting Nagisa tomorrow. It was unavoidable anyways, he told himself, pretending to listen as Rei launched into a speech about his ‘unappreciated rudeness’.

 

If his friend needed it, he might as well give him that little push.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Nagisa arrived at the corner café earlier than he’d expected. He ordered a drink and pasta, but hardly touched any of his food when it was served to him. He was fidgeting restlessly in his seat when the café door opened and Rin entered.

“Yo,” the redhead said breezily, taking the seat before Nagisa. “If you need to pee or something, you can go.”

“Rin-chan!” Upon seeing his friend, the blond almost exploded with excitement. “You wouldn’t _believe_ what happened on Friday!” His cheeks were rosy and eyes glowing radiantly—interesting, Rin thought, as he observed Nagisa’s demeanor.

“Oh—you mean that super scandalous kiss on the cheek?” He examined his fingernails casually. “Heard all about that from Rei yesterday. That’s some _real_ PDA right there.” Instead of taking the bait, Nagisa blushed even harder.

“You saw Rei-chan yesterday?” He fumbled with the edge of the tablecloth, and Rin was struck with a sense of déjà vu. “Did he…what did you guys talk about?” His eyes were on his plate—which was _full_ of what looked like cold pasta—but Rin could still see how shy they looked. Now, this was a little new—though Nagisa had always seemed happy and shy after each new date with Rei, Rin couldn’t recall him looking quite _that_ flustered. And then, it clicked.

“You like him, don’t you?” he asked bluntly. At his observation, Nagisa’s head snapped up, his lips falling open and eyes widening. Then, without making any denials or comebacks, the blond nodded once, twice, earnestly. A new wave of heat seemed to wash over his face as he did, and his hands curled self-consciously in his lap. 

“I do,” he murmured, as Rin stared. “I like him. A lot.” Then, “Thanks for letting us meet, Rin-chan.” 

Rin’s mouth fell open slightly, then closed, then opened. Then, something between a smile and smirk spread across his face.

“I fucking knew it!” he said triumphantly. “Also, fucking _finally_! Man, I was wondering how long your denial would last!” He smirked across the table at Nagisa. “I _told_ you you’d be thanking me later, brat!” The younger man flushed.

“You didn’t tell me _anything_ —and _Rei-chan’s_ the one who asked you to ask for him!” he protested.

“Small details, small details,” Rin said smugly. “If you like the nerd so much, you should’ve just made out with him on the spot. Whatever happened to the bold, touchy-feely human terror I know, huh?” 

“I—I didn’t realize it until our date ended!” Nagisa’s cheeks were flaming. “And Rei-chan would probably need time, wouldn’t he? Til—well—til we get comfortable with all that touchy-feely stuff…” Rin snickered.

“Looking that far ahead already?” he teased. “Why don’t you think about that stuff after you’ve actually _confessed_ to him, lover boy?” Embarrassed and a little disgruntled, the blond puffed out his cheeks.

“I was just about to bring that up! I’m going to meet Rei-chan on Wednesday, and—I think I’m going to confess then,” he finished shyly. “I want to give him something nice as a gift, too, so—” Eyes pleading, Nagisa leaned across the table towards Rin. “Please give me some advice, Rin-chan! You’re the only one I can ask!” 

“Oh boy,” Rin muttered, a foreboding feeling raking down his spine as Nagisa began talking at a lightning speed.

“The thing is, I don’t think Rei-chan would appreciate a confession with a lot of people around, see? So at first I thought of just calling him out somewhere quiet in the park—but do you think maybe somewhere else is better? I did think about bringing him to my place and inviting him inside for a while, but then Rei-chan might get the wrong idea and he’d be nervous and _I’d_ be nervous and— _Oh,_ and what do you think I should wear, Rin-chan? Rei-chan did say I look nice in that yellow knit shirt I have, but that’s at the cleaners and that’s never gonna get back by Wednesday—oh! Maybe I should wear—” The blond babbled on and on with excitement until Rin could no longer take it and snapped.

“ENOUGH!” he shouted, effectively grabbing Nagisa’s attention. “Who cares about all that—just keep it short and say it before you run out of time! You literally only have a week left before he leaves, god dammit!”

 

Suddenly, a heavy silence settled over the two of them. Rin blinked, running what he’d just said by his head again. 

_Oh. Shit._ Horror dawning on his eyes, the redhead slowly turned them towards Nagisa. The blond looked stunned, his lips fallen apart in confusion.

“—What do you mean, Rin-chan?” Nagisa spoke slowly, voice containing a touch of apprehension. “Who’s leaving where?” He seemed to be hanging on the edge for Rin’s answer. 

“I—uh, I meant—” Internally, Rin cursed his rashness. He’d been so used to lecturing Rei about this that he’d let his mouth run in front of the one person he shouldn’t have. Especially at a time like this…

“What is it, Rin-chan?” urged Nagisa, his voice growing anxious by the moment. “What do you mean I only have a week? Where’s Rei-chan going?” His hand reached across the table, clenched at Rin’s sleeve. “What do you _mean,_ Rin-chan, just _tell me_ —”

“Osaka!” the redhead burst out, feeling rushed by the guilt building in his throat. He palmed his forehead, giving in with a sigh. “—He’s going to Osaka,” he muttered. “For a lab internship at some fancy science university. He’s been thinking about transferring to that school for some time, so he’ll be leaving soon to check the place out too.” 

It was inevitable, Rin told himself, Nagisa would have found out some time or another anyway—but that still didn’t lessen his guilt, when he saw how heavily his friend’s face fell. The flush had disappeared completely from his face, which was suddenly pale—the way his eyes grew dull and lips parted and closed was almost painful to watch. 

“—That—” Nagisa spoke at last, swallowing. “That can’t be true—” His hand reached up to push his bangs out of his forehead, and he laughed faintly. “We’ve talked so many times now—Rei-chan’s never mentioned anything like that…” He looked up at Rin with a dash of hope in his eyes. “You’re joking, right? Rin-chan? You’re just screwing with me, right?” For a moment, Rin hesitated, biting his lip. 

“—Listen,” he began at last, not directly answering Nagisa’s pleading question. “It’s just two years—it might seem like forever now, but in the long run, it’ll be nothing, you know? He’ll be back in no time—it’s the 21st century, you guys can Skype and all that, right?” He scratched his cheek with slight frustration. “And well—Rei didn’t want to tell you because—well, he didn’t want to rush you into giving him an answer or anything, and he said he was fine with waiting as long as it takes, so—” A loud scraping sound from chair legs cut off his words, and he lifted his head with surprise.

“‘Just two years’?” Nagisa repeated, now standing. “You don’t know what ‘just two years’ of distance can do, Rin-chan!” His voice trembled. “Two years is more than enough time for feelings to change! Two years is more than enough time to grow apart and forget!” Memories of his mother sitting by the quiet telephone flooded his head. “How do you know Rei-chan won’t have a change of heart? How do you know he won’t meet someone better or—” His hands started to shake. “How do you even know if he’ll come back at all, after two years? What if he decides to keep studying or get a job there?” 

“Nagisa…” A bewildered Rin studied him with apprehension. “I—I get it—just calm down for a se—”

“You don’t get it, Rin-chan!” The customers around them went silent. “It’s only been a month…! I’ve _just_ started to get to know him—” The palm on Nagisa’s head was clammy, his eyes flickering with disbelief. “And now, you’re telling me that he’s going to go far away? In a _week?”_ His voice grew angry. “Why didn’t you _tell_ me, Rin-chan? Why didn’t _he_ tell me sooner? How long were the two of you planning on hiding this from me?!”

“What? _No!”_ Startled, Rin leaned forward. “It’s not like that, Nagisa, I swear! Rei isn’t—”

“Why did you introduce him to me?” At Nagisa’s quiet voice, the redhead fell silent with a stunned expression. “You knew he was going to go to Osaka, didn’t you? If he was going to leave soon, why?” The moments he’d shared with Rei flickered through Nagisa’s mind. “I don’t get it—what was he thinking, all that time? Why would he—” He felt like a rock was lodged in his throat. 

“Why would he…?” A tear started rolling down his cheeks, then another. “Why _would_ he?” he repeated over and over, as he started to sob hard right in the middle of the café, trying in vain to wipe his eyes with his palms. Before him, an aghast Rin was trying to tell him something—but none of his words reached Nagisa’s ears.

 

It wasn’t the first time he’d cried over someone like this. But this time, the romance hadn’t even started.

 

* * *

 

“Ryuugazaki, Haneda, bring your samples to the table!”

“Yes, Professor!”

 

For Rei, today was a busy Tuesday—he had completed four different lab exams, with a few more to follow. And afterwards, he was due to work for another of his professors as a teacher’s assistant. Most of Monday he had spent studying, locked in his room aside from the time he had classes. Today he’d been at the college since eight in the morning, sparing barely any time for meals in-between—and now, it was nearing dinnertime again. Rei thought it would be best to retire to bed early later—he had classes again tomorrow, and there was also his date with Nagisa. Thinking of the older man caused Rei to smile fondly—he still clearly recalled how beautiful Nagisa had been, even under a downpour and a grey sky. 

_Maybe I should go pick him up tomorrow,_ he thought. Since he’d walked Nagisa to his apartment once before, Rei thought he could retrace his way there again. Then he remembered the camellias. _Maybe surprise him with a small gift, as well._ Just the thought of it made Rei glow with anticipation. His gaze wandered to the pot of flowers on his professor’s desk, then towards the calendar hanging above it. June was almost ending—there was only a week left in the month. Rei’s eyes settled on the 30th, and the look in his eyes changed slightly.

“A week…” he murmured, staring at the date. _Less than a week now,_ he thought a little somberly. 

“Ryuugazaki!” The professor’s voice pulled Rei back to reality, made him turn quickly.

“Oh—excuse me, Professor!” He hurried towards the table with his sample, leaving the calendar and flower pot behind.

In the lockers outside the lab, Rei’s phone rang inside his backpack yet again. The screen flashed with another new message, before the battery died and the pixels turned black.

 

* * *

 

On Wednesday morning, Rei woke up to the surefire sound of his alarm clock. Tapping it off, the brunet sat up in bed and stretched sleepily in his butterfly-print pajamas. Yesterday night he’d gone to sleep early as he’d planned—after just a few classes, he’d see Nagisa again. The thought brought a smile to his face, and he rose from the bed with a new spring in his steps. 

After a morning run and a healthy breakfast, Rei cheerfully headed out for his late-morning-to-early-afternoon classes. He sat through his favorite physics class with a dreamy look on his face, eyes constantly wandering to his watch with anticipation. Around him, a few of his classmates were giving him curious glances—they were all used to a much more focused Rei, who worshipped physics with admirable devotion from the amount of immaculate notes he took down as tribute. There _were_ rumors that the famously unsociable Ryuugazaki had been seeing someone lately, but his classmates had never seen him so spaced out before—most of them had brushed it off as a ridiculous rumor early on. 

Rei didn’t even register the sound of their whispers—in fact, he didn’t register much of anything until the bell signaled the end of class. Then, he was up and out of the room in seconds, leaving behind his extremely curious classmates.

“First, I’ll have to stop by the flower shop!” he recited to himself, making his way down the subway entrance. “After exactly fifteen minutes at the maximum, I should have purchased the perfect bouquet and be headed for Nagisa-kun’s apartment!” 

Inside the train, he took out his phone from his backpack to check the directions to the flower shop closest to Nagisa’s flat—but found that it was out of battery. He frowned, remembering that he hadn’t looked at his phone at all yesterday. Thankfully, he’d more or less memorized the directions by heart—he’d spent a good amount of time looking at the map on his laptop, just in case. They’d agreed to meet at the station around five, but Rei had made sure to account for the time. If he wasn’t late, Nagisa should still be at his flat at four-thirty, and Rei would not miss him at his apartment. As long as Nagisa didn’t have a pressing reason for calling him, Rei reasoned, it should be fine. 

As he’d predicted, he arrived at Nagisa’s door with enough time to spare. The bouquet of daisies he’d purchased lay in his arm, beautifully wrapped in lace and a nice purple ribbon. With an anticipatory smile, Rei rang Nagisa’s doorbell with his free hand.

When the door didn’t open after several seconds, Rei wondered if he had missed Nagisa on his way out. But it couldn’t be—the time on his watch signaled that it was still too early. He tried ringing the doorbell again—and yet, no response came. Growing a little worried, the brunet raised his hand and knocked on the door.

“Nagisa-kun?” he called. “Are you in there?” He knocked again. “Nagisa-kun?”

 

Inside the apartment, Nagisa was curled up on his bed with his blanket thrown over his head. When he’d first heard the doorbell ring, he’d thought it was Rin—he’d been ignoring all calls and texts from the redhead since Wednesday, after all. In fact, he hadn’t even bothered checking his phone since Monday. When he heard Rei’s voice instead, however, the blond was a little shocked. It was Wednesday, but he hadn’t expected Rei to come pick him up—they’d previously agreed to meet at the subway station nearest his house. But the time was still early—and Nagisa hadn’t planned on going out today. 

_“Nagisa-kun?”_ Again, Rei’s voice rang from outside the apartment. _“Nagisa-kun, are you there?”_ The blond could almost see the troubled frown on his face. _“That’s strange—he shouldn’t have left just yet—”_ Despite what he knew now, Nagisa felt a part of his resolve crumbling. Biting his lip, he slipped out from under his blanket, padded his way down the hall towards the door. His hand reached up towards the doorknob—but then, it fell back against his side.

“Rei-chan.” On the other side of the door, Rei’s eyes lit up at Nagisa’s voice. 

“Oh—thank god you’re still in, Nagisa-kun!” he exclaimed with relief. “I was afraid I’d missed you on your way out! Granted, I didn’t think you would leave so early, but—ah, were you in the bathroom? I’m sorry for making you rush—”

“Rei-chan.” Nagisa hesitated. “I—I don’t think I can go out today.” It was true, he knew about Rei’s plans to leave Tokyo now—but the lump in his throat told him that he didn’t want to talk about it. “I—I don’t feel well. I’m sorry.” 

“—Oh.” Just from that syllable, he could hear the worry in Rei’s voice. “Are you all right, Nagisa-kun? What’s wrong?” 

“—I’m fine.” Nagisa swallowed. “It’s just a cold—I should get better if I stay in today—”

“Have you gone to the doctor’s?” asked Rei’s concerned voice. “Oh god—it isn’t from the rain on Friday, is it?”

“Rei-chan, I’m _fine,”_ Nagisa repeated, with a slight strain to his voice. “I just need to spend a day in bed—you really don’t need to worry about it—”

“If that’s the case, then I’ll be taking responsibility!” Rei’s voice said firmly. “I’ll get some supplies and be right back, Nagisa-kun, just lie down and wait—”

 _“Rei-chan!”_ Hearing Nagisa raise his voice, Rei felt silent with surprise. The blond’s hand gripped the edge of his pajamas tightly. “It’s all right—I have everything I need and I just have to rest. Just—please go.” He winced at the tone of his own voice—he hadn’t meant to sound so irritated. After all, Rei didn’t know that he knew—

Rei didn’t know. Rei _had_ known, and hadn’t told him, all the way up to this point. The thought made Nagisa’s stomach twist unpleasantly—his anger was starting to swell again.

“I—I understand,” Rei’s hesitant voice replied. “I’ll be leaving shortly—just—would you mind opening the door for just a moment?” The bouquet of daisies shifted slightly in his arm. “I have something I wanted to give you, so—”

“I don’t need it.” Nagisa couldn’t hide the bitterness in his voice. “Just go, Rei-chan.” 

“Nagisa-kun…” Hurt flickered in Rei’s eyes. “I—are you upset with me? Is it something I did or—”

“Why didn’t you _say_ anything?” asked Nagisa at last, fingernails digging into his shirt. Rei’s forehead knit with confusion.

“What do you mean, Nagisa-kun? Say what?” The blond grit his teeth.

“About Osaka!” he burst out, cheeks heating with emotion. “About the internship, the transfer!” Already, his voice was shaking. “You _knew,_ you had a whole _month_ to say something, Rei-chan, so why _didn’t_ you?!” A stunned silence fell outside the door.

“I—I didn’t even know you knew, Nagisa-kun,” a bewildered voice replied. “I mean, I didn’t think it was in my place—I was waiting for you to—”

“To _what? Confess_ to you?!” A stinging sensation pricked the back of Nagisa’s eyes. “And then what would you have done when we were apart?! Start a long-distance relationship?!” He wiped roughly at his eyes with the back of his hand. “You don’t know _anything_ about long-distance, Rei-chan! How much things change! Look at my parents! They were _married,_ and look what happened to them! I’m their _son_ —did you really, _honestly_ believe it was going to be all sunshine and roses?! Did you just assume everything was going to work out like magic?!”

“I—I didn’t assume anything of the sort, Nagisa-kun!” Rei replied earnestly. “Of course I understood that it would be hard—but all the same, I didn’t want to give up on you!” His eyes fell to his feet. “It’s true, that when I thought about it over a month ago, I did have my uncertainties—but in the end, I still wanted to get to know you! And if—if you ever ended up returning my feelings, I was prepared to do everything I could to make things work! To make you happy, even with the distance—”

“Listen to me, Rei-chan!” Rei stopped, hearing the distress in Nagisa’s voice. “Do I sound happy to you right now?” The blond’s hands pushed against his hair, his forehead leaning against the door. “Not saying anything all this time—just assuming that I’d be okay with long-distance after you spring it on me last minute—that’s not fair, Rei-chan.” His eyes watered, and he blinked hard. “That’s just _not fair.”_

“Nagisa-kun—” Rei’s voice sounded pained. “That isn’t what I was trying to do, I _swear—_ ”

“You should never have confessed to me.”

 

The words left Nagisa’s mouth before he knew it. They made a pang go through his chest—he regretted them the instant he spoke them, but it was too late. On both sides of the door stretched a painfully long silence.

“—Do you really mean that, Nagisa-kun?” When Rei spoke, his voice was level—as if he was trying to contain his hurt. “Is that really how you feel?” Nagisa was glad there was a door between them—he didn’t think he could face Rei right now. He squeezed his eyes shut, the tears welling over his cheeks.

“—Let’s just—” His throat burned. “—go back to being strangers.” A tight lump began forming. “It’s just better that way.”

 

After what seemed like ages, a soft voice returned from outside.

“—If you truly feel that way, then…” Rei sounded so quiet, _sad_ —Nagisa hated it. “Then I wish you luck, Nagisa-kun.” A pause. “I’m sorry for hurting you.” Nagisa’s eyes widened. His mouth dropped open, his throat wanting to say something—tell Rei he was wrong—but his voice wouldn’t come out. 

Now, there was only silence—after waiting long enough, Nagisa could tell that Rei had left. But there was no relief—only an oppressive feeling that weighed down heavily on his chest. Knees going weak, the blond fell to a crouch on the genkan, hugging his knees to his face as he started to cry in earnest.

 

Rei was wrong. He wasn’t brave. In the end, he was just a coward.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the ~~needless~~ angst ;v; I divided this piece into chapters after writing the ending, so where this cuts off may be iffy...I hope things didn't feel too sudden? Please let me know what you thought!
> 
> Also, thrilling(?) conclusion and a few extras to come!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "With people, you never can tell who will leave, who will stay, and who will change." ([x](http://comic.naver.com/webtoon/detail.nhn?titleId=25735&no=86&weekday=thu))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've edited this chapter a million times ahhh hope you like the finale!

It was the weekend, and yet again, Rin found himself sitting at the usual café. This time, however, he was sitting alone—lunch half-eaten in front of him, the ice cubes in his drink completely melted. 

With a disgruntled expression, Rin flipped his phone open for the thousandth time that week. Still no messages or phone calls. Groaning, the redhead set down his phone and palmed his face. Almost a whole week, and neither Nagisa nor Rei were picking up. 

“Jesus Christ—why do they have to go MIA _now_ of all things?” He kneaded his forehead worriedly. “At least let me _try_ to patch things up, dammit—” Just as he was sighing loudly, the café door opened and a tired-looking college student entered.

“Geez, Momo-kun—he could at least _walk_ inside shopping malls like a normal adult!” He had a roundish face with straight grey hair and sky blue eyes, with a mole under one of them. Rin blinked, thinking that he looked oddly familiar and—

“Ah!” The man met his eyes and gasped with recognition. With a smile, he approached Rin and bowed politely. “Good afternoon! You’re Hazuki-kun’s friend, aren’t you? Um—was it ‘Matsuoka-san’?” And then, it clicked. 

“—Oh, yeah—you’re Nagisa’s roommate, right?” Rin recalled meeting the grey-haired man briefly when he’d run into Nagisa at the supermarket. “Er—”

“Nitori Aiichirou!” the man provided cheerfully. “What a coincidence it is to run into you here!” With a soft snort, Rin scratched the back of his head.

“Not really—my college is like five minutes away on foot.” He blinked, then sat up straight. “Er, listen—how’s Nagisa doing lately? Did he seem any different than usual or—?”

“Oh—” Ai’s face grew somber. “Actually, he’s been down since the beginning of the week.” A current of guilt ran through Rin, the corner of his mouth twitching. “I don’t really know why—he seemed so happy when he went out in the afternoon, but when I came back from class he was curled up on his bed with all the lights off. Not to mention that his appetite hasn’t been the same since—” Ai frowned. “Maybe he went on a date with Ryuugazaki-san and something happened? Like a fight, or—” Rin gulped.

“They, er—I heard they were going on a date on Wednesday,” he commented casually. “Didn’t Nagisa cheer up after that or…?”

“Wednesday?” Ai shook his head. “I don’t think Hazuki-kun even went to class that day—and actually, he seemed in an even worse mood when I got back. And his door was locked…” The grey-haired man cupped his chin thoughtfully. “But if that’s the case, then something must’ve happened on Monday after all!” Feeling another wave of guilt roll over him, Rin sighed and buried his face in his palm.

“I really _did_ screw up,” he lamented in an undertone.

“What did you say, Matsuoka-san?” Rin shook his head. 

“It’s nothing.” Sighing tiredly, the redhead removed his hand from his face. “If Nagisa’s home when you get back, could you please tell him to pick up his damn phone—” Wait. An idea occurred to Rin, and his eyes flew back towards Ai. 

“Actually—never mind about the phone. Is he still back at the flat right now?” 

“Oh, um—I think so?” Ai replied. “Why, Matsuoka-san?”

“Oh, nothing.” Standing up, Rin grinned with a touch of vengeance. “I think it’s time for a one-man intervention, that’s all.”

 

* * *

 

June 30th. The date seemed to glare out at Nagisa from the calendar on his wall. With a twinge in his chest, the blond shuffled on his mattress so he was facing away from it. 

Rin had said Rei would leave in a week. What day was he even leaving on? Monday? What had Rin really meant by a week? Seven days? Six? What if Rei was leaving tomorrow? Or even worse, what if he’d already—

Seeing where his thoughts were going, Nagisa stopped short.

So what if Rei had already left? It wasn’t as if he’d planned on chasing after him or anything of that sort. Even if he did catch him before he left, what would he have said? 

_‘You should never have confessed to me.’_

Remembering his words to Rei, Nagisa buried his face in his knees. Every time he went over what he’d said on Wednesday, he felt more and more horrible. He still thought Rei should have told him earlier, if he was going to be leaving Tokyo soon—but that didn’t mean he’d had to hurt Rei either. Even though he’d kept his move a secret, Rei had been nothing but kind to Nagisa. Even though he knew he was practically a stranger to Nagisa, Rei had confessed his feelings—and on the first day that they’d met properly. Even though Nagisa knew he’d sort of cornered Rei into confessing, he knew the amount of courage Rei must’ve drawn up to do it. The amount of bravery he must have mustered up, to ask Rin to arrange that date. Nagisa knew—it wasn’t his responsibility to accept those feelings, but he had no right to reject their existence like he had.

_I’m the worst._ His eyes tightened—they wandered over to his phone, which had been brimming with missed calls and texts from Rin, but none from Rei. _Maybe Rin-chan’s heard from Rei-chan by now. Maybe he wants to chew me out for hurting his friend._ He buried his face in his arms. _Maybe I should let him. I deserve to be chewed out._ Remembering the hurt in Rei’s voice, Nagisa bit his lip. 

_Maybe—maybe he’ll grow to hate me eventually. He’ll get over me, find someone nice in Osaka who actually deserves him—I can wish that much for him, right?_ Still, the thought of it made Nagisa’s chest hurt. 

_Maybe he hates me already. There’s no way he can still like me, after what I said._

“I really am the worst,” he muttered, fingers digging into his pajamas. “Even now, I’m only thinking about myself.”

“No kidding,” a familiar voice deadpanned. “Just because your love life isn’t going well, you hide in your bed for a week like some shut-in? Grow up, dumbass.” Startled, Nagisa’s head flew up, and he scrambled onto his knees on the mattress.

“Rin-chan!” The redhead was leaning against his doorway, appraising the room casually.

“It’s been months since you moved into this place, but this is the first time I’m visiting, huh? I did expect all the pink, but you actually grow plants too? What do you know.” 

“Rin-chan!” Nagisa’s eyes were wide. “How did you know where I—” 

“Sorry, Hazuki-kun!” a voice called timidly from behind Rin’s shoulder. Ai’s palms were pressed together in apology. “I ran into Matsuoka-san near his college, and he threatened me into bringing him here—”

“ _Who_ threatened _who_ , you midget?!” As Ai squeaked and fled to his own room, Rin sighed and kneaded his forehead. “Look, I don’t know what happened with you and Rei on Wednesday, but you’ve _got_ to hear me out here—”

“I did something terrible,” Nagisa was blurting, before Rin had the chance to finish. A little surprised, Rin cleared his throat and raised a brow.

“Oh? And what’s that?” Face crumpling a little, the blond explained.

“I…told Rei-chan…” His voice grew smaller with each second. “…That he never should’ve confessed to me.” Immediately, Rin’s eyes flew wide open.

_“What?!_ Why the _hell_ would you—” When he saw the look on Nagisa’s face, Rin immediately dropped his voice. “—Okay,” he said eventually, kneading his forehead. “All right—just—tell me what happened, step by step.” He took a seat next to Nagisa, and the blond slowly told him everything.

 

“Fuck,” Rin swore quietly when he was done. “And you just let him leave like that?” 

“What was I supposed to do, run after him?” Nagisa buried his face in his knees. “I was only going to hurt him a second time.” 

_“Someone’s_ being a drama queen.” When there was no response, Rin sighed. “Still, you could’ve—gone and apologized or something. Shit, I don’t know.” He rumpled his hair in frustration—it was rare for Nagisa to see him look this upset. 

“You really _do_ care, Rin-chan.” When the blond managed a small smile, Rin looked even guiltier. Turning his eyes away, he coughed.

“W-well—when all’s said and done, both of you are my friends, aren’t you?” His voice grew gruff. “Even though you two are both a handful…” Upon hearing ‘both of you’, Nagisa’s face grew guilty as well, and his smile faded.

“I’m sorry, Rin-chan,” he mumbled. “For Monday. Even though you helped us meet, I ruined everything.” 

“Uh—” Rin sounded even guiltier. “Look—you don’t need to apologize. I mean, not to me—the thing is—”

“I know. Rei-chan must’ve been hurt the most, right?” The blond stared down at his toes, arms tightening around his legs. “You shouldn’t have introduced us after all, Rin-chan.” 

“No—Jesus, Nagisa, you don’t know—” Rin began, but saw Nagisa’s face. He stopped as if to reconsider something, eyes observing his friend keenly.

“—What’s the deal with you and long-distance relationships?” he asked eventually. “I mean, everyone knows they can’t be a piece of cake, but it’s not like you’ve ever been in one before. You seem weirdly bothered by them, for someone who hasn’t.” For a while, Nagisa remained silent.

“I used to know this really nice couple,” he began. “When they first started out, they seemed really in love, you know? They got along so well that I always thought they were meant for each other. I was positive they were going to be together for the rest of their lives—but then, their relationship turned into a long-distance one. And in the end, it just didn’t work out.” Nagisa’s voice grew small. “I…I was scared…that the same thing would happen to us.” His chin fell onto his knees. “I know we’re different people, that I shouldn’t keep overlapping us with them—but the more I think that Rei is special, the more scared I keep getting.” A weak smile formed on his face. “I’ve broken up with four people before, even though distance had nothing to do with it—when I start thinking that way, I don’t know how to stop.”

“I really like Rei-chan. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like him before, in my whole life—but what if it’s all too good to be true?” With the back of his hand, Nagisa dabbed at his eyes. “Moving away to Osaka is bad enough—but what if he forgets about me while he’s there? How do I know that he won’t find someone better?” He let his hand fall back down. “I know it’s dumb, jumping the gun early and all that—but what if we’re not meant for each other?” His voice grew quieter. “What if it’s not fate?”

 

“Nagisa…” Rin sighed quietly. “Despite everything, you’re pretty darn realistic, you know that?” 

“Huh?” Nagisa hiccupped, the rims of his eyes red. “What do you…”

“For someone with a baby face who still likes stuffed penguins and throws the word ‘fate’ around a lot, I’m saying you’re being surprisingly realistic. Before, I thought you’d be all like, _‘Wow, long-distance relationships are so romantic! Only looking at the other person even when they’re miles away, writing love letters and sending gifts—don’t you think it’s perfect, Rin-Rin? I’ve always admired that kind of love!’_ Or something corny like that,” he muttered, looking embarrassed by his own imitation of Nagisa. The blond couldn’t help but laugh a little at that.

“Maybe ten-year-old me might’ve thought that way,” he murmured, feeling somber. 

“Just _be_ ten-year-old you, then.” Rin scratched the back of his head. “Or more like, I dunno—be realistic but positive at the same time? Those things don’t have to be mutually exclusive, you know? Age has nothing to do with that kind of stuff.” He made a face. “And you know what? Screw fate.” As Nagisa looked up with wide eyes, Rin continued. “What kind of a mother fucker decided that everything happens because it was ‘just meant to be that way’? That’s some real Illuminati shit right there.”

“Rin-chan…” 

“But hell, if you really want to ‘fate’ things up, then I’ve got one for you.” Turning towards Nagisa, Rin looked him in the eye. “I’ve known Rei for four years now, and he’s no social butterfly. He never tries to meet new people, and even when other people try to meet him, they usually end up concluding that he has a stick up his ass, and things don’t really get that far. Hell, it’s a miracle that he and I are even friends. No joke!” He paused. 

“But out of everyone else on the block, Rei actually _asked_ to meet _you._ Never mind if he was six months late in doing it.” The redhead rolled his eyes. _“The_ Ryuugazaki Rei, who’s turned down a gaggle of schoolgirls before because ‘love is illogical’ or some shit. You are literally the first person he’s been interested in that way, and somehow, you wrapped him around your finger without even meeting him in a way that counts. If that’s not fate, then it’s some damn miracle, all right.” 

“…Really?” Nagisa’s eyes were wide. “Are you saying that I’m—”

“His first love,” Rin finished, nodding. “I have no idea why—maybe it’s ‘cause he’s weird as hell and you’re not that far off.” For that, he received a surprisingly strong nudge in the ribs.

“That makes me feel even worse,” Nagisa mumbled, face a noticeable red. He didn’t mean the fact itself—just the fact that he’d hurt Rei and probably broken his heart during his first love. As if he didn’t feel guilty enough already. Seeming to understand, Rin snorted softly.

“It might be his first heartbreak, but Rei’s tough. He’ll pick himself up again. Maybe take some time to get over you—and then maybe he’ll land some other guy who’s as brainy as he is and actually understands the latest gossip on quantum physics.” As Nagisa stiffened, Rin looked at him with a touch of slyness. “Is that what you want, Hazuki?” 

“I…” Nagisa hesitated. “—I don’t,” he muttered. “I really don’t, but—”

“All jokes aside.” Rin’s expression was serious. “Rei knew he was going to leave in over a month, and he still asked if he could meet you. Even after he moved away, he was confident that his feelings for you wouldn’t change. From the moment he confessed to you, Rei was prepared for the possibility of a long-distance relationship. And I don’t know about you, but to me, that speaks some real guts.” The redhead grinned. “Apparently you were the one person he didn’t want to let go of.”

“…Rin-chan…” A warm feeling bloomed in Nagisa’s chest. “…That sounded so cheesy.” Not expecting this retort, Rin choked and started to cough. 

“Wha—do you have a death wish, brat?!” he snapped, and Nagisa laughed. 

“I’m kidding.” Secretly, the blond stored those words away in his memory. “Thanks, Rin-chan.” Rin blinked back at him, before looking away sheepishly.

“—Yeah. Make sure to remember that gratitude later.”

“?” Before Nagisa could ask what he meant, Rin went on.

“Anyways—I won’t say it’ll be all sunshine and rainbows from here on, but that’s life. What can you do?” He patted the back of his neck. “But you know what they say. If you don’t do anything, nothing starts at all.”

 

“If I were you, I’d snatch him before he leaves, lover boy.”

 

* * *

 

_‘When does he leave, Rin-chan?’_

_‘Huh? Oh, er—Monday. Yeah, he leaves Monday. So—you still have two days, I guess.’_

 

Two days. Nagisa stared at the phone in his hand, at Rei’s contact in his contacts list. Two days, and Rei would be off to Osaka. Every day from then until he returned, he would be two and a half hours away by train. And there was no guarantee that he would return after two years. Wasn’t there a university in Osaka famous for its graduate chemistry program? If not, there were other things to consider—local careers, for one thing—maybe even a new love interest in town—

Nagisa’s throat suddenly felt tight. 

He was hugging one of his stuffed penguins to his chest when his phone rang. A streak of hope burned through his chest as he sprang up on his bed and reached for it. When he saw who it was, the blond breathed out a mixed sigh of relief and disappointment. Recomposing himself, Nagisa answered the call.

“Hey, Dad,” he said softly. “What’s up?” From the other end, his father’s deep and composed voice answered.

_[“I just wanted to let you know, that I talked to your mother recently.”]_ There was a pause, during which Nagisa let the information sink in. _[“She said she wishes us the best.”]_

“Oh.” Nagisa smiled faintly. “That’s great.” 

_[“I also wanted to tell you that Kyoko and I are flying to Japan soon, together.”]_ His father’s voice sounded careful. _[“She said she wanted to meet you at least once, before the wedding.”]_

“—Oh.” Now, Nagisa wasn’t sure if he sounded happy anymore. “That’s—that’s great.” Now he was certain that he didn’t sound happy. And his father seemed to notice it as well, from the hesitation in his voice.

_[“If you don’t feel comfortable about the idea, I can talk to her about another time—“]_

“No, Dad. Just—” Nagisa let out a slow breath. “It’s going to be the first time I meet her—no matter when that is, I’m still going to feel uncomfortable.” He paused. “And she _should_ probably meet us before the wedding—even though Mom might be a different story.”

_[“Nagisa…”]_

“It’s fine, Dad—I’ll call Nanako and the others and tell them.” Even to him, his voice sounded a little strained. “Just tell me when you guys are coming, and I’ll take care of it—”

_[“Nagisa.”]_ Out of all times, it was that moment that his father chose to pop the question. _[“Is there something wrong?”]_ In response, Nagisa froze slightly. He sounded just like how he’d sounded years ago, when Nagisa was still a little boy and feeling upset because of something—getting bullied at school, his sisters sneaking his share of the treats for themselves, the neighborhood dog that he’d loved dying from old age. Back then, just hearing his dad say those words had been comforting—because while his father wasn’t exactly the most eloquent man on earth, he had his own way of comforting his son, of letting him know that he was loved. 

It’d been years since Nagisa had heard that voice. Before he knew it, his eyes were starting to well with tears.

“It’s—” He inhaled in an attempt to steady his voice. “It’s just that—” Sniffling, he tried again. “I know I’m older now, and it’s been years since you and Mom split up—and I want to be happy for you, I really do, but—to be honest, it’s still kind of hard.” His voice grew shaky. “I’ve tried to pretend that I am, because I do want you to be happy, Dad, but—I don’t think that I’m over it yet. I know it’s stupid and selfish of me but—”

_[“Nagisa.”]_ His father’s voice was firm. _[“I would never think you were stupid or selfish for something like that.”]_ His voice softened. _[“It’s been years since your own grandfather and grandmother got a divorce, and I’m still not ‘over’ it. I never was, and I never will be.”]_ Nagisa’s eyes widened.

“They were?” he murmured, surprised. “I mean—they did? You—you never really talked to us about Grandma and Grandpa before—”

_[“I didn’t,”]_ his father agreed. _[“It was because after they divorced, my mother disappeared from my life. And my father and I never got along after that.”]_

“—Oh.” Nagisa didn’t know what to say. “I’m—that must have been hard for you, Dad,” he murmured with sympathy. “I didn’t know that.” 

_[“Yes, well—I should have told you children about them instead of privately sulking for years. Just goes to show how mature I am.”]_ His father barked out a rare laugh. _[“Maybe now, I don’t have the right to judge them as much as I did. But there’s one thing that I know for sure.”]_ His voice grew gentle. _[“I don’t want my relationship with you and your sisters to turn out like that. I know I haven’t been the best at communicating that these past years—I’m always working abroad and I only call you children twelve times a year. Before, I thought I was doing my best in my own way. But these past months, I’ve come to realize that was never going to be enough.”]_

“…Is it because you met Kyoko-san?” Nagisa asked quietly. There was a significant pause, before his father responded.

_[“Partly.”]_ His voice was soft. _[“Kyoko has also married and divorced before. She’s almost always abroad, like I am, so she can’t see her children often—but they’re still very close. Even from a distance, she’s always talking about them, looking after them as best as she can. It made me rethink my behavior from all these past years.”]_

“So that’s why you called again today,” Nagisa said, with a hint of teasing in his voice. “Love sure does change people, huh?”

_[“Nagisa!"]_ his father protested, sounding embarrassed. And despite his mood, Nagisa couldn't help but smile a little at that. It'd been years since he heard his father sound that way. If that was the effect she had on him, Nagisa thought that he was curious about Kyoko-san after all. 

"I—I always thought that you didn't know," he murmured, a little shyly. "I always did my best to sound happy when you called—I thought I was fooling you." 

_["—That's because I didn't know what to do. I was afraid that I'd just upset you if I confronted you. I thought if I waited until you were ready, you'd come to me and talk about your feelings someday."]_ His voice sounded a little somber. _["But maybe I was just running away from it myself. Being despised by you and your sisters scares me more than you know, Nagisa."]_ Nagisa sniffed, corners of his mouth lifting a little more.

"We were both scared, then," he murmured. "So let's just say we're even." A laugh came from the other end.

_["That's the true Hazuki bargain spirit."]_ A pause. _["From now on, though, I hope you'll show me how you really feel, Nagisa. You don't have to pretend that you're ecstatic about me remarrying—you don't have to pretend that you're 'over' what happened between your mother and I, precisely because you’re my son. And I won't pretend, either. I swear I won't run away from you anymore."]_ His voice softened, losing its usual gruff edge. _["So tell me about whatever else it is that's bothering you."]_ Surprised, Nagisa's mouth fell open slightly.

"I—" Hesitating, he took a deep breath. 

"There's this person," he began. On the other end, his father hummed encouragingly. "We met over a month ago, on a blind date my friend set up. They told me that they really like me—and we’ve been going out for weeks since then. The thing is—I really like them, too.” Nagisa inhaled, eyes stinging. “They’re really, really special to me, Dad. And I’ve been meaning to confess back, but—” His vision began clouding with tears. “In just a few days, they’re going to leave Tokyo. The person I like is going far away, and I don’t know what to do…!” He let his tears fall freely, for once not caring that his father would hear. 

“I’m—scared—that even if I confess, we won’t last long and—because of that, I hurt them when they didn’t deserve it. Even though they say said—that they didn’t want to give up on me—” Wet tears slid down the back of his hands. “I don’t want to say goodbye, Dad—not this early! Not when we were just getting to know each other and—”

_[“Then there’s nothing to do but try your best.”]_

 

It took a while for Nagisa to process his father’s words. Coming down from a sob, he blinked his tearful eyes with surprise.

“…What?” 

_[“If you really feel that way, then try your best.”]_ His father’s voice sounded sheepish. _[“Even if you might not believe it, Nagisa, I did try my best with your mother. I really did love her, and I wouldn’t have gotten all those wonderful years with her and you and your sisters, if I hadn’t tried my best.”]_ His tone grew somber. _[“In the end, we grew apart, and hurt you children in the process—but even when we decided our marriage had to end, I had no regrets about the years we shared.”]_

“…I thought that you’d tell me not to do it,” Nagisa said slowly, wiping his eyes. “That it wouldn’t last long—”

_[“Nagisa.”]_ His father’s firm but gentle tone caught his attention. _[“You are not me, or your mother. You are your own person, with your whole life still ahead of you. No one can tell you what’ll happen down the road—and if you spend all of your time trying to guess, the best years of your life will be over before you know it.”]_

“Dad…” Nagisa couldn’t help but smile a little. “You sound so old.” A slightly disgruntled sound came from the receiver, followed by a small chuckle.

_[“I am getting behind in my years. But you’re the one who asked for my advice.”]_ His father’s voice softened. _[“I’m sorry that what happened between your mother and I scared you. But in reality, distance isn’t the only possible reason for loved ones leaving each other. And on that note, distance doesn’t have to be a reason for loved ones to leave each other, either. If you don’t know what’s going to happen, then all you can do is act based on what you know.”]_

_[“If you really believe this person is special, then tell them that and see what happens. If you really think you don’t want things to end, then try your best with all you’ve got. Try to be brave. And not just by joining a sports club because of your old man.”]_ Nagisa blinked, and his father chuckled. _[“Do what you want to do, and say what you want to say. And if they end up hurting you, I’ll personally fly to the other side of the continent and have a chat with them.”]_ He only sounded like he was half-joking, and it brought a smile to Nagisa’s face.

“I think they _would_ probably be scared of you,” he said, thinking of Rei. “But to be fair, most people would be.” His dad barked out another laugh.

_[“Good,”]_ he replied simply. _[“Give whoever the lucky person is my condolences.”]_

“Thanks, Dad,” Nagisa murmured sincerely. “And you really should fly home more often, you know.” 

_[“I will,”]_ his father promised. _[“I’ll see you soon, Nagisa.”]_

“Mm.” Nagisa paused. “Really, though—congratulations, Dad. I really hope you’re happy.” He spoke as earnestly as he could, and for a moment, his father was silent.

_[“Thank you, Nagisa. That really means a lot to me.”]_

Unlike their previous calls, when they said their goodbyes and hung up, Nagisa didn’t feel the usual hollow twinge in his stomach. He placed his phone on the mattress and stared down at the stuffed penguin in his arms. Its shiny purple ribbon caught his eye—the way it was tied prettily on its neck made the penguin seem extra dandy. The image reminded Nagisa of Rei himself, and his eyes softened.

 

Hugging the penguin to his chest, Nagisa sat and thought, for a long time.

 

* * *

 

Four days after he’d knocked on Nagisa’s door, Rei was sitting alone at the corner café near his college. The brunet wore a look that could only be described as ‘soulless’—the cup of black coffee that sat before him was cold and untouched. He was still very much out of it when Rin arrived at the café, and took the seat before his.

“Yo, sorry for keeping you wai— _ack!”_ The redhead backed away reflexively, overwhelmed by the dark aura that stormed around Rei. “What the hell, Rei—you look like you just survived an apocalypse!” Hair in a disheveled state with dark circles under his hope-less eyes, Rei looked up at Rin as if he’d just registered his presence.

“Rin-san...” he began weakly. “Love sure is painful…isn’t it…?” He laughed hollowly, the picture of despondency. Rin’s brow twitched guiltily, before he sighed and smacked him on the shoulder.

“Get a hold of yourself, Ryuugazaki! Acting half-dead isn’t gonna help your case out.” 

“But Rin-san…” trailed Rei remorsefully. “You don’t know what happened on Wednesday—”

“I do, actually,” Rin said pointedly. “Heard it from the pipsqueak himself yesterday.” At the mention of Nagisa, Rei’s posture perked up.

“You saw Nagisa-kun?” All of a sudden, he seemed more alert. “Was—how was his cold? Did he seem like he was feeling better?” In reply, Rin blinked with confusion.

“What cold?” 

“When I went to his apartment on Wednesday, Nagisa-kun told me he was sick,” Rei explained, frowning slightly with concern. “He said he didn’t feel well enough to go outside, so I offered to take care of him…” His voice grew gloomy, and his form drooped again. “…but he told me he wanted me to leave, so…” 

“Hey, don’t die on me mid-sentence,” protested Rin, taken aback with the dip in Rei’s mood. 

“So Nagisa-kun told you what happened,” continued Rei, looking miserable. “He thought it was unfair of me, not bringing Osaka up earlier…” His voice grew smaller. “Even though I was only trying to be considerate of his feelings…” He bit his lip like a child trying to hold back tears. “Do you also think I lack forwardness, Rin-san?!” 

“No, not at all,” Rin deadpanned. “You’re overflowing with forwardness all the time, too much of it actually.” Sighing, he ran a hand through his red hair. “Nagisa used to be a lot more like you when he was younger—I don’t know what happened to him—” At the mention of Nagisa, Rei’s eyes tightened with guilt.

“Maybe, from the beginning, I was only considering my own situation.” His palm closed around his coffee mug, fingers pressing against the ceramic. “I don’t think I ever truly stopped to wonder if my feelings were a burden on Nagisa-kun. I thought—that as long as I was honest and straightforward and truly treasured him, things would be fine—even if we were far apart. But perhaps I was only forcing my own ideals on him.” 

“Rei…” Rin frowned with concern. “Don’t start crying on me in public.” 

“I won’t!” retorted Rei, clamping down on his shaky bottom lip. Any other day, the redhead would’ve laughed at the crumpled look on his face—but Rin knew now was not the time for that.

“—He’s leaving Monday,” Rei was murmuring. “That’s tomorrow.” The hands on his mug tightened. “I never even got to give him the bouquet I got on Wednesday.” Rin blinked.

“A bouquet?” He wrinkled his nose. “For what cheesy occasion? Your thirty-and-some-day anniversary?”

“Forty-eight,” Rei corrected immediately, making Rin roll his eyes. “And you can’t call it an anniversary, Rin-san—since nothing—really—started—” Rei seemed to droop lower with each word. 

_“Aaah,_ all right, all _right!”_ said Rin hastily. “Stop getting all gloomy on me, you’re even more of a handful than usual, geez!” 

“Since he liked the daisies and the flower garden so much,” Rei mumbled towards the tabletop. “I thought they would make him happy—” Rin sighed heavily.

“Why didn’t you just hand it over to him, then?” 

“I _couldn’t_ —Nagisa-kun wouldn’t even open the door!” Rei’s shoulders slumped. “He kept saying he didn’t feel well and wanted me to leave—and then he…” Remembering what Nagisa had said afterwards pained Rei. “…said I never should have confessed my feelings to him,” he finished quietly. 

“—Rei—” With a sympathetic expression, Rin lay a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “—Did you honestly believe Nagisa had a cold?” As Rei’s mouth dropped open, the redhead shook his head pityingly. “Obviously, that was an excuse he made to avoid seeing you, dumbass.” 

“Wha—wha—” Rei’s face crumpled with disbelief. “Really!? I was being _lied_ to?!”

“100%,” Rin said dryly. “Honestly, Rei, you’ve _got_ to learn how to pick up on lies—not everyone sucks at lying as much as you do.”

“I was _lied to!”_ realized Rei, deaf to Rin’s voice. “And here I was, worrying about Nagisa-kun’s health—how could I have been so _blind?!”_

“Hoo boy,” Rin muttered, as Rei’s face dropped onto the tabletop.

“Rin-san…” a muffled voice came. “Could it be that I’ve been hated all this time?” For a while, Rin just stared at the crop of blue hair before him, literally struck wordless. Then, he palmed his forehead in exasperation.

“Why the fuck did I bother introducing you two in the first place? No wonder you two were taking forever to get together, really…” Lowering his hand, Rin prodded Rei in the head. “Oi—get up, you oblivious fuck. And grow some eyes and romance instincts while you’re at it.” 

“Huh?” Rei’s muffled, offended voice replied. “You really don’t need to refer to me so crassly, Rin-san—”

“Seriously, though. I’ve got something important to tell you.” At the tone in Rin’s voice, Rei lifted his head from the table. 

“What is it, Rin-san?” 

“You know how Nagisa’s crazy about fate and all that?” Rin began. “Well, listen to what he told me on Wednesday.” He went on, and Rei’s ears perked up, carefully taking in each word.

 

When Rin finished, Rei seemed a little stunned, and lost in thought. 

“I—I had no idea he was thinking that way,” he said quietly. “I mean, I’d heard about his parents and former lovers, but…I didn’t quite think he would also apply that thought to a friend. I mean, not as much, at the least…” Before him, Rin crossed his arms.

“And that’s why I’m saying you need to grow a pair of eyes.” 

“Huh?” The redhead sighed.

“Forget it—no amount of convincing from me is gonna do the trick.” He gave Rei a pointed look. “So are you going to sit around until Monday’s over, or are you at least gonna say goodbye properly?” Rei opened his mouth, then wilted.

“But Nagisa-kun—does he really want to see me?” he asked hesitantly. “I mean, I thought I was given a clear-cut rejection on Wednesday—wouldn’t going to see him make me something like a cockroach?” 

“God dammit, just _be_ a cockroach, then!” Just as Rin was about to tear his hair out, a buzzing sound came from Rei’s pocket. 

“Ah—that’s mine,” Rei clarified, moving to take out his phone.

“Seriously—why did it take you so damn long to recharge it?” Rin sighed. “What’s point of having a cellphone if you can’t be contacted with it—” His words were cut off by a loud clunking sound. Before him, Rei was suddenly standing, eyes wide and hand clutching his phone like it was a lifeline.

“Rin-san,” he whispered in disbelief. “I just—this is—”

“Huh? What?” Taken aback, Rin raised a tentative hand. “Don’t faint on me now, you hear—”

“It’s _Nagisa-kun!_ ” exclaimed Rei, hope starting to well in his eyes. “He’s texted me and—I’ve got to go now, Rin-san!” His upper body whipped down at a ninety-degree angle. “Thank you very much for your advice!” 

“Wh—hey!” Before Rin could stop him, Rei was out the café door in a flash. He ran as fast as he could towards the subway, his phone still open and clutched tightly in his hand.

 

_{i’m really sorry about wednesday, rei-chan. there’s something I want to tell you. can we meet by the duck lake at the park?}_

 

For Rei, the message flashed on the screen like a beacon of hope.

 

* * *

 

On the bus to the park, Nagisa found himself thinking about how this sort of thing happened in the movies. He’d seen countless actresses on the screen, harried yet beautiful on their last-minute dashes to the airport to catch the love of their life. He’d always found it thrilling and romantic, if a little cliché—but in reality, Nagisa decided that waiting until the very last minute wasn’t for him. In the end, he’d texted Rei the next afternoon, after his phone call with his father the day before. 

There had been no response from Rei yet. But Nagisa hoped with all his might that Rei would show up. And if he didn’t, well—he’d have to do a lot of running across town himself in search of Rei. He hugged the stuffed penguin he’d brought to his chest, trying to find comfort in its warmth.

He didn’t need a thrilling, romantic reunion at the airport. All he wanted was for Rei to look back at him—even if it did end up being the last time.

 

This time, he got off at the correct station—whether it was because he was terse or nervous or intensely aware that, while now wasn’t the very last minute, there wasn’t much time left. It was probably all three, when he looked back on it. He made his way through the familiar park, passed the trees and benches and the sandbox that he’d cried on so loudly six months ago. 

It didn’t take him long to reach the shore of the duck lake. It was a Sunday afternoon, and there were a noticeable amount of people on the other side of the lake, but the side on which Nagisa stood was fairly isolated. Overall, the atmosphere wasn’t too loud or too quiet, and the blond was grateful for that. 

Five minutes passed, and Rei didn’t show up. Ten minutes passed, and Nagisa considered buying a pack of feed to give to the ducks. Fifteen minutes, and his hands were clammy—his heart was both twisting and falling in his chest, wondering if Rei would show up any minute—wondering if Rei would show up at all—

 

“Nagisa-kun!” 

A jolt of nervousness went through Nagisa—he slowly got up from his crouch near the lake, turned to see Rei running towards him. His hair was noticeably disheveled, his shirt wrinkled and the usual belt missing from his pants. There were hints of dark circles on his face, but the sheer light in his eyes seemed to overshadow them. As he came to a stop some feet before him, Nagisa felt both relief and panic at the same time.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting!” Rei was apologizing, bent over his knees and sounding slightly out of breath. “I got your text when I was at the café with Rin-san, and I tried to get here at fast as I could—but I didn’t see you on the other side of the lake, so I searched for you and saw you here—” 

“Rei-chan,” Nagisa found himself calling, in a soft voice. “It’s okay. I wasn’t waiting long.” That still seemed to do the trick—Rei stopped talking immediately, straightening up to face him. The way he met his eyes head-on made Nagisa feel timid, and he found himself dropping his eyes a little. Nevertheless, he tried his best to sound sincere—because he was. “I—I’m glad you came.” He tried to smile, hoping that it didn’t come off too shaky. “I was afraid that maybe you wouldn’t.”

“Nagisa-kun…” Rei’s voice trailed off into a silence—for both of them, their present situation finally seemed to sink in. For a while, they stood without any words, Nagisa staring at his feet and Rei staring at Nagisa. 

Before he could say anything, because Nagisa was still nervous and scared, Rei spoke.

“I—before I came here, Nagisa-kun,” he began, catching the blond’s attention. “Rin-san was actually telling me about you. About what you said to him yesterday.” Yesterday? For a moment, Nagisa blinked with confusion—then, he froze. 

“Huh?!” Eyes wide and face turning bright red, he stammered, “Wh-what do you mean? Wh-what exactly did he—” His heart flip-flopped madly in his chest, thoughts running at a remarkable speed. “W-wait, Rei-chan, don’t say it! I have to be the one to—”

“I never realized just how important fate is to you.” 

“…Huh?” Not having expected those words at all, Nagisa came down a little from his embarrassment.

“To be honest, I’ve never invested much belief in the concept of fate,” Rei went on, unaware of Nagisa’s confusion. “As a man of science, I’ve always put my faith in what could be proven empirically—that is why I never once dabbled in fairy tales or superstition when growing up. But you, Nagisa-kun—even before what Rin-san told me today, you did seem fond of tying things to fate. The word always came up a lot in your conversations—and then, there was that talk we had at the flower garden.” Rei’s face grew somber. “And really, if I look back on everything, I should have been able to predict that you would be upset. I’m truly sorry, Nagisa-kun.”

“Wha—” The blond stepped forward in protest. “That’s not—you don’t need to apologize!” He hesitated. “I’m the one who said all those horrible things—I’m the one who should be sorry—”

“It’s all right, Nagisa-kun.” As Nagisa’s mouth fell open at Rei’s words. “Especially now, I understand why you wouldn’t think we’re ‘fated’ for each other.” Rei wore a small smile on his face. “After all, I was almost a stranger to you until recently—I swooped down out of nowhere and suddenly asked you on a date. And after just a month of knowing each other, one of us is leaving for another town. When I’ve assessed all of those factors, it does seem illogical that I confessed. It does seem unrealistic and selfish of me to corner you with my feelings, to hint at wanting a long-distance relationship.”

“Rei-chan, that’s not—”

“Until recently, I thought that love was illogical. In fact, I still do think it is. But all the same.” Rei looked up at Nagisa with earnest eyes. “When I saw a side of you that I didn’t know, my world changed completely. I never thought that I would fall prey to something as illogical as love, but I did. And the month and some days I got to spend with you made me extremely happy. No matter how things end up between us, I’m certain that I’ll treasure that time for the rest of my life.”

“Rei-chan…” As Nagisa’s throat started to swell, Rei spoke with a sureness that resonated in the air.

“For me, the fact that someone like you showed up in my life—the fact that I fell for you when I never thought I’d hold such feelings for anyone—that was more than fateful enough.”

 

There were a few splashing sounds from the lake. A pair of ducks swam past, quacking and nuzzling each other with their beaks. 

On the shore, Nagisa was at a loss for words—lips dry and fallen open softly. There were so many emotions welling up within him that he found it hard to respond. Or maybe, it was really just one big emotion that was threatening to make his chest burst. 

“—But that’s my point of view,” Rei was saying, with a sad smile on his face. “So I understand if you don’t return my feelings, Nagisa-kun. If anything, I’m sorry if they troubled you for so long—”

“Stop.” 

The word came out firmly from Nagisa’s lips, and Rei flinched, as if he thought he’d said something wrong. But then,

“Stop apologizing, Rei-chan.” Nagisa’s voice was softer, but every bit as genuine. “Don’t say sorry for being the sweetest, kindest person on Earth. ” His hands balled into fists, as he tried not to let his voice tremble. “And please, please don’t apologize for your feelings. I don’t deserve them in a million years, but please don’t regret confessing to me.” 

“Nagisa-kun—” Rei’s voice sounded stunned. Not ready to hear the rest of his response, Nagisa hurried on.

“I say all that stuff about fate, because in the end I still do want to believe in it. Even after it sort of cost me four relationships, it’s still important to me.” He found that his voice was already growing wobbly. “But somewhere in-between, I’ve gotten ‘realistic’ too. I’ve started to look before I leap, look for signs that this will go wrong somewhere in the end so I can back out before I can fall. I’ve started thinking that if something’s too good to be true, then it really is.” He roughly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “And right now, that’s _you,_ Rei-chan. I’ve spent over a month denying it somewhere in the back of my head because I was scared that you’d leave someday, long-distance or not.”

 

Now, Rei was looking so stunned that he couldn’t even speak.

 

“The thing is, I’ve been using fate as an excuse. First, it was because I was scared to start seeing someone new. When Rin-chan said I should try going on a date with you, I didn’t refuse at first just because I thought it felt forced or because I didn’t know you that well. But then, after I started getting to know you, I started making excuses for a different reason. Things like ‘it’s too ordinary’ or ‘not romantic’ or any other superficial things I kept telling myself—the truth was that none of that stuff really mattered.” Nagisa managed a watery smile. 

“If I was honest with myself, I would have admitted it much earlier. It was fateful enough that I got to meet you, because you could have never spoken to me and we could’ve stayed strangers, or just a friend’s friend. It didn’t matter that the things we did together were ordinary—the ordinary turned special because you were there, Rei-chan.” He sniffed. “You said—that seeing me cry on that bench changed your world—but for me—” Nagisa inhaled. “It was seeing you smile. Getting to know who you were. Falling harder for you every day that we met. That was all the proof I ever needed that it’s fate. Because from somewhere in the middle, I really, really wanted it to be that.” 

“Nagisa-kun…”

“I like you, Rei-chan.” It felt so, so relieving to finally say those words. “I really, really like you!” Across from him, Rei’s mouth fell open. “I’m sorry for hurting you on Wednesday. I’m sorry for letting the distance scare me. I’m sorry for being such a coward.” Tears freely leaked down Nagisa’s face, and he tried in vain to wipe them with both hands. 

“After all this—if you still want someone like me—then please, go out with me!” He bowed clumsily, tears falling onto the ground at his feet. “Please give me another chance, Rei-chan! I’ll try my best to make you happy—”

 

A sturdy pair of arms wrapped around his waist, tugging him forward. When his cheek landed against Rei’s chest, Nagisa let out a stunned gasp, his words cut off. The taller man was hugging him tightly, not caring that anyone else might be watching—his face a brilliant red but looking happy. 

“I—I’m sorry,” Rei managed to say, and for a moment Nagisa went cold. “But you looked so beautiful and I couldn’t help myself and—” The flustered nature of his voice restored Nagisa’s hope. “W-would it be appropriate for me to hug you in a situation like this?” he stammered. For a moment, Nagisa was speechless.

 

Then, amidst his tears, he burst out in laughter—earnest laughter with enthusiastic hiccups and wheezing to boot. Nagisa could practically feel Rei turning redder, but he noticed pleasantly that the arms around his waist didn’t loosen at all.

“P-please don’t laugh so much!” Rei finally protested, after Nagisa laughed for a good minute. Coming down from his high, the blond let out a last giggle as he wiped his eyes.

“B-but Rei-chan—” he gasped. “You were already hugging me and—” Another giggle. “You were like _‘Is this level of PDA that I initiated already appropriate for the situation, Nagisa-kun?’_ ” His voice deepened with the imitation, and Rei’s blush traveled to his ears. “Besides, you already hugged me in public before, without asking!” he pointed out just a little slyly. 

“Th-that was different!” Rei insisted, though Nagisa had no idea how. “There was hardly anyone around and I was just—going with the flow and—”

“Isn’t now the same, then?” Nagisa asked, voice turning shy. To that, Rei only coughed, before letting his chin rest on the blond’s hair. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Nagisa slowly calming down his hiccups. When he spoke, his own arms were wrapped around Rei’s back. 

“…You never gave me your answer, Rei-chan,” he murmured, feeling warm against Rei’s chest. “You’re not going to reject me while you’re hugging me…right…?” He could feel Rei chuckle, liked the way the sound rolled up his chest and out his throat. 

“Of course not.” Then, it occurred to him that he might be misconstrued. “I mean—of course.” His voice was soft. “Of course I’ll go out with you, Nagisa-kun.” The words sent warmth flowing through every part of Nagisa’s body. For a moment, all he could do was bury his face in Rei’s chest and let out a squeak of happiness. He thought about how happy he was that he’d get to do this, hug Rei like this more often—

But then, he remembered. Tomorrow was Monday, and Rei would be leaving. A pang of loneliness traveled through his chest at the thought, and Nagisa tightened his arms around Rei.

“We’ll Skype a lot, Rei-chan,” he began, voice growing choked. “I’ll send you millions of love letters and paper cranes and butterfly-print stuff.” He burrowed his face even deeper into Rei’s chest. “I’ll go visit you, even if you move to the other side of the earth!” A little up above, Rei’s face melted and his arms tightened some as well.

“And I will take full responsibility for my confession,” he replied. “I’ll work hard to make you happy, Nagisa-kun, even if you’re miles away.” Now, it was Nagisa’s turn to melt. “—But for your information, paper cranes are folded to pray for things—like prosperity and good health.” The blond giggled.

“They’ll make your pining for me feel better,” he teased softly, and Rei groaned—but without real offense.

“—Also, you’re the one who’s moving away,” he added gently. “If anyone’s flying to the other side of the earth, that would be me.”

 

Nagisa blinked.

 

“—What?” He pulled away from Rei’s chest, giving the brunet a confused look. “What do you mean _I’m_ the one who’s moving?” Rei blinked back, equally puzzled.

“But you are, aren’t you?” he said matter-of-factly. “To Osaka. For a long-term internship at a history museum. Rin-san said you leave for the city tomorrow.”

“What?” Now Nagisa was really confused. “But—but Rin-chan told me _you’re_ going to Osaka! To some fancy science college—he told me you were doing a lab internship and thinking of transferring there—”

_“What?_ That’s preposterous!” Rei said, the bewilderment on his face very genuine. “There are plenty of excellent interning opportunities at our college labs, and I’m on a full scholarship at my university! I have no plans to transfer anywhere at all!” 

“B-but—” Nagisa faltered. “ _I’m_ not the one going to Osaka either! I swear!” Wide-eyed, they stared at each other for what felt like an eon of stunned silence—as the riddle worked itself out in their heads.

“—Rei-chan.” Nagisa’s voice was suddenly sugar-sweet. “Did you say you left Rin-chan back at the café?” Rei would have gulped at the change in his tone, if he himself wasn’t currently ready for vengeance.

“As a matter of fact, I believe he’s at the college fitness center now.” Rei’s own voice was almost too cheery, too civil. “He’s always working out during this time.”

“Oh?” Nagisa’s smile turned a little vicious. “Then why don’t we go there now and kill him?”

“That sounds perfect,” Rei returned, with an equally vindictive smile. “I’ll be happy to lead the way there.” 

“Perfect,” Nagisa agreed, with a murderous giggle. They broke apart and began making their way away from the lake. And when Nagisa reached over and grabbed Rei’s hand, Rei squeezed back with an unspoken fondness.

 

* * *

 

In the end, they ended up not finding Rin at the fitness center, or anywhere near the college area. It wasn’t long before they gave up on looking for him, opting to turn the day into a casual date instead. Their first date as a couple, Nagisa thought happily, and with many more to come soon.

 

Even though he was mad at Rin for lying, he was so, so glad neither of them were moving away.

 

A few hours of walking and talking and content silences later, Rei and Nagisa were on the bus to Nagisa’s flat. The sky outside was now orange, bathing the cityscape below in its warm light. They sat near the back of the car with the sides of their hands touching, both of them smiling and stealing glances at each other.

When a cheery peeping sound came from Nagisa’s bag, Rei looked up curiously.

“What was that sound?” he asked, as Nagisa unzipped his bag.

“My new ringtone,” Nagisa explained. “It’s the sound a baby penguin makes—isn’t it cute?” He flipped the phone open to see a message from Ai. All it said on the screen was: _{got him?}_ Nevertheless, the question made Nagisa smile as he gave Ai a reply. He was putting the phone back in his bag when something round and fuzzy caught his eye. 

“I—“ Rei was beginning slowly, his face turning a gradual pink. “I think that—you’re the cu—”

“Ah!” The sudden outburst from Nagisa made the brunet’s hand slip. As he caught his balance just in time, Rei’s glasses fell askew on his nose. “Rei-chan!”

“Wh-what is it, Nagisa-kun?!” barked Rei, sitting up with his back ramrod straight.

“I almost forgot!” Turning towards the brunet, Nagisa beamed up at him. “I had something to give you today!” He scratched his cheek shyly. “I was thinking about giving you something on Wednesday and…confessing to you, but…since _that_ happened…” 

“—Oh.” Rei blinked. “I’d planned to give you something too.”

“Eh—really?” Nagisa’s eyes widened. “What is it? And how come?” 

“A daisy bouquet.” Rei’s hand went to the nape of his neck. “Although the flowers are days old now—I’ve placed them in some water glasses at home. And as for why—I suppose I wanted to be romantic.” His cheeks were dusted a light pink. “Especially since I thought you were leaving for Osaka soon, so…” Nagisa couldn’t help but smile softly. 

“You should bring them over to my apartment soon,” he said. “We can plant them together on the veranda!” At the suggestion, Rei choked on thin air and started coughing. 

“Y-you—you mean, _inside_ your apartment?” he repeated, face red. The blond gave Rei a teasing look, even though he himself felt a little warm.

“Why not? We’re dating now, aren’t we?” Nagisa batted his lashes. “Ai-chan said you could come over, as long as we stay in my room, but I think he’d be okay with the veranda too.” Before him, Rei sputtered wordlessly.

“Y-your roo—” Rethinking his words, the brunet cleared his throat, coughing once. “That—I’d have to look into my schedule—” Giggling, the smaller man smiled and edged closer, so their shoulders were touching. He could feel Rei inhale slightly, but he didn’t shy away from the contact. 

“But, um—what was it that you wanted to give me?” Rei asked eventually, pushing up his glasses. Oh, right. Straightening up, Nagisa reached into his bag and dug out the fuzzy object.

“Tada!” He held out the stuffed penguin towards Rei—cute, soft, and familiar-looking to Rei, but also with a yellow ribbon around its neck. 

“Um,” he began uncertainly. “Are you—returning that to me, by any chance?” Nagisa blinked.

“Oh—oh, no! It’s not the one you gave me!” He pointed to the ribbon. “It’s the one I won at the convenience store raffle! I put a yellow ribbon on it, and a purple ribbon on yours to tell them apart.” 

“Ah—now that I remember, you did already have another one.” Rei peered down at the toy penguin. “Is—is it all right if I accept it?”

“Of course!” said Nagisa sincerely. “I was going to get you something newer and nicer—but today, I thought I wanted to give you this.” He smiled shyly. “To remember me by, when you ‘left’. You’d have this one and I have the same one at home—it’d kind of be like we were connected, right?” 

“Nagisa-kun…” The edges of Rei’s eyes melted. Feeling embarrassed, the blond quickly plopped down the penguin into Rei’s arms. 

“Well, you’re not going away anymore—but I still want you to have it. We’ll match!” he chirped, and Rei smiled.

“Thank you, Nagisa-kun. I’ll be sure to treasure it.” He cradled the penguin, tucking it securely under one arm. “And to be accurate, I never was going away.” The words sent a wash of warmth through the smaller man.

“I’m really glad.” Nagisa’s voice was soft but sincere. “That you’re not going away after all.” He played with the hem of his shirt. “I mean, it’s not like I wasn’t prepared for it at all—but I’m really glad you’re staying.” Raising his head, he beamed at Rei. “Now we’ll have lots and lots of time together.”

“Nagisa-kun…” Feeling flustered, Rei’s eyes fell back onto the penguin. “I—I’m glad you’re not moving away either.” Before him, Nagisa’s smile widened. And as Rei traced the yellow ribbon with his eyes, a thought occurred to him, and he started a little despite himself.

 

Even though he thought Rei was leaving, Nagisa had confessed. Nagisa had asked him out. Nagisa had been prepared to keep seeing Rei, even after he was miles away.

 

It was silly how that was sinking in now. Happiness began to swell in Rei’s chest rapidly.

“Nagisa-kun,” he called softly. And just as Nagisa turned, eyes round and curious, Rei kissed him on the cheek. Pulling away from, Rei faced a wide-eyed Nagisa, face flushed and expression serious.

“I like you, Nagisa-kun,” he said sincerely. “Very much.” Before him, Nagisa’s mouth fell open. In a second, his face turned a bright red, and his mouth dropped open and closed with surprised noises. 

“I—” Eyes dropping bashfully, Nagisa replied in a soft but genuine voice.

 

“I really like you too.”

 

In his bag, his pink phone lay open with the reply he’d texted to Ai. The words blinked on the screen like stars.

 

_{got him! <333}_

 

__

 

_**-Fin.** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~what i meant by "needless angst"~~
> 
> Thank you for reading til the end. I hope you enjoyed this small blind date au! Although Rei and Nagisa ended up not going long-distance now, I have a headcannon that they do go out long-distance for a while in the future (two, three years?) and of course in my head they make it through. But I'll leave the rest up to the imagination.
> 
> I actually have two? three? extra chapters I'll be tacking on here, which will hopefully clear up some less-explained parts. So if you liked the main story, keep an eye out for more :)
> 
> As always, please let me know what you thought!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nagisa and Rei track Rin down. Some revenge and conversation ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been kind of busy for the past week, so this took a while longer to post. Enjoy!

**-One Year Ago-**

 

It was springtime, and the café near the university was full of newly paired campus couples. Aside from the fully-bloomed sakura trees growing around the area, their wide smiles and blushes and giggling made the change in season even more evident. In fact, sitting alone amongst them made Rin feel like he didn’t belong in the spring. 

But currently, that wasn’t the only reason he felt that way.

“Oh—that’s too bad—” The redhead scratched behind his ear as he spoke into his phone. “—what’re you apologizing to me for? It’s all right—of course I get that—sorry about how things turned out. Mhm—see you around campus.” Hanging up, Rin let out a small sigh and leaned back in his chair. 

“So it really was a Christmas fling after all.” The call just now had been from a friend Rin had met in his freshman year at the university. They weren’t incredibly close, but the guy’s character was decent and they could laugh over the same things. Last winter, Rin had introduced him to another one of his decent friends. They’d both mentioned that they were lonely and from their personalities, Rin had thought they would get along pretty well. 

That had been near the Christmas season. It was now May, and the two of them had decided to break up recently. Well, Rin thought, it probably was more than a Christmas fling—at least for a while. They’d lasted pretty long for a pair of friends he’d introduced on the spur. And the friend that called just now hadn’t sounded too depressed—even though he did feel bad, Rin had a feeling both of them would get over it soon. It was like that with a lot of campus couples he knew. Even with the ones surrounding Rin at the moment, there was no telling what would happen by summer or fall or winter. 

It wasn’t something that Rin judged them for. That was just how things were—and to him that just meant that finding ‘the right person’ was hard for most people. So was setting ‘the right people’ up, Rin found—and while he didn’t feel responsible for his friends’ breakup, it didn’t make him feel great either. 

“So this is what being the middleman feels like.” Through the café window, Rin watched as sakura petals drifted onto the sidewalk outside. A few minutes later, he saw a familiar crop of blond hair bobbing amongst the pedestrians. Predictably, the door of the café burst open seconds later, a cheery voice shouting Rin’s name.

“Rin-chan!” Cheery burgundy eyes greeted Rin as their owner waved and ran towards his table. As Hazuki Nagisa plopped himself down on the chair across from him, Rin clicked his tongue in disapproval.

“You’re thirty minutes late, brat—you better be paying for coffee.” 

“Boo, Rin-chan—at least say ‘dessert’! You know I don’t drink bitter water!” His younger friend stuck out his tongue at him, eyes dancing playfully in a way that reminded him a little of Gou. 

“S’not ‘bitter water’, geez—what are you, a five-year-old?” Sighing, he turned his head with the intention of checking the café menu over the counter. 

It was then that Rin caught sight of yet another familiar face outside the window. When the tall blue-haired man with red glasses met Rin’s eyes, he smiled and made as if to enter the café. But Ryuugazaki Rei’s eyes seemed to notice something, and suddenly he was turned 180 degrees and walking away with his nose shoved back into his book. Seeing Rin lower the hand he’d been raising, Nagisa blinked curiously.

“Who’re you waving at, Rin-chan? A friend?” Rin shook his head.

“It’s nothing.” Outside the window, Rei’s blue locks disappeared around the corner. “Saw the wrong person. Now, go order me some black coffee.”

“I’m not your servant!” The blond puffed his cheeks out, but got up from his seat anyways. “I’m gonna tell the barista to drop a few sugars in there—”

“Don’t you dare!” Laughing, Nagisa whisked himself away towards the counter and Rin sighed.

 

 

* * *

**Extra 1: White Lies and Good Outcomes**

* * *

 

The thing was, Hazuki Nagisa and Ryuugazaki Rei were Rin’s two closest friends in Tokyo.

 

Rei Rin had known since his second year in high school, a year after he’d left Australia to continue his education in Japan. Though the brunet had been his kouhai (and an annoyingly prudish one at first), Rin hadn’t found anyone else he’d felt as comfortable with in school, even amongst his own peers. Now, he and Rei even attended the same college within the city. There was a lot that they shared, like their interest in athletic theories and leading a healthy lifestyle, and in their battles over what they didn’t share they continued to forge a lively friendship of competition and debate. 

Nagisa Rin had met years earlier back in Iwatobi—although they’d only known each other for a couple of months before the redhead’s move to Australia, the time they’d spent together at the Iwatobi Swimming Club had created a special bond between them. Nagisa was also the only person Rin knew from his hometown who also lived in Tokyo, who could talk about ‘the old days’ with him over drinks when Rin might or might not be feeling homesick. The blond was like the mischievous younger brother Rin never had—or _did_ have, in the form of ‘sister’ rather than ‘brother’. 

Aside from being Rin’s friends, both Rei and Nagisa reminded Rin of Gou, who was studying at a college in Osaka. They were both younger than Rin and lively in their own way, with their own unique personalities, to list some similarities. Maybe that was a reason why Rin got along with them so easily. 

Either way, being his two closest friends living in the same place, Rin had wanted to introduce the two of them. Even if he didn’t particularly plan to, Rin thought he would have ended up doing so anyways—what with Nagisa’s frequent visits to Rin’s university area and Rei’s near constant presence within the same area. 

The only problem was that Rei clearly didn’t want to meet Nagisa.

At first, Rin had thought Rei was just being shy. But then, he’d noticed some signs that were a little different than that—the twitch of an eye, the slight pursing of the mouth, and the sheer speed with which the brunet walked in the opposite direction whenever he saw Nagisa with Rin. 

After Rei outright declared that he didn’t want to meet Nagisa, and after thinking about what a few guys in Rei’s high school homeroom had been like, Rin thought he understood why. Even though he’d _told_ Rei that Nagisa wasn’t like the ‘friendly’ outgoing-type bastards who took advantage of him before, Rin eventually realized that just telling Rei these things wouldn’t do much good. Rei would only get to know what Nagisa was like if he was willing to meet the blond—which he _wasn’t_ willing to do, unfortunately. Rin knew things weren’t like that with just Nagisa—Rei had a tendency to distrust people, something he would have to overcome himself in the end. 

Not to mention Rei was always mumbling that Nagisa was ‘illogical’. But Rin would only fully understand what that meant later on. All he knew at first was that Rei was allergic to anything that wasn’t ‘logical’ by his standards. And it was obvious that he was a little ticked off by Nagisa’s presence. 

For Rin, it wasn’t that hard to speculate why. The two seemed like polar opposites at first glance—loud versus quiet, outgoing versus introverted, organized versus kind-of-chaotic, scientific versus artistic—the list went on the more Rin thought about it. But in the end, the redhead knew both of them better than they did each other—he knew those were just traits gleaned from the surface. That there were other sides to them, unexpected sides like Nagisa being more fragile than he looked and Rei being braver than he gave himself credit for. 

And just because two people seemed different didn’t mean they couldn’t get along. The couple Rin had set up, for a counter-example—he’d thought they’d get along because they had similar personalities and interests, but they’d broken up for whatever reason he wasn’t aware of. Looking at things the opposite way, who was to say Nagisa and Rei couldn’t get along? What if _they_ were the ones Rin had been setting up and—

Rin’s thoughts screeched to a sudden halt. And then, the corner of his mouth twitched as he held back laughter.

Rei. Theory-obsessed, ‘stick-in-the-mud’ Rei, who hadn’t been in any form of romantic love or relationship even by the tender age of nineteen, because apparently love was ‘illogical’ and he would sooner make out with his textbooks. With Nagisa— _the_ Hazuki Nagisa, the very definition of social butterfly who basically defied all things of order and science, who always seemed to be dating someone. Currently he was seeing some guy he’d met at a wedding, if Rin recalled correctly from their last conversation over drinks. 

And even if Nagisa had currently been single, just the thought of setting him up with Rei was hilarious. Maybe something Rin would see only in a wild dream. Introducing them as friends was one thing, but a blind date? Fat chance.

Not to mention that, even if the two of them hypothetically got together, Rin would really feel bad if their relationship didn’t work out. The two friends Rin had set up were good friends, but they weren’t as close to him as Rei and Nagisa were. There was a saying that these things were really best conducted through moderately close acquaintances—through a friend’s friend who might have a nice single cousin, or someone else removed enough. 

If it was Rei and Nagisa, Rin was sure he’d feel at least a little responsible if things didn’t work out—even if logically, he shouldn’t.

 

But then, that totally unexpected thing _did_ actually happen.

 

If Rei hadn’t used to sniff in disdain every time he saw Nagisa, Rin thought he’d have added one and two together faster. Maybe he’d have noticed something way earlier, in the winter shortly after Nagisa broke up with his then-boyfriend. 

But if Rei’s change of heart wasn’t for Rin then, the brunet did make it really obvious the following year. By then, Rin noticed that Rei’s attitude towards Nagisa was shifting—from politely disapproving of the blond because he was ‘Rin-san’s good friend’, to seeming surprisingly tolerant and even vaguely interested in him, to an extremely awkward cherry boy in love (after some prodding and convincing from Rin that no, he was not hallucinating or the victim of some strange unknown disease). 

Of _course_ it had taken someone with a presence as explosive as Nagisa’s to change Rei’s mind. Rin wished he could’ve recorded the moment Rei realized he liked the blond, for posterity—because if he ever did get married to Nagisa and had children, Rin was sure they’d find his reaction nothing short of hilarious. He was sure Rei’s struggles with being on the dating scene—being on the dating scene with _Nagisa_ —were going to be hilarious as well. Which was why the redhead was plenty willing to play middleman again. At least, initially.

 

It turned out that Rin didn’t know just how much trouble he’d signed himself up for. In more ways than one.

 

* * *

 

**-Present-**

 

“Good afternoon, sir. What would you like to order?”

 

Startled, Rin bolted up from his seat. His head whipped around to see a puzzled waitress with a menu pad in her hands. Shoulders visibly relaxing, the redhead sank back down behind his table.

“One black coffee, please,” he sighed out in relief. After the waitress took his order and left, Rin sank lower into his seat, eyes darting everywhere as he tried to calm down. 

It was Saturday afternoon, so the family restaurant he’d chosen to hide in was fairly crowded. While that meant that he might be harder to find amongst the guests, the constant noise and movements around him didn’t exactly help him relax either. Pulling the brim of his cap down, Rin edged closer to the divider that separated his table from another. 

“Calm down, Matsuoka,” he murmured to himself. “You’re in a restaurant in the next neighborhood over—they’re probably still looking for you around the same café. There’s no way they’ll find you here.” 

After the waitress brought him his coffee, Rin raised the cup towards his lips while trying to appear casual. His eyes scanned the vicinity, taking in a loud group of teenagers on a goukon in one booth, a foreigner couple splitting a sundae in another, a family of parents and three children who were enthusiastically shoving pizza into their mouths. None of them seemed particularly suspicious—although the foreigners were being noticeably affectionate, but Rin supposed that wasn’t that surprising. 

 

 _“—let’s go and meet our friend now, Mike darling~!”_

_“Certainly, Nagi—Catherine!”_

 

The redhead blinked, as the platinum-blond couple stood up. There were a few things about their voices that stood out—for one, Rin had never heard such weird English accents, for another the woman’s voice sounded oddly deep, and thirdly both their voices sounded strangely familiar—

_“Oh! Mr. Rin-Rin!”_

Just from hearing the familiar nickname, Rin froze immediately. There was only one person in Tokyo who should even know about that nickname, and actually call him that… Rin’s lips twitched as the ‘foreigner woman’, now standing before his table, lowered her sunglasses. A cherry eye winked cheerily over the edge of their gaudy pink frames. 

_“What a coinky—"_ The woman paused in her speech. _“Coinky—“_

 _“’Coincidence,’”_ her boyfriend coughed.

 _“What a coinky-dink it is to see you here!”_ gushed the woman, as if the pause had never happened. By then Rin was sure these people weren’t foreigners—his heart sank as ‘Catherine’s’ voice became low and viciously sweet. “Why don’t we head out and catch up with the old times?”

“Why, that sounds like a wonderful idea, Catherine!” boomed the blond man, also abandoning his attempts at English. “I know the perfect place in which we can tortu— _talk_ to Rin-Rin-san!” Dread pooled in Rin’s stomach.

“H-hey—wh-why don’t we just talk things out here?” he asked with a twitchy smile, eyes flickering towards the restaurant door several feet away. “I’ll er—treat you to coffee—”

“Oh, Rin-chan,” the woman cooed in a dangerously soft voice. “You’re not going to get away with just treating us to _coffee._ ” 

“Er—“ Sweat began beading on Rin’s brow. “Strawberry parfaits, then? Pizza?” 

“Oh, totally. We can have five or ten of those later—and some more stuff.” The woman beamed. “But for now, let’s get going, shall we?” As if on cue, she and ‘Mike’ were hoisting Rin up by the arms. 

“Wha—wai—oi! Let go of me! Stop—” The redhead flailed against the two to no avail. “I surrender! I surrender, okay? Stop pulling me— _help!_ ” he yelled in English. _“Help me!!”_ The customers around them watched curiously as the ‘foreigners’ dragged the shouting grown man out of the restaurant.

 

* * *

 

Sometime later, Rin found himself tied to a tree in the familiar local park. A jump rope bound his arms behind his back, sturdy knots trapping him against the trunk. Before him stood Nagisa and Rei, their blond wigs and sunglasses removed. Their disguise now rested in the hands of the children playing near the park sandboxes, their laughter pealing in the background as they chased each other around while shouting random English words at each other. 

“Seriously, are you _really_ going to keep me tied up like this?!” Rin protested, wriggling against the jump rope. “What if some cop misunderstands and arrests the two of you?! M’not gonna defend you if that happens!”

“That is why I’m keeping watch, Rin-san,” said Rei loftily, one eye trained on their surroundings. “Besides, even if there is a policeman around, we can simply say we’re playing cops and robbers.”

“Like _hell_ we are!” shouted Rin. “I’m not gonna fucking run away, for the _love of god—”_

“Aw, I wouldn’t struggle so hard if I were you, Rin-chan!” chirped Nagisa. The pleasant smile dropped from his face as he crossed his arms. “You should put that energy into doing some explaining, don’t you think?” With the jab, Rin grimaced a little before sighing. 

“All right, all right!” His red eyes swiveled tentatively towards Rei. “Rei, leave us alone for a sec.” Rei squinted at him suspiciously.

“Just what are you planning on discussing in private, Rin-sa—” Before he could continue, a hand tugged on Rei’s. The brunet looked down to see Nagisa’s reassuring eyes and pleading smile.

“Please, Rei-chan?” He mouthed ‘I’ll be fine’ silently, and Rei’s frown eased a little.

“—I’ll be over by the sandboxes, then.” Giving Nagisa’s hand a last squeeze, the taller man made his way away from the tree. He took a seat atop the edge of the sandbox, glancing back at Nagisa and Rin tentatively before turning to watch the children play. The redhead snorted at his behavior.

“Isn’t _someone_ being the stereotypical overprotective boyfriend.” Nagisa giggled softly, a pleased blush on his face.

“Rei-chan is Rei-chan. And besides—” He shuffled his feet a little guiltily. “It’s not like I’ve never given him cause to worry about me, so…” With these words, Rin sighed.

“Look, Nagisa. I know I screwed up—” He averted his eyes guiltily, voice growing smaller. “I’m sorry. For lying on the spur of the moment—but I swear I didn’t mean to, it just kinda slipped out ‘cause I was so used to telling Rei the same lie—” The redhead paused, as if recalling something. “—okay, wait, actually—I might have thought about telling you that lie beforehand. But! I was only gonna do that if I thought you needed a little push. Since you said you were gonna confess to Rei on your next date, I wasn’t going to actually go through with it—it just kinda happened—”

“Then why didn’t you tell me the truth earlier?” At this point, Nagisa seemed more curious than angry. Rin gave him an incredulous look.

“I was going to, but you started _crying_ all of a sudden! You ran out of the café before I could clear things up, and you wouldn’t answer texts or calls! And I had no fucking idea where your apartment was, so it wasn’t like I could charge in to drag you out of there and beg for mercy—well, at least before I ran into your roommate last week!”

“I meant when you did come over that one time,” Nagisa clarified. “In the end, you didn’t mention anything about Rei moving to Osaka being a lie. How come?”

“That’s—I _was_ going to tell you the truth, but—” Rin hesitated, then clicked his tongue as if giving in. “With the state you were in, and what happened with Rei, I guess—” His voice shrank to a mumble. “It didn’t look like just getting rid of that one misunderstanding was gonna make everything right again.” Before him, Nagisa’s eyes flickered with surprise. “Just ‘cause Rei wasn’t actually gonna go to Osaka…I mean, you sent Rei away on Wednesday before I could intervene, so…”

“You wanted us to make up on our own,” said Nagisa softly. “You wanted me to overcome the insecurities I was dealing with.” For a while Rin didn’t reply, but he didn’t deny Nagisa’s claim either.

“I swear I wasn’t trying to play God or anything—I know I’m not in any place to test either of your feelings. But you’d already been through enough shit in your love life—” The redhead remembered all the times he’d gone drinking with Nagisa, the blond slumped over the table with his face buried in his arms as he talked about his ex-lovers. “And Rei—he pretends he doesn’t give a shit about other people, but he’s been through some stuff too.” Rin coughed with embarrassment. “I know I’m technically the one who set you two up, but I was kinda worried about you both.” He kicked absently at a pinecone near his feet. “I do realize there were better ways to go around encouraging you both. So…my bad.” 

“Mm.” Nagisa’s eyes wandered towards Rei, who was for some reason being pulled away from the sandboxes by the children. He watched the long wig he’d worn disguised as Catherine being pulled over Rei’s eyes, as some of the children tried to pile themselves atop the man’s shoulders. “I agree that was a stupid lie to tell—” Rin sputtered a little at this jab. “—but I guess I sort of see where you’re coming from, Rin-chan.” The redhead raised his head with surprise. In Nagisa’s eyes coexisted fondness and a kind of solemn determination. “Rei-chan is amazing—I guess that’s exactly why I got scared in the first place.” The blond squared his shoulders slightly. “But you’re right, Rin-chan—I like fate, but I like Rei-chan more. So screw fate.” He smiled. “This time, I’ll try trusting Rei-chan more than anything else.” 

“You…” Rin’s mouth fell open slightly—then he made a face. “Wow, that sounded _real_ sappy.” 

“Shut up.” Cheeks rosy, the blond chucked a pinecone at Rin. “And _you_ know which one of us is the sappier one, Mr. I-Wanna-Swim-In-A-Pool-Of-Cherry-Blossoms.” 

“Wh— _you_ shut up!” grumbled Rin, turning red. “How many years ago is that from, anyways?!” 

“Aw, you know you’re _exactly_ the same as back then, Rin-Rin,” Nagisa teased. “The only thing that’s changed that now you have some _tsundere_ game.” 

“You wanna die, brat?!” snarled Rin, and the blond laughed. Clicking his tongue, the redhead turned his head to the side.

“Anyways, I need a break from playing middleman. Since you’ve actually landed yourself a decent catch this time, you might as well go on and break a leg.” He clicked his tongue, voice softening slightly. “You better not be coming to cry about Rei over drinks anytime soon. Don’t make me listen to your snot-filled sobbing again.” 

“Rin-chan…” As Nagisa’s eyes widened, Rin cleared his throat embarrassedly.

“Just. You and Rei are both human, so. Look after what you’ve got. And let Rei look after you. It’ll pretty much kill him if you don’t,” he added, looking up. To his horror, Rin saw that Nagisa’s eyes were growing a little misty. 

“H-hey! Wha—don’t start crying on me!” Startled, Nagisa laughed a little as he ran the back of his hand over his eyes.

“It’s ok, Rin-chan—it’s because I’m happy,” he sniffed, smile only a little watery. 

“Um, you _might_ wanna say that again,” Rin remarked warily, as a figure quickly approached the two of them. 

“Nagisa-kun! Are you all right?” An alarmed-looking Rei turned Nagisa around by the shoulder to inspect his face, then turned accusingly towards Rin. “Rin-san, just what did you—”

“It’s ok, Rei-chan!” Nagisa tugged at Rei’s sleeve, getting his boyfriend’s attention. “I’m not upset, I promise.” His fingers slid down Rei’s wrist to intertwine with his hand. The blond turned his smile towards Rin. “Thanks, Rin-chan.” 

“O-oh. Yeah.” Next to them, Rei’s eyes grew large with confusion.

“Why are you _thanking_ him, Nagisa-kun?” With Rei’s question, Nagisa beamed.

“Wouldn’t you thank someone who’s going to treat us to a feast later on?” Before him, Rin’s brow twitched. “It’s only basic manners, Rei-chan!”

“Ah—if that is the case, then.” Rei nodded, playing along and feigning enlightenment. “I applaud you for your politeness, Nagisa-kun!” 

“Oh god, gimme a break,” groaned Rin, leaning forward in exasperation. It was then that the jump rope strained against his stomach—for a while, he’d forgotten that he was still tied up. “At least get these ropes off me, will you? Now I _really_ don’t have the energy to run off anywhere.”

 

* * *

 

Ten minutes later, it was Nagisa who was playing with the children near the sandboxes. From a nearby bench, Rin and Rei watched the blond skipping over the jump rope with a childlike laugh. Rin noticed the edges of Rei’s eyes softening and rolled his own red eyes.

“I can’t decide whether you look more like a lovesick teenager or a doting dad.” The last comparison made Rei choke on thin air.

“Are you—do you _know_ how suggestive that sounds?!” Rin snickered, taking a swig from the coke he’d gotten at the vending machine.

“Only if you take it that way, perv.” Brushing aside Rei’s red face and glare, the older man stretched his arms out behind him. “So, how far have the two of you gone? Get past European greetings yet?” 

“For the last time, kisses on the cheek are _not_ considered a greeting,” huffed Rei. “At least, not in Japan.” Rin snorted. “And besides, it’s only been a week, Rin-san—much of which we spent trying to track you down, by the way,” Rei added, with a pointed look that Rin avoided meeting with his eyes. 

“S’not my fault your advancement in skinship runs on a broken clock.” He smirked slightly. “Man, I can already _see_ Nagisa’s suffering down the road.” Rei sputtered.

“J-just what is _that_ supposed to mean?!” Ears pink, the brunet crossed his arms defiantly. “A-anyhow, don’t you have something you should be saying to me?” 

“Huh?” Rin turned a blank face towards Rin. “And what would that be?” Rei’s eye twitched.

“Your apology. To me. For lying about Nagisa-kun moving away!” 

“Oh, that. Well, to be honest I’m not too sorry about _that_ lie, actually.” 

_“Why **not**!?”_ burst out Rei, as he threw his head back indignantly. Clicking his tongue, Rin set down his coke.

“Come on! I only told you that ‘cause Nagisa was right in front of you and you were _still_ dicking around after half a year!” The redhead scratched his cheek sheepishly. “I figured things’d be simpler if I could introduce the two of you myself!”

“And your method for convincing me was telling a blatant _lie_?” asked Rei incredulously, stabbing an accusing finger towards the redhead. “Do you have _any_ idea how much needless misunderstanding you’ve caused, Rin-san?! We could’ve been in a shoujo manga, for Pete’s sake!”

“What _else_ could I possibly do?!” Rin threw up his hands. “I said I’d introduce him to you before like _fifty times_ and all you gave me was your bullshit denial!” His voice escalated two tones as he began imitating Rei. “ _‘L-l-love?! Where did you get such an illogical notion, Rin-san? Haha, impossible! I am not completely and totally gone for your loud blond friend over there! I would never cheat on my beloved textbooks! Blah blah blah—_ ’”

“That is _not_ how I sound!” exclaimed Rei, beet red. 

“If I didn’t come up with that lie, you wouldn’t have confessed within this century!” Rin retorted, leaning back with his arms propped on the bench back. “Hell, you had six whole _months_ and you couldn’t even talk to him on your own,” he pointed out smugly. “You should at least thank me for creating the setting, you know?” Rei’s brow twitched.

“Of course—thank you _very much_ for your creative meddling,” he returned, with an icy mask of politeness. Eventually, he sighed and loosened his expression. “Setting myself aside, you _really_ shouldn’t have lied to Nagisa-kun, Rin-san. You’ve seen how upset he was.” In response, Rin grunted guiltily.

“I—I didn’t mean to lie to him too, it just slipped out. Heat of the moment and all—and he ran out before I could call off what I said. Besides, how was I supposed to know he was thinking about all that complicated stuff?” he mumbled. “I thought it’d be fine anyways, since the truth was bound to come out sooner or later.” He gave Rei a pointed look. “In my head, you were supposed to ask the brat about his ‘Osaka internship’ _way_ earlier—then things wouldn’t’ve escalated so much.” 

“I—It’s not that I never _tried_!” protested Rei. “I tried to be tactful about bringing it up, but each time something happened before I could and—wait, are you trying to blame _me_ for _your_ lie right now?” he demanded incredulously. “And besides, you should have known better than to tell Nagisa the same lie, Rin-san—you are aware of what happened with his parents, after all.” 

“—Huh?” Rin blinked. “What do you mean, what happened to his parents?” Rei blinked back.

“They got divorced while Nagisa’s father was working abroad. You _told_ me about this on Sunday, when you told me about you visiting Nagisa-kun at his apartment. Although I already knew about them by then.” 

“—Wait.” A foreboding feeling began prickling up Rin’s spine. “Are you saying—” He blinked with bewilderment. “Oh _shit._ ” Rei stared. 

“You mean you really didn’t know, Rin-san?” he asked with surprise, and Rin palmed his forehead.

“He just said a couple he knew broke up on a long-distance relationship. How should I have known?” he muttered. “I always thought they split up over something else.” Sweat began running down his back again. “No wonder—how the fuck are a couple of parfaits and a pizza supposed to make up for this shit?” 

“Oh, you planned to get off the hook with just that?” Rei raised a brow. “That’s not even half of what Nagisa-kun can polish off in a sitting.” Rin rolled his eyes.

“Guess _you_ would know—you’ve been taking him on dates three times a week every week—and that was when you two _‘weren’t an item’_. I’d loove to see the sorry-ass state of your wallet next month.” Flushing, Rei ignored the bait and sighed wistfully.

“If only you hadn’t lied so unnecessarily, Rin-san—then we could’ve met more naturally and started out as friends. I could’ve cross-analyzed Nagisa’s favorite foods and places and likes and dislikes in much greater depth, and improved the quality of our future dates by 25% at the least.” From beside him, Rin gave him a look.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. There was a reason why I suggested a blind date instead of a casual meeting.” 

Rei blinked. “What do you mean?”

“If you’d started out as friends, you probably wouldn’t have gotten anywhere anytime soon.” Sighing, Rin ruffled his hair. “More than one of Nagisa’s friends have been interested in him before, but almost none of them ever try confessing. It’s something you don’t really notice until you get close enough to him, but for Nagisa it looks like there’s a divide between friend and love interest. A _really_ clear one. It’s like he almost won’t _let_ them confess. It’s intimidating for the ones that get cold feet, and a real tragedy for the few that go through with it anyways.” 

“Really?” A tentative look appeared on Rei’s face. “But Nagisa-kun’s so friendly to everyone—I would have thought the opposite was true, if anything—” Sagely, Rin shook his head.

“It looks like it’s more of a defense mechanism than anything else. For someone who floats around all doe-eyed going on about fate, that kid’s actually pretty darn cautious. In the end, he’s just scared of losing the relationships around him. No matter how you think about it, it’s easier for romantic relationships to end than friendships, isn’t it?” 

“Is that so…” Rei’s thoughtful eyes wandered towards Nagisa, who was now swinging one end of the jump rope for the children leaping over it. “But doesn’t that depend on the nature of the relationship?” Rin shrugged.

“Nagisa likes keeping his friends. Look at why he went to a high school that’s a forty-minute train ride away—it’s all because Haru and Makoto were there.” The redhead’s eyes flickered towards Rei. “And even if you guys did start out as friends, it’s not like you could’ve kept your huge-ass oblivious-as-hell thing for him a secret.” He shrugged. “I just thought you’d have a better chance if you made your goal clear from the first day. You were always good at being direct anyways.” 

“I-it wasn’t that obvious!” Rei retorted half-heartedly—the heat in his cheeks giving him away as he spoke. “I-if I’d tried, I could have taken the secret safely to my grave!” 

_“Everybody and their mom_ would’ve noticed _way_ before you hit the casket.” After the dry reply, Rin leaned forward, propping his elbow against his knee and his chin in his palm. “The point is, Nagisa has more guards around him than you think. And I guess for him, he never expected how straightforward you could be. But in the end, it all worked out in the best opposites-attract-Yin-and-Yangish way possible, didn’t it?” 

They watched Nagisa, who was now double-jump-roping with one of the children. When the rope caught on the child’s foot, he stumbled backwards and Nagisa swiftly caught him. They laughed as the rope draped itself haphazardly around their heads, Nagisa’s blond locks sticking up and framing his round face messily. Rei smiled. 

“Setting your horrible methods aside, I suppose you’re right, Rin-san.” Ignoring Rin’s noise of protest, Rei went on. “Now Nagisa-kun is beside me—that in itself is already the best outcome possible.” Next to him, Rin made a sound as if he was gagging.

“Could you maybe possibly be a teeny bit less sappy? I’m literally dying over here.”

“Oh, shut it, Rin-san,” huffed Rei. The two of them continued to watch Nagisa and the children play in silence. After a while, a sudden smile spread across Rei’s face.

“—Wait a minute. I just realized something, Rin-san.” When Rin looked up, Rei beamed at him like a scientist who’d make a big breakthrough. “I’m the exception!”

“Huh?” 

“When we parted after our first date, Nagisa-kun said we could start out as friends,” explained Rei, feeling proud. “So at one point in time, I was also Nagisa-kun’s friend. But now we are in a romantic relationship! As expected of I, Ryuugazaki Rei!” Slipping on the bench, Rin gave him an incredulous look.

“I _told_ him it was gonna be a date and you _confessed_ to him an hour after you met. He never really thought you were _just a friend_ , dumbass.” But Rei didn’t seem to be listening, too busy preening and half-singing to himself. Sighing, Rin rolled his eyes and propped his cheek on his palm. 

Well, he thought, as Rei later joined Nagisa and the children in their jump rope games. Maybe if Rei had been Nagisa’s friend, he still would have wormed his way into his heart. Rin watched as the rope caught on Nagisa’s foot, making him stumble over. Observed the way Rei’s arm shot out to catch the blond around the waist, the way Nagisa’s eyes sparkled up at him like he was about to swoon. The redhead rolled his eyes and settled back on the bench. 

He honestly had no idea how Nagisa thought he and Rei were in a ‘normal real-life relationship’, when everything they did sounded like it came straight out of a romance novel. What normal real-life couple danced in the rain in the middle of a flower garden? No other couple Rin knew, that was for sure. 

He thought that maybe, as Rei set Nagisa back on his feet, that he didn’t need to intervene so much after all. Aside from giving Rei the initial push, which he still didn’t regret at all. 

...That is, until he woke up several hours later at a beer place alone with a huge tab to pay. And got home to see all the cheerful doodles and scribbles all over his face in his bathroom mirror. Not to mention the triumphant selfie Nagisa and Rei had taken with his phone, with them high-fiving and Rin’s unconscious artwork of a face in the background.

 

It was then that Rin decided. His white lie had absolutely _not_ been worth all this trouble. Not by a long shot. In fact, both Nagisa and Rei were dead the moment Rin found them. Or just dead to him, period.

 

He sure as hell was _never_ playing middleman again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This extra is also a little late because I expanded it to clarify some stuff, for those of you who were confused about the situation with Rin's lie. If there's anything you guys are still confused about, please feel free to ask :)
> 
> Also, I wanted to add more revenge on Nagisa and Rei's part lol (although I think there could've been more revenge but I did like dressing them up as Mike and Catherine haha). And Rin will have the front seat to their sappy grossness from now on so...that's also a kind of revenge in my opinion. 
> 
> Next chapter will be the last one, centered around Rei's pov! Or I might add something else in-between, I'm not sure. Thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date in Nagisa's apartment, in which interesting things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, this is a newly written chapter. Enjoy! :)

* * *

**

Extra 2: Uneasy

**

* * *

 

Clean glasses, check. Light dash of cologne—check. Best butterfly-print shirt, ironed to perfection—check. Neatly brushed hair—well, save for the impossible cowlicks at the back—check. Fresh bouquet of daisies—check.

 

Two weeks after Nagisa’s confession, Rei found himself back before the door of his now-boyfriend’s apartment. He remembered all too well what’d happened the last time he was here—but now, instead of his stomach sinking, it was flipping around behind the deceptive sturdiness of his abs. Swallowing, Rei lifted his finger and pressed the doorbell. Immediately, he could hear hurried footsteps and loud miscellaneous sounds from the inside.

 _“Ah, Rei-chan! I’ll be there in—ouch! Just a second!”_ Once he heard Nagisa’s voice bellow back at him, Rei’s shoulders relaxed a bit. There was no reason for Nagisa to shut him out again, of course—that was an obstacle they’d thankfully overcome in the end. But still.

When the door swung open and Nagisa beamed up at him, Rei smiled back—albeit somewhat nervously.

“Sorry for making you wait, Rei-chan!” Nagisa’s hair smelled faintly of strawberries. The shirt he was wearing was a lovely peach that brought out his eyes. Their burgundy irises lit up when they noticed the bouquets. “You brought daisies—again!” 

“I—well.” With his free hand, Rei fumbled with his glasses. “Since you mentioned wanting to plant them, I thought—“ 

“Yeah, that’s perfect!” chirped Nagisa. “We can do that right now—or we can watch the movie first, whichever way you want.” Taking the bouquet with one hand, he tugged on Rei’s arm with the other. “C’mon in, Rei-chan!” The taller man staggered into the genkan, Nagisa pulling the door shut behind him. 

Just as Rei managed to catch his balance, a pair of arms circled around his midriff. When Rei looked down, Nagisa was looking up at him—face rosy, chin resting partially on Rei’s chest, lips stretched in a wide smile.

“Thanks for the flowers, Rei-chan—and for coming here today.” His eyes twinkled warmly, and all Rei wanted to do was lean down and—shaking his head, the taller man hastily redirected his thoughts to their conversation. 

“N-no,“ he managed to stutter. “I’m the one intruding in your home. It’s really the least I can do—“ His hands hovered in the air, before settling gingerly on Nagisa’s waist. 

“So polite, Rei-chan!” After smiling up at Rei for a few more seconds, Nagisa released him and cradled the bouquet in his arms. “I kinda forgot that I don’t have dirt or flowerpots ready, though—maybe we can go get some later, after you’ve had a drink and rested up awhile.” 

“That’s fine with me.” Nodding his acquiesce, Rei’s eyes traveled beyond the genkan. “S-so this is what your apartment looks like.” Trying to distract himself from blushing, the younger man observed the small living room and kitchen area before him. Sunlight from the veranda and windows filled the room, decked out in colorful curtains and rugs and mismatched but comfy-looking furniture. Many of the objects had a duck or penguin motif on them—Rei also noticed a fair number of strawberry patterned items. His eyes landed on a familiar mug hanging on the rack above the kitchen sink—a white one with a splash of red and green paint, creating an abstract-looking strawberry—and he smiled. 

“Yeah.” Next to him, Nagisa laughed sheepishly. “I was doing some major last minute cleaning before you came, so it’s not super-tidy or anything—” So that explained the small commotion Rei had heard through the door.

“It suits you,” Rei said, with a fondness in his voice that made Nagisa feel warm. “I’m assuming all the penguin and strawberry patterned things are yours? And don’t worry, I didn’t expect your home to be perfectly tidy,” he teased.

“Heyy, what’s that supposed to mean?” The blond pouted. “I do clean! Occasionally. With Ai-chan—we did some spring cleaning a few weeks ago, but a small place like this gets cluttered quickly, you know?” He grinned. “But yep, all the penguin and strawberry stuff is mine! Ai-chan brought all the duck stuff when he moved in.” 

“I thought so.” A thought occurred to Rei. “Speaking of your roommate, was he all right with me visiting today?”

“Oh, I already told Ai-chan a few days ago that you were coming!” A faint pink dusted Nagisa’s face, but his smile grew somewhat mischievous. “He won’t be coming back til late, so—the only rule is to keep all the steamy action confined to my room.” He winked cheerily, and Rei seemed to choke on his own breath. 

_“A-action_ —just what did he think we’d be _doing?!”_

“Aw, you mean you’re not planning on making out with me, Rei-chan?” When Rei’s flush traveled to his neck, Nagisa took pity and poked him playfully in the side. “I’m kidding—I’m not gonna jump you without warning or anything!” _**With** warning, maybe,_ he almost added. “Anyways, want something to drink?”

“Water, please.” Rei coughed—and realized how his throat was a little dry. “Or barley tea, if you have it—“

“Rei-chan’s like an old man!” 

“Wha—!” Giggling, Nagisa swept towards the kitchen.

“Don’t just keep standing in the genkan, Rei-chan—make yourself at home!” He opened the refrigerator and rummaged for the water pitcher, humming a random pop song. Blushing at the way his hips moved, Rei quickly tore his eyes away.

“I’ll be intruding, then.” After toeing off his shoes and setting them straight, the brunet entered the living room and sat gingerly on the lime green couch. It looked second-hand, but Rei found that it was very cushy and comfortable. He sat and fiddled with his hands until a glass of water was plopped down on the coffee table. 

“There’s some fruit in the fridge if you want some.” Nagisa was also plopping himself down next to Rei, the strawberry mug in his hand full of orange juice. “If you want me to prepare some—I haven’t gotten out that kitchen knife in forever but I’m _pretty_ sure I can butcher that pineapple Grandma sent—“ After picturing Nagisa trying to slam a knife into a pineapple, Rei shook his head firmly.

“I’ve had plenty for lunch, Nagisa-kun. Perhaps later—and _I’ll_ be the one preparing the fruit,” he added.

“Aw, Rei-chan, you don’t trust my mad kitchen skills?” Soft blond curls nuzzled against Rei’s shoulder. “I’ve been living on my own for over two years now!” 

“Do you _know_ how much work goes into preparing a pineapple?” Turning, Rei squinted suspiciously. “And you _just_ said you haven’t used a kitchen knife in a—“ His speech was cut off when something warm brushed against his thigh. Rei’s eyes dropped down to see Nagisa’s tan leg against his own. “—wh-while—“ Seeming deaf to Rei’s stammer, Nagisa puffed his cheeks up.

“That’s not fair, Rei-chan—you’re underestimating me just because you’re like, the Iron Chef of bentos!“ He nestled against Rei’s side in protest, making the taller man swallow.

“I—I am _not_ ,” he mumbled in response to both claims, face turning a nice shade of pink. “E-even I would have difficulty preparing a pineapple—and you really flatter me too much, I’ve only ever made use of basic skills in the kitchen—“ He tried not to squirm in his nervousness, at least not noticeably. 

“Are you kidding? Your egg rolls and fried chicken were _amazing,_ ” sighed Nagisa. “Oh! I know!” His eyes lit up, and he propped his chin on Rei’s shoulder to make eye contact. “We should make dinner together later! And I can be your test subject!” 

“Um—but you and I will be the only people eating in the first place—“ 

“So? All the more food for me!” The blond plopped his head down on Rei’s shoulder, with an anticipatory smile. “I get to have more of Rei-chan’s amazing cooking—hurray!” With these words, Rei’s eyes softened with affection, and so did his posture. As nervous as his current setting made him, he found Nagisa’s warmth against his side pleasant. 

“Honestly…it’s just a matter of mastering simple recipes…” Subconsciously, Rei’s arm was reaching around Nagisa’s back. Just when he was about to tug his boyfriend closer, Nagisa shot off the couch with a loud gasp. Instead of the blond’s shoulder, Rei’s arm met air and he fell sideways onto the couch. 

“I just remembered, Rei-chan—the flower shop closes early on weekends! We’d better hurry and—” When he saw Rei lying on his side, glasses askew, Nagisa cocked his head curiously. “Why’re you lying down, Rei-chan? Are you sleepy?”

“N-not at all! I was just—doing one-arm pushups!” Hastily propping himself on his arm, Rei began demonstrating, laughing awkwardly. “It takes effort to keep fit in these modern times!” 

“Hmm—“ Nagisa smiled flirtatiously, with a glint of mischief in his eyes. “It doesn’t look like you’re having any trouble with that, if you know what I mean.” Then, his expression averted into a cheery smile. “Now let’s go get a home for those daisies!” 

“Y-yes. Let’s…” Placing a hand over his red glasses and face, Rei trailed after his boyfriend towards the genkan.

 

* * *

 

They spent a fair portion of the afternoon planting the bouquet of daisies on the veranda. Or rather, caught up in activities that preceded the actual planting. Even under the summer heat with a heavy bag of pots and soil in tow, Rei found that Nagisa got distracted easily when he was outside—by anything from a stray cat to an advertisement flier for a grotesque-looking horror-themed hobby shop. After pulling Nagisa away from those distractions, and having the odd snack or two from street vendors (which Rei couldn’t pull Nagisa away from, no matter how hard he tried), they were finally back at the apartment. Not that Rei had minded too much—over the two months or so that he’d grown acquainted with Nagisa, he had grown to enjoy such spontaneity in their dates. 

Of course, that wasn’t to say that the actual planting wasn’t fun. It was hot out on the veranda, of course, but working and chatting with Nagisa under the sun was worth it, even in the middle of summer. Before, Rei might not have thought that toiling in such a way, with sweat running everywhere and dirt smudging his skin and clothes, was beautiful. But even with sweat beading on his forehead and a smudge of dirt on his nose, Nagisa was beautiful. In the way the sun lit his skin and golden hair, made the light in his irises dance as he planted and talked about nonsensical things. In the way he beamed when their work was complete, a row of potted daisies lining the veranda wall with their bright colors. The only thought Rei had about the dirt on his face was that he wanted to reach over and wipe it away, feel the warmth of his boyfriend’s sun-soaked skin against the tips of his own fingers.

In the end, Rei had used a handkerchief. But even so, the gesture felt unexpectedly intimate. Perhaps it had something to do with the two of them being in Nagisa’s apartment, or the way Nagisa smiled and nuzzled Rei’s hand with his nose afterwards. The gesture reminded Rei of the Pomeranian they’d encountered at the pet shop on one of their dates. Though the dog had overwhelmed Rei with its enthusiasm and licking, it had also nuzzled him with its nose in a sweet, affectionate way. The moment on the veranda left Rei with a sudden rush of fondness for Nagisa, along with a sense of wonder. Two months ago, Rei hadn’t even been on speaking terms with Nagisa—and now, here they were, together in a romantic relationship. 

Rei didn’t realize he’d been staring, until Nagisa spoke up.

“Earth to Rei-chan?” Though the blond was still smiling, his cheeks were starting to dust a light peach. “Is there still something on my face?” Snapping out of his reverie, Rei blushed and looked away.

“N-no, um, I was just thinking—“ He scratched behind his ear while smiling shyly. “That it’s kind of amazing how we are right now. Two months ago, I thought our first date might be our last.” He laughed a little. “Actually, I couldn’t believe I even worked up the nerve to ask for that date. I don’t think I was even thinking straight, really, I was in such a nervous wreck.” His smile grew reminiscent. “But you were kind about it and helped me relax. And to think that we were able to see each other again and again, until today—it makes me pretty happy.” Laughing sheepishly, Rei’s hand traveled to the nape of his neck. “Although it’s a little embarrassing to say out loud—“

“I’m really glad you did.” Rei’s mouth fell open slightly. Nagisa was now fumbling with some leftover soil in a pot, the shovel in his hand scooping and unscooping the earth. “I know I took a while to come around—you were the one who was kind about it, and patient.” His cheeks were an apple-red now. “That’s one of the things I really like about Rei-chan.”

For a while, save for the sounds of idle digging, there was only silence. Rei watched Nagisa’s ears turn pink, and felt his own ears do the same.

“O-Ohh!!” Unable to stand the embarrassed silence, it was Rei who shot up first. “S-since we’re done, we should head inside, Nagisa-kun! To avoid a heat stroke, yes! You, er, mentioned that you had fruit in the fridge? Haha, let me prepare some for you!” Hastily opening the veranda door, Rei practically bolted inside, hand pushing his glasses up even though his face was turned away. 

On the veranda, Nagisa dropped the shovel and shrank into himself, hiding his face in his hands with a small whine.

 

* * *

 

The thing was, Nagisa and Rei hadn’t had their first kiss yet. They were now two weeks into their relationship, and as much as Nagisa had wanted to fling his arms around Rei and kiss the breath out of him before, he knew this was Rei’s first time dating someone. He also knew that Rei wasn’t as comfortable with physical affection as he himself was—Rin had also dropped some un-subtle hints that it might take time for them to ‘advance bases on the field’. And while Rei now seemed comfortable with hugs and holding hands (maybe just because of how touchy-feely Nagisa usually was), he and Nagisa hadn’t really discussed boundaries yet. Because Rei didn’t tend to initiate such conversations, the blond had no idea what his boyfriend was ready for at this point. And Nagisa hardly wanted to scare Rei away or turn him off over something like too much skinship come too soon.

But it was kind of hard, restraining himself from getting too close. Especially since Rei was in his apartment—and now, after what he’d said on the veranda, Nagisa was feeling the strongest urge to kiss Rei. Brush his slightly chapped lips against Rei’s thinner smooth ones, mesh them against each other as they exchanged breaths, run his tongue along Rei’s as he pushed their warm bodies together and—

The sound of Rei sniffing next to him brought Nagisa back to earth. And that was when he remembered that they were sitting in his bedroom, watching The Life of a Mouse which, while it offered a tear-jerking lesson adults and children alike could learn from, was hardly an appropriate movie to play in the background while battling sexual frustration. Especially when Nagisa’s own boyfriend seemed engrossed in the movie—Rei’s violet eyes were glistening with tears, his hands trying in vain to keep them from overflowing. It made Nagisa feel kind of guilty.

“H-How could Mickio d-do such a thing?” Rei was sniffling. “He’s so brave!” The rims of his eyes were rosy from crying—his dark bangs fell over one eye, and he hastily pushed them up with his palm as he sniffed again. He was adorable, so, _so_ adorable—Nagisa wanted to run his thumbs over Rei’s cheekbones, trail his hands down to his neck, pull him down and lock their lips together—

When he realized he was literally an inch from Rei’s face, Nagisa froze. He let out a breath of surprise against Rei’s cheek, and the brunet turned with wide eyes. They stared at each other in silence, mouths slightly open as The Life of a Mouse played in the background. 

It was Nagisa who dropped his head first. Burying his burning face in Rei’s shoulder, the blond murmured, “Let’s make omurice for dinner, Rei-chan.” 

“—Eh?” Nagisa could feel Rei exhale slightly. “Ah, er—sure. Of course, Nagisa-kun.” When he heard Rei’s signature awkward laugh, Nagisa groaned to himself silently. 

Maybe it was a mistake, inviting Rei into his apartment. Because restraining himself was turning out to be way, _way_ harder than he’d thought.

 

* * *

 

_Be a gentleman. Be a gentleman. **Be a gentleman—**_

 

As they stood next to each other in the kitchen, weirdly silent, Rei kept chanting this reminder in his head. Just being in his boyfriend’s apartment didn’t give license for his hands to wander—or his _thoughts,_ for that matter. So what if Nagisa had brought his face up close—there might have been something on Rei’s face that he was checking out in the dark of the bedroom. Or any other of the fifty different explanations Rei’s brain had churned out in an attempt to restrain himself from leaning down and—

A loud crackling sound from the pan made Rei jump. Realizing that he’d put the fire on too high, he hastily turned the burner knob to medium. The olive oil in the pan hissed as its sizzling grew to a minimum, and Rei sighed out in relief. 

“Ah, um—do you have eggs in your fridge, Nagisa-kun?” Beside him, Nagisa also seemed to snap out of his daze.

“Oh—yeah! Of course!” The blond laughed, voice a little higher than usual. “Wouldn’t want the eggs to be kis— _missing! Missing_ from the omurice!” Rei blinked as the blond skipped hastily towards the refrigerator. “Um, what else do we need again, Rei-chan?”

“Er—“ Now that he thought about it, Rei realized they hadn’t gotten any of the ingredients out. “Do you have any cooked rice on hand? And anything else you’d like to go in the rice?”

“Yeah! I think we have some rice in the cooker—oh, and there’s strawberry syrup and whipped cream and marmalade—“

“Why would _any_ of that go in _omurice?!”_

“Why not? It’s the same stuff that goes in Iwatobikkuri bread, it’d be delicious! ” 

“We are _not_ whipping up some kind of diabetes-inducing dessert, we are cooking a _meal!_ ” Before Rei, Nagisa pouted a little.

“Boo, Rei-chan!” He stuck out his tongue and whirled around. “Guess I better see what there is, then!” He went to the fridge and rummaged through it, eventually emerging with half a head of cabbage, some bacon, a pack of mushrooms, and five eggs. “Here!”

“Aren’t you going to use the bell peppers in there?” asked Rei, peering at the still-open refrigerator.

“Nope!” With a light prod from his foot, Nagisa closed the fridge door. “Don’t you know the fourth commandment, Rei-chan? There shall be no bell peppers in edible food, ever!” 

“Really. The fourth commandment,” repeated Rei, with amusement. 

“It’s all written in the Hazuki code,” Nagisa said solemnly. “No onions either!” And that was when Rei privately decided he’d come up with a special recipe using both those ingredients, for the sake of his boyfriend’s health.

“Very well then. Do you have another frying pan for the eggs?”

“Yep—just a minute!”

After some coordinating of duties—with Rei handling the chopping and dicing and tossing while Nagisa had the job of handing utensils to him—they had the decent beginnings of fried rice cooking in one pan. It was all Rei could do to keep Nagisa from wolfing down the entire portion—the eggs were still left to cook, after all. 

“Nagisa-kun, you _did_ say you wanted _omurice_ , remember?” With a wary hand, Rei gingerly pushed against Nagisa’s insistent face. “And it’s dangerous to be so close to the burner, _please_ back away!” 

“Fine, fine!” Puffing his cheeks out, the blond reluctantly drew away. “…Just one more spoon? Please?” Under his doe-eyed stare, Rei eventually caved.

“Fine. Just one—but no more!” From the way Nagisa’s face lit up, one would’ve thought he was tasting the rice for the first time. Shaking his head in fond amusement, Rei scooped another spoonful of rice and held it towards Nagisa. Smiling, the blond only moved forward and opened his mouth. Starting a little, Rei flushed—he’d expected Nagisa to take the spoon from his hand instead. Recollecting himself, Rei fed Nagisa with the spoon, and the blond began chewing happily. He swallowed, and his shoulders shrank a little with contentment. 

“It’s sho good!” His cheeks were a pleased pink, with a few grains of rice stuck to the corner of his lips. Rei could practically _feel_ his heart melting.

“You should really chew your food longer, Nagisa-kun,” he admonished gently. Before he knew it, his hand was reaching out, fingertips brushing the rice off Nagisa’s mouth. It was only when he saw Nagisa’s wide eyes that Rei halted. 

“—Ah. Um. You, er—you had some rice, stuck to your—“ In his embarrassment Rei’s voice petered out. Again, that same feeling of tension was back—his pulse began skittering as Nagisa just stared back at him for some time. And then he laughed, in that voice that was two tones higher and, if Rei wasn’t mistaken, with a hint of _self-consciousness._

 _“Ah!_ I just remembered something, Rei-chan! There’s parsley or something like that in the pantry, I think we can add a pinch of that too!” His cheeks were flushed, and his curls bounced over his cherry eyes as he turned. Rei couldn’t even comment about the oddness of putting parsley in fried rice, because of the sudden urge that made his throat stick and his gut flip with terror and excitement.

 

If he didn’t act now, he thought he might pass out.

 

Swallowing, Rei strode forward and placed a hand on Nagisa’s shoulder. The blond turned immediately, eyes startled. 

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei breathed out hoarsely. “May I kiss you before I lose my nerve?”

 

When Nagisa’s stare grew wide, Rei almost _did_ lose his nerve. Oh—oh god, what was he _doing?_ He was supposed to be a gentleman—this was _not_ supposed to happen, he was _not_ supposed to corner his boyfriend of two weeks against the kitchen counter in his _apartment_ and _corner_ him like this—

“Yes,” a voice breathed out, a touch shaky but eager. 

For a moment, Rei thought he was hallucinating. Now his own eyes were wide as they swiveled down towards Nagisa, whose entire face was a gentle pink. Their eyes locked for a moment, enough for Rei to realize this was really going to happen. And then, Nagisa’s eyes fluttered closed, and he tilted his chin up slightly. Other than that, he didn’t move—knowing his boyfriend was waiting for him, Rei took a deep breath and began leaning down—

 

_**POP!** _

 

The loud sound of oil popping made both men jump. Equally loud sizzling followed, and Rei’s head jerked around towards the second pan on the stove. It was then that he remembered—they still had to cook the eggs, but had only coated the second pan with oil. 

“S-sorry—“ Not sure why he was apologizing, Rei hurried over to the stove and turned off the burner. He felt a little frazzled. “I forgot—about the—“ He felt a new wave of heat wash over his face. “M-maybe we should finish cooking first? Um—“

“Sorry, Rei-chan.” 

Huh? Before Rei could process Nagisa’s muttering, he was yanked around by the arm and pulled down swiftly. He barely had time to register Nagisa’s arms wrapping around his neck, before his breath was stolen away by warm, slightly chapped lips. 

Rei’s eyes widened and his mind began swimming for the first few moments as the blond took charge, brushing their lips together, coaxing Rei’s open to slot their mouths closer. Fleetingly, Rei’s registered the faint taste of fried rice—his hands, hovering in the air, slowly landed on Nagisa’s shoulders. 

For a moment, Nagisa thought Rei was going to pull away—but then, he felt himself being pushed against the door of the pantry. And then, Rei’s hands were traveling down against his sides, caressing the dip between his waist and hips. The blond inhaled with surprise, but not for long—because Rei was starting to kiss him back, fumbling with an inexperienced uncertainty that Nagisa found endearing. 

They broke apart now and then, to catch their breaths, but once their eyes locked they were drawn back towards each other, without fail. In fact, Nagisa thought they were getting pretty close to making out—it was a little dizzying how quickly Rei’s kissing was improving, and with Nagisa’s hand fisted against his chest and Rei’s hand trailing up beneath his shirt, the two of them were getting rather warm and cozy. 

Feeling drunk in the moment, Nagisa teased Rei’s mouth open—his tongue slid across Rei’s teeth, making Rei gasp a little. But then he surged forward, reciprocating the gesture. Their tongues slid warmly over each other, once, twice, thrice, before Nagisa began feeling light-headed. With a gasp, he pulled away from the kiss, arms loosening around Rei’s neck as he did. Immediately, Rei pulled back as well, pupils shrinking from their dilated state.

“I’m—oh god—“ he breathed out, sounding as faint as Nagisa felt, but also a little panicked. To Nagisa’s great disappointment, Rei’s hands lifted away from his body as he backed away. “I’m sorry—th-that was _awfully_ forward of me—I don’t know what I was _thinking_ , I just—“ For a moment, Nagisa felt his stomach drop, scared that Rei regretted the whole thing. 

“—just because I’ve wanted to do that for a long time doesn’t give me the right to—“ Blinking, the blond looked up at Rei, who was now hiding his noticeably red face in one hand.

“You _wanted_ to?” Nagisa breathed out. Seeming surprised by the question, Rei peered at Nagisa between his fingers.

“Of course—I asked just now if I could kiss you, didn’t I?” He buried his face in his hand again. “Only I didn’t mean to—to come _onto_ you in a place like your _apartment_ —and after I wanted to act like a _gentleman_ —“ Now his ears were also a tomato red. “Please forgive me for my inappropriateness—” 

“How long?” Stepping forward, Nagisa tugged gently on the crook of Rei’s elbow, making him look down with some reluctance. “How long have you wanted to kiss me?” In response, Rei gaped back for some time before averting his eyes.

“W-well—remember that I’ve liked you for a long time, Nagisa-kun—b-but it’s not like I was going to force a kiss on you before you were ready! _Definitely_ not before you accepted my feelings!” Now Rei’s face was practically on fire. “I was going to wait longer—a-and I was going to look up some theories before I—and it was supposed to take place somewhere _else_ , somewhere _romantic_ and less _suggestive_ —“ The more Rei tripped over his tongue, the more relaxed Nagisa grew. Eventually he began to giggle, before he burst into cheery laughter. 

“Na— _Nagisa-kun!_ ” Rei wailed miserably, as the blond doubled over before him. After a few more moments, Nagisa collected himself. Eyes crinkled and cheeks pink, he looked up at his boyfriend with a smile. 

“You didn’t _have_ to wait longer, Rei-chan.” His hand reached over to hold Rei’s, fingers squeezing Rei’s fondly. “Your timing was perfect.” _Could’ve been a little earlier too_ , he thought, but didn’t say so out loud. The important thing was that Rei had wanted to, as much as Nagisa had. And now that it’d happened, they didn’t have to hold themselves back anymore. “And you don’t have to worry so much about the setting and all that,” he teased. “I _know_ you’re not the type to try and throw your boyfriend into bed, not after two weeks of dating.” Choking a little, Rei colored and turned away.

“Th-that’s good, then,” he mumbled shyly. Grinning, Nagisa inched closer to Rei and looped his arms around his waist.

“C’mon, Rei-chan—hug me.” He rested his cheek on Rei’s chest, and Rei only took a moment to oblige. With his boyfriend’s arms around his own waist and his chin resting against his hair, Nagisa felt content—he snuggled closer, a warm sensation blooming all over him. He could feel Rei melt into their embrace as well, and he curled a little with happiness.

“Um—I was wondering, Nagisa-kun,” Rei spoke, voice muffling little against Nagisa’s blond locks. “Why did you say ‘sorry’ just now? Before you, um—” 

“Before I pulled you down and started making out?” When he felt Rei’s skin radiate heat, Nagisa giggled. “Kind of the same reason as Rei-chan, I guess. I’ve wanted to kiss Rei-chan for a long time, too—but Rin-chan told me you probably needed time to get touchy-feely.” He pinched the skin above Rei’s hipbones lightly, and laughed when Rei jumped. “And I was kind of scared that you’d change your mind, so…” 

“Hardly.” Rei’s voice was firm, and Nagisa’s heart thumped happily in his chest. “I was only nervous. That um, that my inexperience would…make things terribly awkward. Or un-beautiful.” 

“Aw, Rei-chan—how can kissing you ever be un-beautiful?” Nagisa nuzzled his head against Rei’s chest affectionately. “You’re the most beautiful person in the universe. I even had dreams about kissing you, too!” he remembered suddenly. “And that was _before_ we started dating!” 

“Nagisa-kun…” Rei sounded surprised and embarrassed and pleased at the same time. “I…really?” Nagisa wasn’t sure what part he was trying to confirm, but he nodded. Everything he’d just said was true anyways. 

“Really!” Feeling a little mischievous, the blond batted his eyes up at Rei. “If you want proof, we can start mastering those theories of yours now.” Not for the first time, Rei seemed to choke on thin air. Nagisa was starting to giggle when a loud rumble came from his stomach. “Well—maybe after dinner?” he said sheepishly, with a twinkle to his eye. And though he was still red, Rei couldn’t help but smile.

“We’d best hurry before the fried rice gets cold. Let us finish the perfect meal!” With all the flamboyance of a gourmet chef, the brunet released Nagisa and swept towards the stove with a flourish of his apron. Laughing, Nagisa skipped after Rei, with a new lightness to his footsteps.

 

* * *

 

Once dinner was complete, they sat closely at the small kitchen table, feeding each other what Nagisa swore was the best omurice he’d tasted in his life. After cleaning up together, they spent quality time talking and cuddling on the sofa. 

It was here that they had a small talk about skinship and what each of them were comfortable with—apparently, Rin had exaggerated a little in his advice to both of them on the topic. In the end, they agreed that as long as they were considerate of each other and willing to communicate, they would be all right down the road. Somehow, they’d diverged from that topic to Nagisa’s dream about being kissed by Rei—a conversation that made Nagisa relive his own awkwardness after their pool date. But maybe the embarrassment had been worth it, because soon enough Nagisa was coaxing Rei into talking about some of _his_ similar dreams. And _then_ —as a byproduct or not—they’d proceeded to master some kissing theories, as Nagisa had suggested earlier.

By the end of their date, whatever background tension that had hung between them had long vanished—replaced by a warm and thrilling feeling. Anticipation, of the things to come in their still newly budding relationship. It was amazing, Rei thought, how Nagisa could make him feel comfortable about a topic like skinship in a relatively short amount of time. Of course, Nagisa was also the cause of much of Rei’s nervousness these days—not that that was a bad thing at all. As they stood together in the genkan, Nagisa reaching up to peck him on the lips, Rei decided that Nagisa himself was just an amazing person. 

“You sure you don’t want me to walk you to the station?” Smiling, Rei shook his head.

“It’s late—and the station’s only a little ways from here. I’ll be fine.” Nodding reluctantly, Nagisa reached over to squeeze Rei’s hands with his. 

“Text me when you’re home, okay?” His eyes glowed warmly as he smiled up at Rei. “Thanks for coming over. I had a great time today.” His tone grew mischievous. “One of these days, you should sleep over.” Predictably, Rei made a sputtering noise and reddened.

“P-perhaps sometime in the future. The _far_ future.” In response, Nagisa laughed, and Rei watched, violet eyes softening fondly.

 

“You know something, Nagisa-kun?” 

Nagisa looked up. “What is it, Rei-chan?”

“You have a knack for making me feel at ease _and_ not. But being around you always feels natural.” Rei smiled, returning Nagisa’s words from earlier. “That’s one of the things I like most about you.” 

He saw Nagisa’s eyes round, and his face growing pink. And then, he was burying his face in Rei’s chest, hands fisting in his butterfly-print shirt.

“This isn’t fair, Rei-chan,” Rei could hear him mumble. “Now I _really_ don’t want to send you away.” Laughing softly, Rei reached up to stroke Nagisa’s hair with his fingers. And his spare arm was wrapping around Nagisa’s waist, tugging him back for a last hug, because now there was no reason not to, no reason to hold back—

Until the sound of the doorbell made Rei near jump out of his shoes. His head whipped around, eyes wide as if they’d already been walked in on. In contrast, Nagisa didn’t even budge from his position. 

“N-Nagisa-kun! Isn’t that your—I should _really_ be going now—“ When Rei tried to detach from him, Nagisa whined in protest and tightened his grip.

“It’s just Ai-chan being a dick—he’s not actually gonna _barge in—“_

“Perhaps not, but that _does_ seem like my cue to _leave—“_

_“If you guys are making out in the genkan, could you please wrap it up?”_ Hearing Ai’s voice, Rei froze with mortification. _“Maybe sometime in the next three minutes?”_

“Oh my _gosh_ , Ai-chan, could you _not—“_ With a loud sigh and a pout, Nagisa reluctantly released Rei. “Guess you have to go, Rei-chan.” 

“Good night, Nagisa-kun,” Rei replied, with an uneasy glance back at the door. “And um, sweet dreams.” With Nagisa’s giggle, Rei promptly remembered their conversation from earlier and reddened. Still, he pressed a quick peck to Nagisa’s forehead before he turned towards the door. 

“Good night, Rei-chan!” With a smile, Nagisa watched as Rei walked out the doorway, ducking his head in embarrassed politeness towards an amused-looking Ai. He trailed out after Rei, propped his arms on the railing and watched as his boyfriend made his way towards the station. When Nagisa went back inside, Ai gave him a half-amused, half-thoughtful look-down.

“Remember, Hazuki-kun—keep it inside your room.” 

Nagisa thought about it—making out in the kitchen wasn’t _that_ scandalous, was it? In the end, he just smiled sweetly and threw a slipper at his roommate.

 

Maybe next time, he thought, he could visit Rei’s apartment instead.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dream Nagisa talked about was mentioned in [Chapter 5](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4549632/chapters/10553535).
> 
> So there were only going to be two extras for this fic, but someone might've said they wanted to see how Nagisa and Rei's first kiss went, so...I see it happening something like this (it was really supposed to happen during the movie and a lot shorter but I can never write drabbles that are actually short lmao)
> 
> Next up is the last chapter, based on Rei's POV (which I had a ton of fun writing!) Thank you for reading as always, please tell me your thoughts :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Rei, Hazuki Nagisa is nothing more than a friend's friend who stands out a bit. 
> 
> At first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like people might want to take a look into Rei's head in this fic, since it was mostly from Nagisa's POV, so...here you go! Hope you enjoy this last chapter as much as I did writing it :)

_Last year in May, I first saw that incomprehensible person. Loud, childish, impulsive, with an appetite beyond human understanding. Whenever I saw him, he was always joking, always smiling, always laughing about something._

 

_Truth be told, I found that even harder to understand.  
_

 

* * *

****

**Extra 2: Illogical**

* * *

 

**-Last Year, August-**

 

“Huh? What do you mean, you don’t want to come?” Across the café table, Rin stabbed his fork accusingly at Rei. “I’ve asked you four times if you’d get some drinks with us and all those times you said you were busy. _Now_ you’re telling me you don’t want to meet him?” 

“I was trying to be polite,” Rei replied, turning a page in his book on fluid mechanics. “Despite my personal opinion, he appears to be a good friend of yours. I would hardly wish to sully your outing with my presence.” 

“What _opinion_?” asked Rin with disbelief. “You’ve never even _met_ the guy directly. What opinion can you _possibly_ have already?” 

“He seems rather loud. Unrestrained.” _Illogical._ Rei turned another change in his book. “From what I’ve seen of his personality, I highly doubt we would ever get along.” Rin’s brow lifted towards his hairline.

“So what? When _we_ first met, we weren’t all buddy-buddy either,” he pointed out. “Well, with the way you were being all stiff and standoffish, there weren’t a ton of people who were buddy-buddy with you, but—” 

“So you _do_ acknowledge that we are good friends,” Rei remarked, with a faint smirk at Rin. “Even with the year in-between high school and college.” 

“Wha—” Flushing, Rin clicked his tongue and turned his head sideways. “It’s not like we need to address that come now! And even in that year, we were in the same city anyways.”

“We hardly saw each other, due to my exams and your freshman year,” Rei pointed out. “Still, to be in the same banal senpai and kouhai relationship for five years running—what a long time we have ahead of us.”

“Oi. Are you seriously picking a fight?” Sighing, Rin propped his cheek in one hand. “I don’t know what Nagisa ever did to get on your bad side.” He frowned slightly. “But you really need to stop calculating people up-front, or whatever it is you do. You’re never gonna make friends that way, you know?”

“I _have_ made friends,” the brunet replied smoothly. “They are all esteemed members of the Physics Club.” Rin groaned. 

“I meant with people who don’t necessarily share your nerd hobbies! Give me a break over here!” He rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. “No wonder you kept disappearing when he was around. And I thought Nagisa could get you to loosen up a bit. He can be a handful sometimes, but he’s not that hard to get along with, you know?” And both Nagisa and Rei were good friends to Rin—another reason he had wanted to introduce them, but Rin hardly wanted to admit that out loud. Before him, Rei closed his book, eyes looking vaguely thoughtful.

“A person like him defies my understanding. How would I ever get along with someone like that?”

“—Huh?” With a shake of his head, Rei dismissed his own words.

“It’s nothing, Rin-san. And certainly don’t let my absence ruin your evening.” His smile was somewhat snarky and Rin’s brow twitched.

“To hell with your absence—we’re gonna be swimming in drinks tonight!” On an afterthought, he blinked. “Or maybe not—he is seeing some guy lately, so he’s stopped crying to me about the one before him, thank god—”

“I see.” Not paying much attention to the news, Rei opened his physics book. “Nonetheless, enjoy your evening, Rin-san. And make good choices.” Rin snorted.

“You’re such a mom.”

 

* * *

 

Even if he turned down Rin’s invitations, Rei knew he’d see more of Hazuki Nagisa than he wanted to anyways. They never met directly, it was true—largely due to Rei’s one-sided efforts—but with the blond constantly around the same college area as he was, it was getting harder and harder not to run into him. 

Thankfully, Nagisa made it easy for Rei to notice his presence—with such an eye-catching personality, it was hard for any passerby citizen to not notice him. At least one out of four pedestrians would stop to stare through the family diner window as the blond devoured a whole pepperoni pizza at an incredible speed, a slice constantly in each hand and his mouth full with a third. Many stand owners, cashiers, waitresses, and other strangers in society would be taken aback by the way he addressed them so informally, by their first names and a ‘-chan’ at the end, without fail. And certainly anyone with any sense in color and aesthetics would take a double take at his wardrobe—rainbow socks, ridiculously loud patterns, _neon—so much_ neon, Rei thought with a shudder, and never as the point color. There were other things too, that made him eye-catching—the way he tackled all of his acquaintances with over-energetic hugs (he was so open about PDA in general), the way he pressed his face against display windows that interested him and yelled his excitement out loud for everyone to hear, the way he’d easily join a kickball game at the park with children not even half his age. 

And speaking of the park—Rei had seen Nagisa do stranger things. Late one night, the brunet had been returning to his apartment after studying in the library, when he heard singing in the park he was passing through. To his left there had been a playground, and when Rei turned towards it, there Nagisa had been, standing on top of the monkey bars with his arms spread out and belting out some pop song at the top of his lungs. The blond had also been swaying a little suspiciously, and Rei had stiffened, wondering if he was going to fall off. 

In the end, he’d quieted down and stumbled off to the safety of the ground, and Rei had exhaled in relief. But only because he was Rin’s friend—and Rei was loath to wish misfortune on someone just because they were illogical and under the substances.

So in short, Rei just couldn’t understand Nagisa at all. And it wasn’t just because he was strange. It was because no matter what he was doing, what situation Rei caught sight of him in, Nagisa was always cheerful. Even when a stranger got mad at him for stepping on his foot, even when a friend made a particularly rude joke about him, even when he was stood up by someone and sat alone in a restaurant for an hour. How could a single person be smiling all the times Rei saw him? People like that made Rei suspicious—he’d met someone like that once or twice before, and in the end they’d either been talking about him behind his back or trying to use him to get what they wanted…

 

_‘You’re never gonna make friends that way, you know?’_

 

Maybe Rin was right, about his habit of calculating people. Finding his thoughts straying in an unwanted direction, the brunet cleared them with a shake of his head. He stood before the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change—and heard a girl’s voice laughing. 

“Geez, Mamoru—you look so silly!” Rei turned to see a high school couple emerge from the flaps over a purikura machine outside an arcade. The girl was apparently pointing out something amusing in the photos she held, and the boy with her was making a face at it. Their hands were joined, and the purikura machine they’d left behind was pink and covered in hearts. Brows pinching together a little, Rei turned just as the light turned green. He made his way across the crosswalk with the other pedestrians.

Romantic love—that was yet another thing Rei found illogical. He recalled all the letters he’d found in his shoe locker in high school, especially the days after his track competitions—pink stationery with discreet heart patterns at their edges, declarations of love penned in small, curvy handwriting. In the end, he’d rejected all of their senders, as politely as he could. 

Such a sentiment was arguably meant to aid survival and reproduction, both practical causes for humanity and the ecosystem—so why did it also cause humans to act less practically, irrationally? Before, when he was younger and saw his parents being sweet with each other, Rei had simply thought it was nice—but as he grew older and more in tune with the rules of science and logic, romantic love became a rather puzzling concept for him. And although he was glad his parents were happy together, Rei privately thought that he himself would never be swept up by such incomprehensible feelings. 

Come to think of it, hadn’t Rin mentioned that Nagisa was seeing someone? Looking back on his memories of seeing the blond, Rei realized that he did in fact seem even more cheerful than usual since July. He supposed that it probably did have something to do with the older man’s romantic affairs. The thought of love itself made Rei’s nose wrinkle, but maybe it wasn’t outside reason for something so illogical to influence an equally illogical person.

If that was the case, then there was no use of looking further into it. He would never find a logical answer. And perhaps, Rei thought, it didn’t even matter so much anyways. It wasn’t like he and Nagisa would ever be friends—or even acquaintances. In fact, if Rei hadn’t seen the man around so much, he probably wouldn’t have thought so much about him in the first place.

 

* * *

 

With the beginning of winter four months later, Rei found a reason to think harder.

 

“Achoo!” He’d been headed back for his apartment after studying for finals at the college library (yes, they were a month away, as Rin had pointed out, but starting a month before was expected, at least for Rei if not his peers, and besides Rei already studied almost every day of the year anyways). To his slight horror, the signs of a cold were starting to surface—Rei led a healthy life with balanced meals and regular exercise, but the common cold seemed to trump it all at least once every two years of his life. Hoping that a good night’s rest would help blow it away, the brunet tugged his red plaid scarf over his nose. 

He was just nearing the park sandboxes when loud sobs began coming from the area. 

At first, he wondered if it was a child who’d gotten injured while playing. But when he got close enough to see the source of the sound, Rei’s eyes widened. 

Sitting on the edge of the sandbox was definitely not a child, but Hazuki Nagisa. His golden hair seemed a darker blond under the grey sky, his skin pale and cheeks flushed from the cold. The fingerless penguin gloves and cheery pink of his winter coat were a glaring contrast with his current mood. His brows were pinched together, his usually bright eyes almost scrunched shut. His lips weren’t curved up in their usual smile, but turned down at the corners. Large tears rolled down his pink cheeks as he cried without restraining his voice, without care for the stares from the park visitors around him. 

The sight clashed so greatly with what Rei was used to, that he almost forgot to hide. Once he was securely behind a tree, he peered out from behind the trunk in disbelief. 

It’d been over half a year since he’d first seen the blond—Rei had started to think that he’d never see an expression on his face other than cheerful or silly. Never had he expected to see Nagisa look this devastated. But now that he had—it felt strange. Stranger than his constant smiling, stranger than his behavior and fashion and anything about him in general. 

‘Strange’ didn’t feel like the right word. Something in Rei’s gut was twisting unpleasantly. But that was natural, wasn’t it? It would be stranger to see someone crying and feel happy about it—or perhaps just downright cruel. 

With his back against the tree, Rei stayed and watched long after the other visitors went away—forgetting about finals, about retiring to bed early, about his cold symptoms. He listened to Nagisa’s sobs quiet with the progression of thirty minutes, saw the blond wipe his tears on his penguin gloves and slap himself twice on the cheeks. With another thirty minutes, the red under his eyes faded to a barely noticeable pink. And again, that smile was back—cheery with the corners curved up. 

When the person Nagisa had been waiting for showed up, it occurred to Rei that he really shouldn’t be watching this. In fact, he really shouldn’t have been watching as the man cried, either—it went against his morals to spy on people during their private moments (or what should be one of them). Yet, Rei’s feet didn’t move from behind the tree. 

With the distance, he couldn’t hear what they were saying clearly. But he noticed that Nagisa’s smile remained intact. He even laughed once, and patted the man before him on the arm. After about ten minutes, he was waving cheerily as his company left him, even standing on the tips of his toes. And then, when the person was gone, his heels landed on the ground and his arm at his side. Rei only saw Nagisa’s back—it looked silent somehow, eerily unlike the blond he knew.

 

That evening, Rei went home and had dinner and opened his textbooks. And instead of studying, he thought—deep into the hours of the night.

 

* * *

 

“How…how is Hazuki-san doing, lately?”

It felt weird for Rei, hearing Nagisa’s name fall from his own lips. Across from him, Rin sighed.

“Remember that guy he started dating in July? Apparently they broke up a few days ago.” Rei inhaled slightly—it was just as he had thought. “I went drinking with him yesterday and the day before—he was being quieter than last time, but considering that it’s Nagisa that’s probably not a good thing.” Rin ran his fingers through his red hair, looking a little exasperated but worried at the same time. 

“Oh.” A beat of silence. “I see.” Not noticing Rei’s expression, Rin went on.

“What did he say about this guy—something about catching the bouquet at a wedding and meeting his eyes?” He sighed. “For someone who starts dating people for cliché reasons, he falls for them way too hard. It looks like he’s been pretty resilient about it up to now—but maybe all those relationships are finally taking a toll on him.” 

“So that’s how it is,” Rei murmured, more to himself than to Rin. Not missing those words, Rin raised a brow at his friend.

“—But why are you asking all of a sudden? You never ask about Nagisa, like ever.” Jumping in his seat, Rei laughed somewhat nervously.

“J-just out of curiosity, Rin-san!” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Since Christmas is coming up and all—in the spirit of holiday caring, you see?!” In return, Rin shot him a dubious look.

“You don’t give two cents about Christmas.” He blinked. “Now that you mention it, that’s coming up in two weeks, huh? Man, what crappy timing…” 

“Very unfortunate,” agreed Rei, cramming his cup of coffee to his lips and praying Rin didn’t pry further.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t as if Rei wanted to keep thinking about it. But just as before, Nagisa kept entering Rei’s line of sight, and well, it wasn’t that Rei didn’t ponder over it when the man _wasn’t_ within his sight, but that was natural, wasn’t it? After witnessing a shocking phenomenon, surely it was natural for said phenomenon to linger on one’s mind. 

Of course, not many people would refer to a man crying loudly in the park as a ‘shocking phenomenon’. Surprising, perhaps, and capable of arousing the public’s curiosity—but not equivalent to something like dead birds falling from the sky or a UFO sighting (the latter which Rei was firmly convinced against, but that wasn’t the point). 

When he thought about it, it did feel a little silly. Of course people had different emotions—of course they couldn’t possibly be cheerful, not all the time. And perhaps those closer to Hazuki Nagisa had seen all the different faces he could make, Rei reasoned—his own surprise just came from the fact that they didn’t even know each other, not really. 

Well, now Rei knew a different face, too. But that wasn’t a big deal. So Nagisa was capable of being something other than cheery. So he could cry that hard over someone he cared about—so he could send that someone off with a flawless smile, in the name of something as illogical as love. So what? What did Rei care about someone who marched against the drumbeat of logic?

 

As he was having these thoughts, Rei came to a stop before the usual crosswalk, the one near the arcade and the gaudy too-pink purikura machine. The light switched from red to green, and he started to move with the crowd. 

“Hey! Watch where you’re going, brat!” An angry voice ripped through the air, and Rei’s eyes rose. And there he was again, facing a grumpy-looking old man with the same unfailing smile.

“Sorry for running into you, ojii-san!” Nagisa chirped, clapping his hands together in apology. “I’ll be sure to be careful next time!” Before him, the old man’s expression grew even crankier.

“What next time!” he huffed, shoving past the blond. “Honestly, youngsters these days are so troublesome,” he continued to grumble, not quietly, as he made his way across the crosswalk. “Dyeing their hair ridiculous colors and charging into people without warning—no sense of manners at all—” Behind him stood Nagisa, and his expression flickered—for a moment, Rei thought he saw the smile disappear. Then, he reached up to tug his bangs once, before turning with that same smile. 

“This _is_ my real hair color, ojii-san!” His voice was loud, expression just as cheery as before, and Rei’s eyes widened slightly. The pedestrians that were passing stared, and the old man’s back stiffened as he stopped. Eventually, he coughed and moved on, without answering. 

“How rude, huh?” Rei heard a few passerby women whisper. “And he was the one who bumped into that blond guy in the first place—”

“So that hair color is natural, huh? He didn’t sound like a foreigner though—” They made their way past Rei onto the sidewalk, while the brunet continued to stand still. He saw Nagisa fluff his bangs a few times before resuming his walk. The blond stepped onto the sidewalk just some feet away from Rei—not noticing the dark-haired man as he made a beeline for the arcade. 

Had he just…? Blinking, Rei found that the light had changed back to red before he could cross. The words ‘fighting back’ flashed across his mind, but his cheery tone hardly seemed to indicate a fight. Rei had been sure that Nagisa would just let the old man’s comment pass and be on his way. 

Maybe Nagisa was less predictable than Rei had thought. In fact, Rei seemed to be getting the realization a lot lately.

 

* * *

 

“His hair?” repeated Rin, with a blink. “Oh, yeah—it’s supposed to be from his great-grandmother. I heard she was French or English or something.” 

“Oh—I always thought it was dyed.” At Rei’s words, Rin laughed.

“You don’t _get_ a color like that from hair dye—that’s why I’ve never touched anything lighter than this red,” he explained, pointing at his own locks. 

“I see.” Rei’s hands went up to twist the tips of his own bangs, just like a certain someone did. 

“Yeah. Now that you know, don’t ask him if it’s dyed. His mom has the same blondish hair, and I think they’ve run into trouble with assholes who wouldn’t let it go before.” 

“Oh.” So his mother was also blond. Rei remembered how the smile on Nagisa’s face had flickered that day. “I’ll be sure to remember that.” 

“Yeah. Though I guess he wouldn’t mind too much, as long as you don’t have any bad intent—” Pausing, Rin stared over at Rei. “—Wait. Does that mean you’re actually gonna interact with him?” 

“—Huh?” Rei blinked back at him owlishly. “O-Of course not,” he stammered, wondering why he was stammering. Raising a brow, Rin leaned back in his chair.

“Well, you sure are asking about him a lot lately, for someone who doesn’t ever plan on meeting him.” 

“Hardly,” Rei countered firmly, and Rin shrugged.

“Whatever you say.”

 

* * *

 

He found himself recalling all the times Nagisa could have been angry but wasn’t. And before, Rei couldn’t figure out what the man got out of acting cheery in those situations. But the next time someone yelled at Nagisa for stepping on their foot and Nagisa wore an apologetic smile, Rei noticed the limp in the stranger’s leg. The next time he saw Nagisa laugh as his friend poked fun at him, Rei noticed that none of their other companions would talk to that one friend. The next time Nagisa smiled at someone who was extremely late for an outing, Rei noticed how fatigued his company seemed with their constant yawning. And then, everything finally added up together—that was Nagisa’s way of being considerate. Rei couldn’t believe that he hadn’t noticed it before—but then again, maybe he just hadn’t been looking hard enough. 

There were times when that consideration was admirable. And other times, Rei found it frustrating. Sometimes he’d find himself wanting to tell all those people off—but then, he’d stop to feel puzzled with himself. It was true that he had his own moral standards in life, but before he’d never cared to act on them for someone he barely knew. Although Rei wasn’t exactly inconsiderate, he hardly believed his consideration for others reached Nagisa’s level—not for almost-strangers, at the least.

After all, almost all the things he did know about Nagisa were from observation, and really, his knowledge was quite limited. Rei only knew about Nagisa’s extreme penchant for penguin goods and strawberry sweets and odd mascot characters. The way he habitually dozed off on the train, unwittingly making a stranger’s shoulder his pillow and drool depository. His habit of flopping down on tables when he was hot or tired, or his tendency to break out into pop or anime songs to express his mood. The way his eyes shone with a rare look of concentration as he beat challenger after challenger at DDR in the local arcade—his calf muscles did look quite outstanding in the shorts or capris he wore while he danced. Not that Rei was looking or anything. There was no reason for him to.

It was just an objective assessment of a human body part.

 

“Mm—” Rin was humming to himself thoughtfully, as one of Nagisa’s favorite pop songs played in the background of the kitchenware store. If Rei recalled correctly, it was the one that he was singing non-stop just a week ago. After a class they shared ended, Rei and Rin had set out for the shopping center so Rin could replace a mug of Nagisa’s he’d accidentally broken. The redhead was holding up a white mug with pink polka dots and a yellow checkered mug, obviously torn between the two. 

“Oi, Rei, which one do you think I should—” Before he could finish, a third mug was thrust in his face. What looked like an abstract painting of a strawberry was splashed across its white porcelain surface. 

“I think this would do better,” Rei said, pushing up his glasses. 

“O—oh…” replied Rin, slightly surprised.

“And I believe they are selling strawberry shampoo for fifty percent off at the store next door.” Rei’s hand hovered over his face. “Not that that’s currently relevant. To us.”

“…Okay?”

 

When Rin told him the next day that Nagisa loved the mug, Rei tried very hard to suppress his smile. When a suspicious-eyed Rin added that Nagisa had also jumped on the strawberry shampoo sale, Rei could hardly keep the corners of his lips from twitching. When the redhead asked how Rei had known Nagisa liked abstract art, Rei just said he’d seen the blond visit an abstract art exhibition before. It was probably half-true—he’d seen Nagisa very enthusiastically pocketing the flier for it near the station, so the man would’ve probably taken the time to visit by now, right?

So he was a thorough observer. Rei had always been—observation was a key skill in science and life in general. 

Thanks to that, Rei also noticed how Nagisa would hardly pass through the park for some time. There was a group of children who always played ball near the sandboxes—Rei sometimes heard them talk about Nagisa, wondering why ‘that blond guy’ wasn’t coming to the park anymore. And sometimes, when Rei passed by the sandboxes, he’d stop to sit in the spot that Nagisa had sat that winter, staring absently at the children as they played ball.

To Rei, love was just as illogical as it had been before the past winter. It was illogical—but he’d considered it, in the form of tears and smiles and a certain blond’s absence from the park. And Rei came to the conclusion that maybe, it bothered him the way it did because despite being illogical, it still existed. Because if Nagisa hadn’t meant all of his illogical feelings, then he wouldn’t have cried so hard that winter. Even if he sometimes used his smile as a tool to smooth situations out or reassure people, every one of those tears had been genuine. Either that, or Nagisa was a very good actor. 

And it wasn’t too far-fetched to say Nagisa himself was the same. He was illogical, and yet he very clearly, very loudly, very visibly, existed. 

He was real. Real enough that Rei’s thoughts of him were showing up as an apparition before his eyes. 

“Heyy, guys, I’m back!” 

“Ah! It’s that blond guy!” 

“Let’s play ball, onii-chan!”

Wait. That wasn’t an apparition. That was the real—

In a flash, Rei was hiding behind a tree, his glasses askew and his heart pounding wildly. When he’d calmed himself down by reasoning that really, there was no reason to be this startled, Rei peered out cautiously from behind the trunk.

“Huh—that glasses guy from earlier is gone!” one of the kids pointed out, and Rei quickly ducked his head back around. 

“Glasses guy?” Rei jolted slightly when Nagisa repeated the kid’s words. “Who’s that?”

“We dunno,” another kid said, shrugging. “He always sits over there and stares off into nowhere though.” 

“Oh.” Nagisa stared at the particular spot on the sandbox for a while, before turning to the children with a smile. “You shouldn’t talk to weird strangers like that, okay?” Behind the tree, Rei almost slipped and fell. 

“But you’re a stranger, too!” pointed out one of the kids. “And you’re weirder!” To that Nagisa gave a laugh—Rei found the sound oddly refreshing. 

“Me? I’m harmless!” Grabbing the ball from one of the kids, the blond threw it on the ground and started kicking it. “C’mon, hurry before you all lose to me!” 

“Hey, no fair!” The patter of smaller footsteps followed, and soon the area before the sandboxes turned into a battle ground of sorts. Rei watched from behind the tree as Nagisa played ball with the kids, kicking up dust and laughing like he was a kid himself. 

It occurred to Rei that this was the most defenseless, carefree Nagisa he’d seen in months. The cold was finally starting to lift from Tokyo—maybe the blond’s discreet sadness was also lifting as well. Or maybe it was because he was around children at the moment—they did say people lowered their guard around children, after all. 

Ten minutes into the game, Nagisa was aiming a particularly enthusiastic kick at the ball when one of the kids snatched it instead. He ended up kicking the air and falling, toppling backwards. A worried sound left Rei’s throat, but the man thankfully didn’t hurt his head, arms snapping back so he fell on his palms. Not seeming to mind, the blond let his upper body fall on the ground. A wide smile split across his face, and to Rei’s utter confusion, he started to giggle in earnest before bursting into laughter. The kids gathered around him, looking down at him dubiously.

“Why is he laughing?” “D’you think he hurt his head?” “I dunno—he seems fine to me!” As if Nagisa’s laughter was infectious, the children started to giggle as well. When Nagisa spread out his arms, they piled on top of him one by one, joining in on his laughter. The man’s hair was swept to the side from his fall, cheeks flushed from exhilaration, eyes crinkled and sparkling genuinely as he _really_ laughed.

Ah—so this was it. Rei had seen his polite smile, his joking grin, heard his mischievous giggling and loud guffawing at something he found hilarious. He couldn’t say none of the former were genuine—but this smile, this laugh was different. Refreshing, unrestrained, childlike—happy. It was like seeing a whole other face—and he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

 

Eventually, Nagisa came down from his laughter and beamed. And in turn, Rei’s heart did a funny flip in his chest.

 

* * *

 

“—was thinking, y’know, since it’s spring again and all—“

“Yes—“ Rei murmured absently, not really listening to what Rin was saying. His thoughts were still with Nagisa, with the way his smile had lit up his eyes and the way his infectious laughter bubbled out from his lips. 

“—and he’s had some time to get over the guy from before—”

“Mhm—” Rei wondered if it was strange, that an almost-stranger’s face wouldn’t leave his mind. 

“—so I’m thinking about introducing Nagisa to someone new—” 

“EH.” A loud sound of surprise tore from Rei’s throat. Before he knew it, the cup of coffee that had been in his hands was lopsided on the table, and his lap was full of black liquid—thankfully turned cold, with how Rei had been spacing off. His face colored with embarrassment and he scrambled all over the place, trying to wipe the coffee stains off his pants with a few napkins.

“Rei—” Across from him, Rin’s eyes were wide. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“I—uh—I—it was an accident?” Rei fumbled with his words, dabbing the napkins at his pants in vain. “Um—you, you said something about—introducing someone? Who?” 

“—Dunno.” Rin was giving him the scrutinizing eye. “I haven’t decided who yet. But I know a few decent candidates here and there, so—” Rei’s glasses slipped, and he hastily pushed them up with a coffee-stained hand.

“I-is that so?” Brown stains formed on his glasses. “I—I see! Th-that is extremely thoughtful of you, Rin-sa—”

“Waaiiiittt a second.” Rin fixed Rei with a discerning look, one that made Rei gulp nervously for some reason. “Am I onto something here?” 

“? Onto what??” _???_ What was Rei feeling nervous for, anyways? It was just Rin-san asking him a question—why did he oddly feel like he was trying to hide something?

“I _thought_ you were being weird recently.” Rin leaned back in his chair, looking Rei up and down. “You’ve always avoided Nagisa, but you’ve been weirdly jumpy about it lately. Not to mention you’ve actually started _asking_ about him—and the thing with that mug. And your reaction just now—that was weird as hell, too.”

“Wh-what do you mean, Rin-san?” Rei forced a laugh, bringing his empty coffee cup to his lips. “Why, why would my actions be considered ‘weird’? I hardly see anything out of the ordina—”

“I have no idea how—but do you have an actual _thing_ for Nagisa?”

Rei stared. Rin waited. 

“—A thing?” repeated Rei, with a confused frown. “What do you—” Before him, Rin sighed impatiently.

“I’m asking if you like him!” When Rei’s expression didn’t change, the redhead groaned. “Like, do you want to go out with him! Jesus, how can I make that clearer?” 

“—‘Go out’?” The furrow in Rei’s brow deepened. “You can’t possibly mean—” Images of love letters on pink stationery and hearts on purikura stands crossed his mind. “—Romantically?” he finished, with a doubtful look. “Why would you ever come to that conclusion?” 

“Rei. I _just_ said I was gonna set him up with someone and you fucking dropped your coffee. You should’ve _seen_ the look on your face—” 

“B-but that has nothing to do with me having romantic sentiments for—” Rei’s words sputtered out, face feeling warm all of a sudden. “H-how does me spilling a drink equate to—to _that_ illogical notion?!” 

“You’re stuttering.” A smirk was starting to form on Rin’s face. “Oh god, I can’t believe it. And you used to be all like _‘he’s so illogical and un-sciency, I don’t think we’ll ever get a-long, blah blah blah—_ ‘” 

“Th-that’s preposterous!” insisted Rei, flushing. “What do you mean that I have ‘a thing’ for Hazuki-san?!” Even as he denied Rin’s accusation, Nagisa’s smile flashed across his mind. “He’s—I barely even _know_ him—” He remembered spotting that strawberry mug, just knowing it would be a good choice as soon as he’d laid eyes on it. “I would never be caught up in something as illogical as _romantic attraction—”_

“But you _are_ interested.” The expression Rin wore was that of someone who knew he was right—it infuriated Rei every time he saw it. “You _do_ want to know more about Nagisa. You can’t deny that much.” 

“I—“ The fact that he’d spent months puzzling over Nagisa’s existence occurred to Rei. “Th-that’s not true!” By now, however, his protests seemed to be falling on deaf ears. 

“Now _this_ is a hilarious and interesting situation.” Rin’s smirk was even wider, if not more mischievous. “Hey, Rei, I have a suggestion for you.”

“—your speculation is completely unreasonable—are you _listening,_ Rin-san?!”

“Why don’t _you_ try meeting him? On a date?” There was laughter in Rin’s voice, a knowing glint in his eyes.

Across the table, Rei’s mouth fell open stupidly. Soon, his face steamed up like a kettle on high fire. 

“Absolutely not!!” His horrified yell had Rin collapsing in laughter. “Wh—Rin-san!! Stop _laughing!!”_

 

A date. With Nagisa. Just the notion made his heart lurch in his chest. But that didn’t prove _anything._

All the same, a nagging feeling was crawling up Rei’s spine—that there might be some weight to Rin’s words, even if they weren’t completely true.

 

* * *

 

**-Two Months Later-**

 

Time really passed in the blink of an eye. And things seemed to change just as fast.

 

“All right, Rin-san.” Inside their usual café, Rei stood up a bit shakily from his seat. “I’ll be off now. Th-thank you for sitting with me on a weekend morning.” 

“You mean for making sure you don’t run away?” With a grin, Rin stood as well. “Someone’s gotta make sure you actually go.” Rei laughed weakly, only because he couldn’t find the composure to do much else.

“I’m so nervous that I feel like throwing up,” he said, smile shaky. Rin laughed as well.

“Relax—it’s just Nagisa. He won’t hate you—probably.”

_“Rin-san!!”_ The redhead chuckled at Rei’s wail.

“Go break a leg, lover boy.” With that, Rin slapped Rei on the shoulder. “And don’t overthink things too much. It’s just a date.”

“Just a date,” Rei repeated faintly. He stood up straighter, hands reaching up to tug at the edge of his bangs. “I’ll be back, Rin-san—and intact.”

“You’re not going out into _battle!_ ” Rin’s laugh was the last thing he heard, before Rei left the café.

 

Six months ago, all Rei had wanted to do was avoid Nagisa. And now, he was on his way to meet the same illogical person.

 

* * *

 

**-Three Months Later-**

 

On a warm autumn day, Rei found himself back at the usual crosswalk. His long fingers curled around the strap of his backpack, his foot tapping on the sidewalk absently as he vaguely hummed the melody to a pop song. When the lights turned green, the brunet made his way across, steps brisk with anticipation. He spotted a familiar head of golden curls on the other side, and his violet eyes lit up.

“Nagisa-kun!” A smile lifted the corners of his mouth, and he ran past the pedestrians to reach the blond. “It’s rare of you to be ten minutes early! Were you waiting lo—” The rest of the words died on his lips when he noticed something. 

On Nagisa’s face was a very deep, very noticeable pout. His arms were crossed, his body turned away from Rei. It was rare to see him this cross—wondering what was wrong, the brunet cautiously placed a hand on Nagisa’s shoulder.

“Um—Nagisa-kun? Is something the matter—” 

“I heard about everything from Rin-chan.” The smaller man’s peevish voice cut him off. “You can’t hide it from me anymore!” At the accusation, Rei went rigid. His thoughts immediately leapt to the swimming lessons he was getting from the redhead—they were supposed to remain a secret from Nagisa until Rei could surprise him on their next swim date. _Rin-san, I’m going to kill you!_ Feeling half-vengeful and half-panicked, Rei scrambled to piece together a reply.

“N-Nagisa-kun—I understand why you might be upset, but please understand—I just wanted to surprise yo—”

“Rin-chan told me exactly what you used to think of me a year ago!” 

“—Huh?” Blinking, Rei stepped back with surprise. Before him, Nagisa’s cheeks had puffed up to the size of peaches. 

“I can’t believe you called me loud, obnoxious, and annoying! And you didn’t even know me that well back then!” His pout deepened. “I _knew_ you were avoiding me because you didn’t like me!” When he finally processed what Nagisa was talking about, Rei groaned inwardly. He really _was_ going to have to kill Rin for exaggerating his words. 

“That’s not true, Nagisa-kun—I never called you ‘obnoxious’ or ‘annoying’! And I never _disliked_ you—you know how Rin-san tends to blow things out of proportion!” 

“Then how come you avoided me so much all those months?!”

“I told you, that was because—well, because I thought you’d be difficult to get along with, but that was only for the first six months or so! After that, well, I was trying to figure out some things and I truly did feel nervous about meeting you—”

“I’m breaking up with you, Rei-chan,” replied Nagisa, in a childishly disgruntled voice. “It’s over!” Without warning, he began dashing away at a surprising speed for someone his height.

_“Eeeh?!”_ Alarmed, Rei quickly chased after Nagisa. “Wait—Nagisa-kun! Things aren’t like that anymore, you _know_ they aren’t!” he called, feeling flustered and a little desperate. “Please don’t say it’s over all of a sudden!” When Nagisa didn’t show signs of slowing down, Rei stopped, eyes squeezing shut.

 

“No matter how things were back then, I really do like you now!!”

 

At the outburst, Nagisa’s feet finally came to a stop. Behind him, Rei’s cheeks were burning from his public confession. When the blond turned around, his pout was fading and his cheeks were a warm pink.

“Really?” he asked—voice half-petulant and half-shy. Rei’s flush reached his ears, but he didn’t look away.

“Of course!” he said firmly. And just like that, Nagisa’s lips quivered up into the beaming smile Rei loved so much. 

“Then, can we do something super couple-y?” he chirped, sullenness completely gone from his face. It was almost as if he’d never really been upset in the first place—

Oh. Before Rei knew it Nagisa was standing right before him, large, sparkly eyes staring up into Rei’s. Gulping, the brunet asked, “What is i—”

“Over there!” With an exited tug at Rei’s sleeve, Nagisa pointed to the purikura machine before the arcade. “Let’s go and take some photos! They have _really_ cute sticker designs in that machine!” 

“Wh—wait, Nagisa-kun!” A flustered Rei was dragged towards the machine, whisked behind its bright pink flaps in the matter of seconds.

 

Later, when they emerged from the machine, Nagisa was laughing at the stickers in his hand and Rei was shoving his hand under his glasses. 

“Oh my god, Rei-chan, I can’t believe you actually struck this pose!” the smaller man gasped between giggles, staring at a shot of Rei with one knee up, sticking his arms at an upward angle like a butterfly. Thanks to the antennas, mustache, and tutu stickers Nagisa had added, Rei looked even more ridiculous than he would have. 

“Are you _sure_ you don’t want a retake, Nagisa-kun?” asked Rei, eye twitching as he stared at some of the other stickers. “The way my eyes are squinting in that frame is not beautiful. And I’m positive that turning my face a greater angle would result in the most optimal shot—”

_“Those_ are the ones you’re getting embarrassed over?” Nagisa laughed. “Rei-chan, you’re such a dork!” 

The indignation in Rei’s eyes eventually gave way to obvious fondness, as he watched his boyfriend look over their photos happily. He recalled seeing a high school couple leave the same purikura machine a year ago with their hands joined—now, Rei wondered if he and Nagisa looked the same as those teenagers had. 

Slowly, Rei’s hand reached over to take Nagisa’s in a gentle, warm squeeze. Blinking, the blond looked up to see his boyfriend averting his eyes, free hand going up towards his glasses. 

“Rei-chan?” 

“Just—just so you know,” Rei began, fiddling with his red frames. “I would have taken them with you, even if you’d just asked up front.” For a moment, Nagisa’s expression flickered with surprise. Then, his eyes glowed warmly with affection.

 

“I really like you too, Rei-chan.” 

“—Eh?” Before Rei had a chance to let those words sink in, he found himself being tugged behind the purikura machine flaps again. As soon as they fell down, warm lips pressed against Rei’s, softer than before and tasting faintly of strawberries. Rei found his eyes widening once, before lidding gently as he kissed Nagisa back. 

All anyone outside could have seen were Rei’s Nikes and Nagisa’s bright yellow sneakers on tiptoe. That was what Rei told himself as they emerged from the purikura machine ten minutes later. Hopefully, the average passerby wouldn’t be too curious about their matching disheveled hair and flushed faces.

 

Yes, love was illogical. But so was Nagisa. And to Rei, Nagisa was one of the best illogical things to exist in the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading til the end! Especially to those who left kudos and comments, thank you so much!! I've missed writing fics and it was good to be back with more Reigisa. I know the fandom's shrinking a little since the anime's ended, but it's good to know people still are reading and writing stuff now and then.
> 
> I think I've mentioned that I've written and scrapped a lot of stuff before. One of these days I might go back and edit/rewrite some of that, because I've gotten kind of far into some of them and it kind of feels like a waste. I also have an idea for something else related to this Blind Date AU that I might write sometime. Until then...well, I hope people will still be interested :')
> 
> As always, please let me know what you thought!


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